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You may find yourself asking "Who the fuck is Karen Page?" You may also find yourself asking a bunch of other stupid questions too, but let's focus on the first one. Karen Page is a group of five sweaty men who are determined to make you think twice about the state of modern metal music. Drawing influences from literally
every end of the musical spectrum, Karen Page will take you on a musical carnival ride, where what you expect to come next, never happens. With in-your-face
intensity to soulful melodys and sing-a-longs that even your grandparents could hump to, you'll find yourself listening over and over again. Now, becoming the
newest part of the Rotten Records family, KP will be violating all five of your senses with as many shows as they can get their grubby paws on, confusing young
and old alike. So come get a taste for yourself and be prepared to find out what’s publicly acceptable behavior.
We are ALWAYS down for playing shows, whether they're at you're sister's prom, your bar mitzvah, your baby shower, or even your gay uncle's wedding. We don't care.
FOLLOW KAREN PAGE ON
Here is what some people have said about us :-) Send us some feedback and we'll throw it up on the page!
"Karen Page on the other hand, kinda sounded like something that came out of the ass end of a mule on burrito night, and the emo kids floating around doing their ballet added quite a bit to the un-heterosexuality."- Name Kept Anonymous
"In all honest Karen Page, I think your music is demorilizing, and demeaning to the greater Christian economy that is vastly surpassing this valley in ethics and responsibilty, you are the irremovable mole on the music scene in the Ohio Valley, and immediate incarceration should be immediately proceeded with. We are repulsed and disgusted with you and your so called assfart burritocore, and frankly it turns our stomach to see what a mockary you have made of the local scene, you filthy vermin should be executed eastwood style and left naked hanging from a tree, especially jonny. I only wish that cory hadn't of participated in guest vocals for that beautiful ballad on your page, i think we may kick him out for associating himself with scum such as the four members on this page....May God have mercy on your hole's" -Nova Prospect
"The only real way to describe you is if fetal alcohol syndrome met a train wreck, during one of the loudest diarrhea attacks ive ever had, That is Karen Page." -Matt Heaton
"You guys smell like warm kool aid and taint" -Uncle Resse
"The Songs from the Record sound like taking a shit at its best, like when you enjoy taking a shit cause you feel relieved after words. Not like pissing shit outta your asshole...ya know, kinda like what you guys normally sound like.
" -Michael
"The only way I can describe Karen Page is that it sounds like what I believe David Hasselhoff's musical interpretation of the holocaust would sound like. Fully equiped with the grinding sound of the furnaces with guns going off and the scream of the Jew to top things off. All in a sexy german accent. Karen Page is all that is anti-semitic in the musical sense, without even dealing with real Jewish people." -Dave Caldwell
"karen page sounds like all the women ive had sex with collectively laughing at how awful my performance was" -Ryn Rly
"if Borat started a band, it would sound like Karen Page." -Andrew D'Cagna
"karen page sounds like....jamming staplers up an asshole.in a good way though =]love you guys.especially jon doyle.wow. what a hot piece of ass.thanks for last night =]" -Caroline Dougherty
"You guys suck more dick than a New Jersey guido." -Jack Shoudy
"On my part i would have to say Karen Page sounds like 2 rats fucking in a wool sock, with a slight hint of cuddlecore."
- Joey Peach.
"Imagine if Peewee Herman and that guy from the Mad TV logo had a bastard child. He's most certainly gay, and in his anal sexcapades he forgoes the traditional Anal Ease for some good ol' wood grain alcohol and metal shavings. His screams are punctuated with distressing gurgles and gasps for air, as his second favorite pastime is fully inserting a completely erect horse penis down his throat. At this point you're imagining some of the worst sounds and visions and may feel like vomiting, but I assure you: Karen Page is much worse. In fact they often make Satan cry.. like a baby. Fuck you, Karen Page. Fuck you." -Jake The Snake
"People hate Karen Page because they make Anal Cunt sound like BananaRama."
-Sacred Sound Studio
"I hate it."
-Trevor Strnad, The Black Dahlia Murder
"ok listen. ima be honest. karen page fucking sucks ok. you guys might as well quit and split up while youre ahead. you guys make me want to cut myself. you fucking fuck, who names their band karen page. wtf? you guys sound like a ldying lesbian getting choked. matt tmjmjmjskis a bitch" -some 16 year old girl
"If Between the Buried and Me and Every Time I Die were to have sex and have a retard daughter. It would be Karen Page!" -Chris
"Keep begging for shows guys,,,I'm sure someone will hire you to play there backyard party soon. Good Luck" -Five Finger Death Punch
"Karen Page sounds like a shit covered flock of retarded, blind, middle school aged hermaphrodites high on angel dust, that are trying to injure themselves anally with cheap instruments, while someone or something happens to be recording. Here is some advice for you fucking losers, stop breathing." -Mikel Laterza
"Hell must have froze over, because Karen Page got signed."
-Michael
"karen page, need i say more about the earache?"
-Falling Astray
"Every time I listen to you guys, I get flashbacks of the night I got raped by a mule.
Your breakdowns sound like the bastard child taking a shit."
-Love,Summer
"If I have to suffer through one more band that plays semi-hard metal with semi-guttural vocals through half the song and then plays wimpy Creed-like sing-songy crap for the other half, I swear I will pour acid into my ears so that I never have to listen to such confused, mass marketed, generic, hope-to-be-on-the-rock-radio-station, poser music again. In other words, weak ass crap."
-Titanarum
"your music sounds like a picturesque field of bleeding anal cancer. In a word - Beautiful."
