jude calvert-toulmin

www.myspace.com/judecalverttoulmin

Granny, Mum, Writer, Photographer

  • jude calvert-toulmin

  • Female
  • Sheffield, Northwest, UK

80216421||11100|http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/46/m_19a3834419cd7d9daa6c93268843b034.gif

Interests

  • General

    Extracts from MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE which have been performed live.

    Chapter 32 - Sex and Love at the Travelodge Inn

    Click on Rodin's The Kiss for text version.

    Extracts from MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE which have been performed live.

    Chapter 25 - THE KISS.

    Click on Atkinson Grimshaw's "Boar Lane" for text version.

    ..

    Excerpt from Chapter 40 - SPIKE IN A BUBBLE.

    Click on Munch's "The Scream" for text version.

    .. Chapter 1 - FUCK 'EM.

    Click on Edgar Allen Poe's "The Imp of the Perverse" for text version.

    .. Extract from Chapter 15 - The Burbage Picnic

    Click on the artichoke for text version

    WARNING - SEXUALLY EXPLICIT

    ....

    Extract from Chapter 7 - Joey Zebrowski

    Click on blue Ferrari for text version

    ..
  • Music

    THE UNIVERSE: birdsong, GOD: ennio morricone, THE SON OF GOD: nick drake, HEAVEN: gavin clark THE CHERUBS: my children singing when they were toddlers, THE CHORUS OF ANGELS: imani hekima, bagpipes, camerón de la isla, a certain ratio, phil campbell, mojo and the beatniks, matthew critchley, 23 skidoo, abba, air, antony and the johnsons, aphex twin, ash, (early) aztec camera, banoffi, beatles, ben harper, billy holiday, billy mackenzie, bob dylan, bob marley, carole king, carpenters, cat stevens, chemical brothers, chrissie hynde, cocteau twins, colourbox, cowboy junkies, danza invisible, dj spooky, donny osmond, (early) echo and the bunnymen, enya, erik satie, flowrush, groove armada, happy mondays, hula, iggy pop, jack johnson, jah wobble, jamiroquai, jeff buckley, joni mitchell, josef k, kate rusby, kirsty maccoll, kruder dorfmeister, magazine, marvin gaye, marianne faithfull, mike oldfield, MinusBlue, the moog, mozart, mr scruff, natacha atlas, neil sparkes and the lost tribe, neil young, nightmares on wax, (1st 2 albums) oasis, (early) orange juice, the orb, orbital, PIL, pink fairies, pink floyd, the pogues, psychedelic furs, robbie williams, roxy music, samuel barber, scientist, seth lakeman, sheryl crow, sparks, tangerine dream, (early) the teardrop explodes, the associates, tinariwen, tom noonan, underworld, vivaldi, wings.
  • Movies

    directors: krzysztof kieslowski, david lynch, stanley kubrick, terrence malick, hal ashby, martin scorcese, arthur penn, francis ford coppola, werner herzog, sergio leone, ridley scott, michael mann, mike nichols, herk hervey, sam mendes, orson welles, woody allen, ken russell, john carpenter, jane campion, mike leigh, peter care, ken loach, blake edwards, giuseppe tornatore, shane meadows, jaques tati, luis bunuel, kevin smith, roy ward baker, mike hodges, claude berri, robert aldrich, patrice chereau, billy wilder, bill forsyth, douglas trumbull, wim wenders, jonathan caouette, sam raimi, peter greenaway, luc besson, george sluizer, quentin tarantino, michael cimino, clint eastwood, tobe hooper, david cronenburg,

