I have been busy banishing enemies like this bipolar, gargantuan pseudo-assistant/wannabe drag queen who looked like Ursula the underwater sea-bitch in a pickup truck! Beware of this useless piece of spacejunk formerly known as the planet Pluto who parks his intergalactic girth on your sofa while shaving his back, applying a bucket of Mac, and wolfing down a subway sandwich the size of Brazil....okay, enough about Britney's personal life!
Now onto the adventures of the LOVE GODDESS! I just finished performing on a Gay Cruise with 2,000 hot Seamen and a giant floating buffet! Thankfully the Goddess did not gain an ounce since I line-danced with the clogging queens 24/7! They were most worshipful and clamored for photo-ops with me & my mom. The first night, I did 2 shows with standing O's and the rest of the time played bingo, judged a swimsuit contest, and laughed as they rolled around in a chocolate fountain at midnight., decked out in boas and sequins.. while singing along with Nikki Blonsky from the movie Hairspray! Eat your heart out, George- Bush-whacker! Soon that hillbilly billionaire will be riding the bull in Dall-ass (sorry, Laura). Anyway, how exciting is this Blow-down between the Democratic presidential hopefuls? I loved that photo of Obama in is Aunt Jemima garb....if anything that would endear him to the crystal-meth snorting soccer Moms of Afghanastan! And Billary is out there in her pantsuit punching her way to the Ovular Office! May the best man win!!!