SchoLaR oF SmuT naMed Dr. JustEatBeaNs 's Interests
General
I'M A
ConnoisseuR
oF SleazE,
aNd a SchOlaR
OF SmuT...
WheN I FeeL
LiKe ReachiN
oUt to MY
FelloW MaN, I
CooK CRacK
FoR tHe Lord'S
NeGleCTeD
UGlY HOBO
StReeTFucKeRS
Hate Me Today, lyrics by Blue Oct
Music
FloyD, RadioheaD, PriesT, Johnny CasH, Scorpians, Metallica (early), JunkhousE, DishwallA, Our Lady PeacE, NicK CavE, ZeP, BlesseD UnioN oF SoulS, CradlE of FiltH, VAST, LinKiN ParK, SysteM oF tHe DoWN, Gene VincenT, Eddie Cochrane, soMe 1950-70's ShiT....
I LikE AnythinG and EverythinG ExcepT StoneS and BeatleS. HateD TheM. HateD TheiR SounD....
SINCE WE'RE TALKING LIFE-ALTERING MELODIC SOUNDS.......
< You can never Run out of FarTs
The price of a fart won't go up
There is no tax on farts
Friends are always willing to share them with you
Farts are available to minors
You can fart underwater
Farts don't leave stains on your fingers or lips
Farts aren't related to bad breath
You don't need an ashtray to fart
Farts won't make you cough.
You can fart on Public Transport
You can fart in bed without fear of falling asleep and burning the house down
You don't need to take your hands off the steering wheel to fart
No body ever tries to bum a fart off you in a bar
Farts don't have Government Health warnings on them
Farts have no affect on unborn Babies
Farts don't have to be lit to be enjoyed
You don't need a pocket to keep your farts in.
There's no anti-farting laws
After a fart there is no butt to dispose of
You can fart while exercising
You get a variety with each fart
Careless farters haven't been known to start brush fires
Movies
MaD MaX, IrreversiblE, ThE SixtH SensE, CannibAL HalocausT, The Professional, Blue Water, MaN HunteR, Hannibal, UnderworlD, BlaiR WitcH, ScaR Face, A TickeT To HeaveN, ThE ChangelinG, I love ForeiGn Films ...BlaH BlaHH What DON'T I lIKe? Erm...I HatE WesternS -iF I HavE To WatcH TherE BetteR BE BloodshED aNd FuCKiNG PromisE!
Television
JerichO, BreaKinG BonaducE, ShowtimeS KINK, LOST, Discovery ChanneL..SadlY, I AlsO EnjoY LiTTlE PeoplE, BiG WorlD
Books
WatershiP DowN,
LorD oF tHe FlieS,
MetaPhysiCal ProSe(Especially JoHn DonnE), AnyTHing By PutliZeR PriZE WinneR RoberT FisK. EverythinG D/s. Euro 1960-70's PoRN. I LiKe DarK DisturbinG ReadS Too.
About me:
People Oft AsK Me:
"Dr. Justeatbeans what KinD Of PorN
SmuT Is GooD SleizE For uS?" And My AnsweR To SucH StudentS RemainS SteadfasT: One CoulD PostulatE, albieT arbitrarilY, ThaT The BesT SmuT Is ReD HOt, aS iF iT wAs BaKeD iN tHe Filthy HeAt Of Satan'S Ass.
MotheR oF ChrisT I reallY reallY reallY (how many really's cAn I UsE PleasE?) Really despise lamb meat!! I WoulD NeveR KisS a MaN wHo EatS LamB...I'd rather KisS the LamB!!! Also, You NeeD tO KnoW I'm Allergic To PenicilliN and BaT-ShiT.
Code For Stolen Video Generated At Dr. Justeatbean's Velvet Coven Laboratories For Burnt Mice Victims.com; Message inspired by disfigured crying mice.
< "Let those with eyes to see and reckoning to understand see the beauty in darkness" - source unknown,like anyone gives a rat's ass anyways
Favorite Thing At The Moment:
I Love My Vibrating Little Toy
Who KneW An OuncE oF VibratinG Plastic could give This Gal ThiS Much JoY. Witness My FingerS aT NighT EdginG Slooowly To My NighT Table DraweR...
Warm SofT FingerS Search OuT Plastic Toy's SleeK HarD FirmnesS to IndulgE SecreT almosT Paganistic CravingS. FoR DeeP WithiN tHe CreamY PristinE FlesH ThaT is "I" LiveS SataN's Whore-MatE, HiS WomaN/ChilD.
Fumbling In tHe AninimitY Of DarkensS, ComplianT FingerS PresS tHe SacreD TefloN 'ON' ButtoN...
...My Fingers Tremble, A PreludE To tHe TremblinG that Soon Shall RacK ThaT SkeletaL Frame That HouseS mY BodY. Nature Will follow suit. DamnatioN Will Be My OXygeN. I press "ON", Knowing My Fate ComeS iN The Moments Ahead....
Satisfaction GuaranteeD, Or Your Money Back.
Oh la la....the Vibrations! SmoOoth, hardest ever silicone.............
Oh la la Le Fucking Lovely ....
My HearT ThunderS. My ToeS CurL, mY BodY ArcS WitH ElectrictY and my Ass SmileS (CorrecT) As I TastE My OwN BloodieD BitteN SwolleN LipS...I SuccumB. To Toy.
LikE An AddicteD JezebeL WhorE...My AnKleS aRe PinneD BehinD My EarlobeS. PlastiC TOY has WhoreD Me. Vibrations RapEd Me...
I HatE My Whoreness. I Love My Whoreness.
I Hate And Love To Have A HamBurger Too.
FoR a SmalL MomenT In Time's InfinitE WhirlpooL , My FlesH WhicH Is ThE UselesSs Bodysuit of MortalitY... and PlastiC, ThaT Non-LivinG CompounD ThaT LastS ForeveR, BotH BecomE ONE.
LikE A HornY, HorrifiC BioniC AppendagE A La Le StepheN KinG NoveL.
I SurrendeR To My PlastiC TOY.
We BecomE One. That's CorrecT. ONE!!.. TogetheR.
JusT Me............Me aNd My
..... iPod....
WhaT DiD U ThinK? Huh? BuncH Of FilthmongerS!
You were wanting vagina Valhalla, or a Vietnam of Genitalia.
Well It EventaullY Had To Happen...I Had To Take A Perfectly Normal Iconic Toy, America's Favorite iPod aNd TeaM It Up WitH the Univers's OtheR FavoritE tOy,
ThosE TeaR DroppeD ShapeD BubbleS ThaT HanG So FirmlY
Off A YounG Man's BacK...The HumaN Ass.
AnywayS, Can't WaiT To HavE You BacK For MorE DepraveD BullshiT aNd PerversioN As We ExplorE tHe FineR
ThingS AbouT iPod and ThaT CenteR of TurbulencE. the VorteX Of Ass.
Who I'd like to meet:
PRIMATIVE SYMBIAN BARBARIC BASTERDS WITH AT LEAST 9 INCHES
Online Now!