    films: this is spinal tap, this is england, three colours red, three colours blue, three colours white, westworld, withnail and i, 2001, eyes wide shut, a clockwork orange, a short film about killing, a short film about love, black hawk down, boogie nights, catch 22, carnival of souls, un chien andalou, stone monkey, pepe le pew, american beauty, annie hall, apocalypse now, assault on precinct 13, badlands, bambi, beauty and the beast, being john malkovitch, being there, bladerunner, blow-up, blue velvet, bonnie and clyde, breakfast at tiffany's, bridges of madison county, brief encounter, cinderella, cinema paradiso, clerks, crash,cry baby, damage,dark star, days of heaven, dead man's shoes, dogma, don’t bother to knock, don't look now, eraserhead, escape from new york, (carpenter original),falling in love, far from heaven, get carter, gladiator, battleship potemkin, goodfellas, halloween, the texas chainsaw massacre, (tobe hooper original), hannibal brooks, harold and maude, jay and silent bob strike back, jean de florette, les vacances de monsieur hulot, mallrats, manon des sources, mean streets, johnny yesno ,kiss me deadly, double indemnity, (wilder original), lady chatterly (ken russell), la reine margot,local hero, lost highway, manhattan, manhunter, mulholland drive, nashville, nosferatu, once upon a time in america, once upon a time in the west, one from the heart, paris texas, pinocchio, pulp fiction, raging bull, scum, sex lies and videotape, shrek, silent running, sleeping beauty, snow white and the seven dwarfs, something’s got to give, (reconstructed from incomplete footage), spoorloos, (ie the vanishing dutch original),tarnation, taxi driver, the big blue,the deerhunter, the devils, the double life of veronique,the draughtsman’s contract, the evil dead, the evil dead part II, the godfather, the godfather part II, the jungle book, the last picture show, the lion king, the little mermaid, the magnificent ambersons, the offence, the piano, the proposition, the shining, the thin red line, the sound of music, thelma and louise, touch of evil, toy story, trainspotting, twin peaks fire walk with me, unforgiven, women in love,

  • Television

    skins, road wars, sopranos,extras,shameless, h.r.pufnstuf, banana splits, desperate housewives, heston blumenthal in search of perfection, the sky at night, space, simon schama power of art, randall and hopkirk (deceased) (original '69 series with mike pratt and kenneth cope),stingray, monkey magic (magic show), murun buchstansangur, futurama, the simpsons, the office, bill granger bill's food, saturday morning kitchen, dr terrible's house of horrible, saturday cooks!, jamie oliver, rugrats, delia smith, have i got news for you, simon schama history of britain, sopranos, thirtysomething, horizon, afterlife, pre 80s hanna barbera, the expert, department s, my so called life, 40 minutes, seven up, the singing ringing tree, belle and sebastian, the long chase, pepe le pew, captain pugwash.
  • Books

    currently reading: "The English. A Social History 1066-1945" by Christopher Hibbert.

    the age of reason, crime and punishment, lady chatterly’s lover, lord of the flies, love in the time of cholera, nothing, on broadway, the alchemist, the brothers karamazov, the dice man, the doors of perception, the electric kool-aid acid test, the gambler, the great gatsby, the name of the rose, the quiet american, hell's angels, therese raquin, the heart of the matter, the little prince, rabbit run, rabbit redux, rabbit is rich, romeo and juliet, jonathan livingstone seagull, the biography of nick drake, down the highway (dylan biog), heavier than heaven (cobain biog), ladies and gentlemen lenny bruce, marilyn the last take, napoleon in love, the assassination of marilyn monroe, 20th century factory glass, arabic geometrical pattern and design, cosmic tribe tarot, gil elvgren - all his glamorous american pin ups, les tres riches heures du duc de berry, moroccan interiors, star wars episode 1 the visual dictionary, star wars the visual dictionary, the art of hanna barbera, the decorated dolls house, the last sitting, the mosaic book, brassai - the secret paris of the 30s, this is rome, this is san francisco, this is paris (all of the miroslav sasek "this is" series are great), a bright shining lie, black vinyl white powder, chickenhawk, cops, dispatches, richard wilhelm I ching, nam, snow blind, the hite report, touching the void, women who run with the wolves, argos catalogue, complete cookery course (delia smith), CAMRA good beer guide, lakeland plastics catalogue, my favourite chinese recipes (ken hom), oriental cookbook (priya wickramasinghe), summer collection (delia smith), the chocolate book(helge rubinstein), the curry secret(kris dhillon), winter collection (delia smith), blackberry farm, busy busy world (richard scarry), cars and trucks and things that go(richard scarry), cinderella (ladybird 1965), )elves and the shoemaker(ladybird 1965, fat freddys cat, green eggs and ham, huckleberry hound annuals, kandy meets the bunny babes, sleeping beauty(ladybird 1965), viz annuals

  • Heroes

    anyone who fights for truth, justice and liberty. harry enfield's yorkshireman character ("ah NOR serfistikayshun ahv BEEEN ta leeds!"), my partner brian, paolo coelho, goya, jamie oliver, boudicca, thomas hardy, oliver reed, william hogarth, theodore gericault, pete care, kieslosvski, caravaggio, joan of arc, gaudi, marilyn monroe, dostoevsky, joe simpson, franz marc, adrian cooper, marco pierre white, velasquez, gabriel garcia marquez.

