About me:

Whats up everybody, for those of u who dont know me my name is Reece. Well im supposed to describe myself so here i go, I'm not ur normal type of guy, i was born in England and i moved over here when i was 5 and ever since then i thought i was in this country illegally along wit my brother and my mother. I lived my entire life thinkin that and it was pretty much true, my life has been a struggle of that mind set, getting jobs was always difficult cuz i cant prove that ima a citizen, enjoyin life period was difficult. Now I have a 5 months old daugther named Ashlynn and right now she is the only love of my life, i did love her mother but because of my situation it caused too many problems between us and now we are not together. My life sucks, and now I cant be the father I want to be for my daughter and that just makes it worse. But just recently after all these years i found out that im a citizen and all i needed was a god damn passport. Ain't life a bitch! Well now that i know this im basically starting my life all over again. I'm going to move back to Florida so i can be with my daughter and be that father that she deserves, and who knows if im not with ne one maybe i can fix whats broken, lol, yeah right like that'll ever happen. Well i figured i should say all that so you all know what ur gettin into before talk to me. Other than that i am the coolest guy u could ever meet, i never have a problem wit ne one but i hate the drama so dont bring it near me, i got enough shit on my mind already. I love to hang out but i also just love to chill at the house. Well if there is ne thing else u wanna know bout me just hit me up. Here are some man laws for you: 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss' car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". (e) When she is using her teeth. 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! (c) Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green (unless its a Lamborghini Murciealago), or sky blue (unless its Carolina Blue). 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. 29: Pull out 30. Cuddling is ONLY acceptable AFTER sex in the event you are looking to get laid in the morning. <(I LOVE YOU ASHLYNN MARIE MORRIS YOUR MY FAVORITE!)>