-The Veil Between
"Karen Page is earmurder. And guess what? Your ears NEEDED killin'!"
-Meat Bird
"You guys fucking suck...I bet you are all totally into WoW,how bout you boys don your Enchanted Boots of Nargleblathe and ride your level 4 Manstallion to the UnderRealm of my nuts. You guys sound like my farts smell..."
-Brian
FEB 12
TOUR KICKOFF / CD RELEASE PARTY AT YESTERDAYS!
Wheeling, West Virginia
FEB 13
Phantasy Nightclub CD Release Party
Cleveland, Ohio
FEB 14
Alrosa Villa
Columbus, Ohio
FEB 16
Dirty Jacks
Cincinatti, Ohio
FEB 17
The Muse
Nashville, Tennessee
FEB 18
New Daisy
Memphis, Tennessee
FEB 19
Workplay
Birmingham, Alabama
FEB 20
Club Fathom
Chattanooga, Tennessee
FEB 21
Gspot
Greenville, South Carolina
FEB 23
Pourhouse
Raleigh, North Carolina
FEB 24
Jaxx
Springfield, Virginia
FEB 25
Alley Katz
Richmond, Virginia
FEB 26
The Quarter
Baltimore, Maryland
FEB 27
The M Room
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
FEB 28
The Altar Bar
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
MARCH
ROAD TO SXSW TOUR - WITH POLKADOT CADAVER / VAMPIRE MOOSE / IDEAMEN
MAR 12
the Hi-Fi
Lakewood, Ohio
MAR 13
Reggies Rock Club
Chicago, Illinois
MAR 14
Ciceros
St. Louis, Missouri
MAR 16
Jerry&8217;s Bait Shop
Lee&8217;s Summit, Missouri
MAR 17
Eagles Lodge
Wichita, Kansas
MAR 18
The Conservatory
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
MAR 20
The Lucky Lounge
Austin, Texas
MAR 21
Boiler Room
Denton, Texas
MAR 23
Vinos
Little Rock, Arkansas
MAR 24
House of Thor
Memphis, Tennessee
MAR 25
The Muse
Nashville, Tennessee
MAR 26
Bernies
Columbus, Ohio
MAR 27
Yesterdays
Wheeling, West Virginia
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END CODE IN BAND MEMBERS
Influences
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mySpace code tutorials Author:Eileen!-END Custom code in Influences-!
Yes! I am honored....on a different note,the coding on your page seems to be off though. Everything is all jacked up,idk,maybe its my browser...or maybe KP's high levels of uber-suckage are affecting the very core of my computer. naw,its probably my browser.
Thank you so very much for the add love your music and your songs they kick fucking ass and you guys are a fucking awesome Heavy Metal band and thanks agaiin for the add and take care.
PS if its not too much trouble could you please sign my guest book thank you.
hey dudes we are playing with you guys on the 19th we are very happy to be able to share the stage with a really good band....if you can come by and comment us tellin us hi and also please check out our tunes :D
IMAGINE THE FEELING OF KNOWING YOU "MADE IT" IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY
How would that change your life? Or the life of those around you? I'll let you know a secret; one of the main reasons main stream artist's are so successful is they have a great marketing team on their side. That's why you sometimes see "unknown" artist's with way more talent remain an unknown. They don't have a good marketing team working for them.
Marketing is ESSENTIAL in any musicians career and without it they won't be getting too far. You can have the best song in the world, but if you don't have a professional team of marketers out there telling people about it. Nobodies every gonna know about your great song.
THAT'S WHERE WE COME IN
If you are trying to get exposure for your band, live that life you always been wanting, expand your fanbase, GET THOUSANDS OF MUSIC PLAYS, PROFILE VIEWS AND FRIENDS, then this might be the most important message you'll ever read on myspace
(WE DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU!)
(GET THE EXPOSURE YOU NEED AND DESERVE)
What happens when we promote your music page:
1. Increase MySpace Plays 2. Increase Profile Views 3. Increase Friend Count 4. Obtain Higher Chart Rankings 5. Attract New Fans, Promoters 6. Attract, Radio Stations, Record Labels 7. Get recognized by AnR's 8. Get ahead of your competition 9. On the road to achievement
DON'T LET YOUR MUSIC CAREER NEVER TAKE OFF CAUSE YOU DECIDED YOU DIDN'T WANT GOOD MARKETING.
How it works - To get us to promote your music page simply pick one of our marketing packages on our myspace page or website and once your claim is received we will begin marketing your music.
GO TO OUR MYSPACE PAGE OR WEBSITE TO GET STARTED ON A CAREER OF A LIFETIME...DON'T LET THIS OPPORTUNITY PASS YOU BY.
Thank you, Myspace Marketing Done Right www. marketingdoneright. webs. com
yo i just reads your sounds like section and the second response was pretty funny so was the first one we getting the show pretty hyped up better come ready hahahaha
Hey JUst Showin love to your page. Hopeing u do the same.. U maybe do not know me but maybe we can know each other. name is mikey aka Gothic love or Ghost & i also wanna say IM trying to comment all my friends but i have alot of friends so im usein a auto problem =) but if u do not like me then Delete me. Do not like fake peoples. aim me if u wanna chat more.. Aim ANgelboydogz or mikecrazy2004 i also do homo partys so look on my top for my Ent page=) last top add it..
We are a punishing Death Metal powerhouse from Ohio that combines both old-school and tech influences. New Musick in the form of "The Divining Method" is posted on our profile. Please check it out.
Horns up for supporting the brutal underground stuff!!! -Jawz.
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