Details

  • Status: In a Relationship
  • Hometown: Sheff
  • Zodiac Sign: Leo
  • Children: Proud parent
  • Education: College graduate
  • Occupation: writer

Schools

  • The Manchester Metropolitan University

    • Manchester, United Kingdom
    • Graduated: 1981
    • Student status: Alumni
    • Degree: Bachelor's Degree
    • Major: graphic design
    • Minor: film and television production
    1978 to 1981
  • Sheffield Hallam University

    • Sheffield, United Kingdom
    • Graduated: N/A
    • Student status: Alumni
    • Degree: None
    • Major: foundation course art & design
    1977 to 1978
  • Abbeydale Grange School

    • Sheffield, United Kingdom
    • Graduated: N/A
    • Student status: Alumni
    • Degree: None
    • Major: 1 O level 4 A levels
    1975 to 1977
  • Silverdale School

    • Sheffield, United Kingdom
    • Graduated: N/A
    • Student status: Alumni
    • Degree: None
    • Major: 9 O levels
    • Clubs: noddy club and tufty club.
    1970 to 1975

Comments

Displaying 25 of 160 comments
  • Dec 12 2008 4:55 PM

    Best wishes and much noise

    Eat lights; Become lights
  • Nov 26 2008 6:03 PM

    Thanks a lot for the add Jude. We have respect for the Soul. Sade's music will always be our sole inspiration.

    Love from Istanbul/Turkey

    FLOW
  • Feb 17 2008 10:03 AM

    Congrats on the book Jude!
  • Feb 12 2008 3:52 PM

    Hiya Jude! Still buzzing from today I bet. I thought your interview and story was really moving.....will be doing a blog on today's show tomorrow so I'll let u know.

    All the best and enjoy the moment!
  • Jan 1 2008 12:46 AM

    Wishing you a Happy New Year!
  • Nov 5 2007 12:36 AM

    how's the book?
  • Oct 15 2007 7:52 PM

    hey mum do you know anything more about the id?
  • Sep 6 2007 8:17 AM

    Hey Jude,

    Thanks for the ADD
  • Aug 17 2007 6:07 PM

    Hi Jude,
    Hope you and the family are all happy and well. We've been busy moving house and have had to cope without broadband for a while.
    Keep in touch.
    Graham x
  • Aug 15 2007 9:06 AM

    Hi Jude, how's it going? I haven't heard from you for a while. Ya been busy?
    X, ian
  • Ben

    Aug 3 2007 7:28 AM

    My queen. I'm travelling up to North Wales this weekend to climb, chill out and be merry. I'm meeting Sutty up there to try and drag him up some of his old routes, I'll be sure to say Hi from you!

    Have a good weekend :o)

    Ben xx
  • Jul 20 2007 8:42 AM

    Worlds collide and create new worlds. I hope your world; the one creative because of chaos is treating you with kindness and you it. Pete
  • Jun 19 2007 11:13 AM

    Thanks Jude - you have mail!
  • Jun 17 2007 10:15 AM

    Thanks Jude,
    Im not sure how i stumbled across your Space...but i did, and im glad.
    Take Care

    Taryn
  • Ben

    Jun 15 2007 6:12 PM

    Well well well, the queen of UK Climbing :o) Hope life is good, loving your myspace Ben xxx
  • Jun 8 2007 7:13 PM

    Hi there jude - it was really nice to see you at the degree show last friday, sorry i didn't get much time to say anything but hello. Hope you are keeping well. Cant believe it has been a year since the last one!
    Take care.
    Love Damon xx
  • Jun 4 2007 6:13 PM

    thanks shannon :) ive written a blog article about it on my sheffield blog which is here: http://thewhiteroseofyorkshire.blogspot.com/

    great to see you all and see you in a few days :)

    love jude xxx
  • Jun 4 2007 1:01 PM

    Hi Jude, Lovely to see you at Peace in the Park this weekend, sorry we didn't get much of a chance to catch up... as you saw, we were flat out! Had a fantastic day though and am starting to recover a bit now! Hope you guys enjoyed it too... was wondering if you'd had a chance to put your photos up somewhere? Would love to see them if you could point me in the right direction. Look forward to having you with us on Thursday, see you then, x S
  • Jun 1 2007 6:32 PM

    safe for the comment bruv hope ur all good hows life treatin u hit man back bless mk aka meanking
  • May 29 2007 11:03 AM

    hey jude, thanx for your lovely comments on my blog. i've got many more where that came from, just needs typing up. i have been such a prolific writer in the last couple of weeks that you will be proud of me.
    hope things are going well at your end and things are going smoothly for 'starbirth'. you are so inspirational and me love you loads! xox
    ps. i'll soon be posting up my new street and wedding shots. i'll keep you posted as to when they're up :)
  • May 28 2007 9:44 PM

