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"Um " - she shook her head, blinking - "your server will be right out." She walked away unsteadily.
"You really shouldn't do that to people," I criticized. "It's hardly fair."
"Do what?"
"Dazzle them like that - she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."
He seemed confused.
"Oh, come on," I said dubiously. "You have to know the effect you have on people."
He tilted his head to one side, and his eyes were curious. "I dazzle people?"
"You haven't noticed? Do you think everyone gets their way so easily?"
He ignored my questions. "Do I dazzle you?"
"Frequently," I admitted.
167-168

"What are you going to tell her?" Edward murmured.
"Hey, I thought you couldn't read my mind!" I hissed.
"I can't," he said, startled. Then understanding brightened his eyes, "However, I can read hers - she'll be waiting to ambush you in class."
I groaned as I pulled off his jacket and handed it to him, replacing it wih my own. He folded it over his arm.
"So what are you going to tell her?"
"A little help?" I pleaded. "What does she want to know?"
He shook his head, grinning wickedly. "That's not fair."
"No, you not sharing what you know - now that's not fair."
He deliberated for a moment as we walked. We stopped outside the door to my first class.
"She wants to know if we're secretly dating. And she wants to know you how you feel about me," he finally said.
"Yikes. What should I say?" I tried to keep my expresion very innocent. People were passing us on their way to class, probably staring, but I was barely aware of them.
"Hmmm." He paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist on my neck and wound it back into place. My heart spluttered hyperactively. "I suppose you could say yes to the first... if you don't mind - it's easier than any other explanation."
"I don't mind," I said in a faint voice.
"And for the other question... well, I'll be listening to hear the answer to that one myself." One side of his mouth pulled up into my favorite uneven smile. I couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond to that remark.
200-201

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you? he murmured, leaning closer to me as he spoke, his dark golden eyes piercing.
I tried to remember to exhale. I had to look away before it came to me.
"You're doing it again," I muttered.
His eyes opened wide with surprise. "What?"
"Dazzling me," I admitted, trying to concentrate as I looked back at him.
"Oh." He frowned.
"It's not your fault," I sighed. "You can't help it."
208-209

"You know how everyone enjoss different flavors?" he began, "Some people love chocolate ice cream, other preffer strawberry."
I nodded.
"Sorry about the food - analogy I couldn't think of a way to explain."
I smiled. He smiled ruefully back.
"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glas of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac - and filled the room with its aroma - how do you think he would fare then?"
We sat silently, looking into each other's eyes - trying to read each other's thoughts.
He broke the silence first.
"Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."
"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. "Yes you are exactly my brand of heroin."
267-268

"You already know how I feel, of course," I finally said. "I'm here... which, roughly translated, means I would rather die then be away from you," I frowned. "I'm an idiot."
"You are an idiot," he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.
"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...," he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.
"What a sick, masochistic lion." He stared into the shadowly forest for a moment, and I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.
274

"You miss your mother," he whispered. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.'" He laughed softly, hoping I could see, not to offend me further.
"Anything else?" I demanded.
He knew what I was getting at. "You did say my name," he admitted.
I sighed in defeat. "A lot?"
"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"
"Oh no!" I hung my head.
He pulled my against his chest, softly, naturally.
"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."
294

"You left?" I accused, touching the collar of his fresh shirt.
"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in - what would the neighbors think?"
I pouted.
"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." His eyes gleamed, "The talking came earlier."
I groaned. "What did you hear?"
His gold eyes grew very soft. "You said you loved me."
"You knew that already," I reminded him, ducking my head.
"It was nice to hear, just the same."
I hid my face against his shoulder.
"I love you," I whispered.
"You are my life now," he answered simply.
314

"I can do this." I sniffled. My tears had given me inspiration.
I stopped on the porch and took hold olf his face in my hands. I looked fiercly into his eyes.
"I love you," I said in a low, intense voice. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now."
"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella," he said just as fiercly.

391

"Bella, it is going to be all right."
"But it won't be all right when I'm not with you," I whispered.
"We'll be together again in a few days," he said, tightening his arm around me. "Don't forget that this was your idea."
"It was the best idea - of course it was mine."
397

Jasper and I looked at each other. He stood there across the length of the entryway from me... being careful.
"You're wrong, you know," he said quietly.
"What?" I gasped.
"I can feel what you're feeling now - and you are worth it."
"I'm not," I mumbled. "If anything happens to them, it will be for nothing."
"You're wrong," he repeated, smiling kindly at me.
404

"Alice," I asked slowly, without turning, keeping my voice level. "If I write a letter for my mother, would you give it to her? Leave it at the house, I mean."
"Sure, Bella." Her voice was careful. She could see me coming apart at the seams. I had to keep my emotions under better control.
I went into the bedroom again, and knelt next to the little bedside table to write.
"Edward," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.
"I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry.
Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.
And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants, I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please, this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.
I love you. Forgive me.
Bella.
I folded the letter carefully, and sealed in it the envelope. Eventually he would find it. I only hoped he would understand, and listen to me just this once.
And then I carefully sealed away my heart.
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