Julie

hahahaha i practically begged you to hang out last time

hows life?

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well my girl carlie moved there with her sister and wants us to visit her too... so i was thinking it should be cheaper to fly there when we come see you cuz you're closer...
hahaha does it really work like that or just in my mind?

..so about Sean & I coming to visit, have you ever been to hawaii? because i have this awesome plan....................

shark weeeeekkk starts sunday!!!!



doesn't this one look cuddly? kinda like oh hi!

ahhhhh. yeah dogs do that, and theyre totally excusable unlike people.

i bet you love my proper grammar usage. probably a rarity over on the westside of things

i had a dream 2 nites ago that you brought a psycho girl over tho our apt. that was throwing glass everywhere. it ended in me slowly chocking he while yellin"i have two baby kitties that better not get hurt!"
scott claims pent up agression.

(205): woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
(1-205): yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

(206): Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.

(315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
(315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey

(513): My mom found a condom in my purse
(513): Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse

(253): My mind says no, but my body says yes.
(703): What does your body say about chlamydia?

(773): Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

(832): I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
(832): On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.

(480): A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

(505): I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously

Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?

(920): the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...

(719): Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.

I know you do! it reminded me of the convo we once had as roomies over what kind of pet to get....I wanted a dog and you wanted a dragon.

I
fucking
Love
you!!!!!