    Hello Jude,

    Thank you very much for accepting.
    Very interesting page.
  • May 28 2007 10:32 AM

    Hey Jude,

    Thanks for the add.

    Love,

    The Leisure Society.
  • May 28 2007 8:54 AM

    Hello jude calvert-toulmin,

    Wishing you a happy Memorial Day!!

    Warmest,

    Marco ;-)
  • May 26 2007 10:35 PM

    hey ms calvert-toulmin! how are you? you have not visited my blog in a while. :( miss your feedback. hope you're good and the letters are going well. x
  • May 18 2007 9:55 AM

    Hi Thanks for the add. I recognise you, aren't you the girl with the Roddy blog the ribbons and bows etc?

Blurbs

About me:

Contact email.

Fleur De Lys Publishing Ltd main site.

Welcome to Fleur De Lys Publishing

Autumn 2008/Spring 2009 Book Releases

Warning! Some book descriptions contain explicitly sexual language which people of a sensitive nature may find offensive. This is an info site. There are regular articles over at the Blog.

Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law

Chapter 1

My wife doesn’t want to fuck me. But my mother-in-law does.

My wife is always off having ‘down time’ with her secret life. My mother-in-law’s got a secret life too.

With me.

Synopsis

Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law is the sexually explicit tale of lonely people trying to find happiness by daring to follow their hearts. Some people shout about finding the wild place, whilst others are quietly swimming in it...

Kate married far too young. Now husband Alex, once the love her life, bores her to tears. He's so busy gardening and watching repeats of Top Gear on the tele, he would never guess about Kate's secret life with her lover Colin.

But gardening and Top Gear can keep a man happy for only so long. Especially with a Mother-in-Law as voluptuous and gorgeous as Julia, a lonely widow who hasn't had sex for five years.

Buy Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law here.

MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE

Chapter 1 - Fuck 'Em

Love is the only path to take, amongst the many confusing and tangled branches of paths which present themselves to us every day of our lives.

But sometimes we choose to go down the wrong path, and sometimes, that’s what makes life all the more entertaining; our failures, our insecurities, listening to the subversive whispers in our ears of Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘Imp of the Perverse’.

The bar is crowded, packed with hysterical people frothing at the mouth and baying for my blood.

I cannot see a face, I cannot hear a sound.

For this is cyberspace.

I have arrived, and instinctively I know that whilst following my natural inclination to dole out love, these fuckers are going to get punished. This is the gold rush, they have inadvertently drawn me into the fray, and I’m going to get those gold nuggets and leave them incredulous and furious.

Fuck ‘em.

Synopsis

MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE, by Jude Calvert-Toulmin, is set in Sheffield and on an internet discussion forum, back in the pioneering days of forums at the turn of the millennium.

Inspired by the author's life, it is a humorous, erotic dark tale of an unhappily married mother of three, Dominique DuBois, who falls in love with a man on a forum, without knowing what he looks like, merely by dint of his writing. Think Brief Encounter in cyberspace.

Pre-order or buy from Spring 2009 here.

....
Below, Jude Calvert-Toulmin talking about her sexually explicit new book, Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law which is not a part of the MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERPSACE trilogy. Buy it here.

Above: Recent performances from MY ADVENTURES IN CYBERSPACE

If you want to find out more about her she's been running a successful blog for nearly 3 years now which has had over 32,000 visitors. On the blog are articles about her time on the turn of the 80's music scene and also CYBEXes (cyber exhibitions) profiling the work of other artists and musicians.

***

Don't forget to check out the author's MySpace pics for more pictures, including some of her home cooking, which is, after all, incredibly relevant to promotion of the book.

"FONTIS NYMPHA SACRI SOMNVM NE RVMPE QVIESCO", as they say in Rome.

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Who I'd like to meet: