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So I met this girl at a little lounge in SoHo .... She was badder than and Bonequeesha’s & Bebe’s Kids combined! .... She had all the fellas in the club doing the I’m on the toilet shitting slash DAMN! face (Thats a Good Thing Ladies) .....She was brown skin with a adorable face, pretty hair wit dimples about 5’3 ... 150 pounds ... Phat Ass .... with 24 Double A’s ... But who needs Boobs ... When you got a booty that’ll make Steve Wonder look back... But anyway we started talking on the phone daily ... You know that Super jonesing the kind that makes the cell phone and house phone battery die ... So anyway her phone convo was cool ... I caught myself a few times thinking to myself "Can you please shut the fuck up" but not a lot .... She used send me pics of her poosie daily... different ones .... She was creative like for example ... She had a pic of her poosie covered in Grape Kool AID mix ... I used just be like wow.... In 2 weeks time .... I had 34 maybe 35 pics of her poosie .... and so did my homeboys (Just Kiddin) ...But she was indeed fucking up my Sidekick Tmail memory .... We started chilling a lot going out around the city ....Like a month go by... I still didn’t G.T.D (Get The Draws) and my "Nigga" senses starting to kick in crazy .... A little voice starting telling me "FUCK this bitch .... She never gonna give you the punanny ... She just using you for fast food and laughs Kas" .... But I fought off the voice cause I really believed shorty had potential ... Another week went by and guess what ? She invited me over!!! .... So being the nigga I am ... I started doing push ups and shit .... drinking mad Vitamins Waters ... stretching .... I even put on my tight ass American Apparel undies ....Sprayed my socks wit Cologne and I went out and got me a fresh box of condoms size DKXL (DONKEY KONG XTRA LARGE) all that good stuff ... But anyway I get to her place ... She got Sade "Cherish The Day" playing slowly ..... She cooked MAC & Cheese, Corn on The Cobb, and Fried Chicken .... The chicken could’ve used a little more Adobo and Lawry’s but overall it was a good meal .... So she says "Kasmo you wanna go in my bedroom and watch a movie?" .... What you think I said in reply ? .... So after I said YES! ... We walked in her room ... I instantly seen some big shits flying around ... So my ass took off running the other way thinking they was water bugs ( I grew up in the Hood) ... So after she came and got me from under the kitchen table ... She said "Kasmo you so silly those were butterflies babe" ....Then she told me ... It was her fantasy to make love in room full of Butterflies .... In my head I’m like "Oh no not another Looney Tunes chick please God no!" ... So now I’m laying on her bed watching this movie called "The NOTEBOOK" with about 6 big ass butterflies flying around (PICTURE IT IN YOUR HEAD ITS FUNNY I KNOW) ... After like 10 mins ... I say to myself "I guess she waiting on Kasmo" ... So I hit her with the infamous thigh rub test ... It worked!! in no time we was smooching and then we started Strokey Doking all willy nilly .... I think I even heard one of the male Butterflies say "You Lucky Bastard!! I hate you Kasmo!" I’m too not sure tho ... Anyways the poosie was great it felt like a Jar of hot melted Vaseline .... It was nice & tight not too roomey some chicks poosie feel like you in a mansion wit no furniture ... But hers was tight like the 2nd Bedroom in a Projects apartment .... But anyway after 2 rounds I was done ... My legs felt like warm Spaghetti .... I had a headache ... So I fell asleep .... 3 Hours later I woke up .... I was handcuffed butt naked to the bed .... She wasn’t in the room .... So I yelled "Portia!!!! What the fuck is going on!" ... My dick getting all scared and shit he jumped inside my balls sack ... So now I’m all alone my best friend left me (My DICK) ... She finally stormed in the room all mad and shit and said ... "Nigga you not gon just fuck me and quit me ... If thats what you thought you got another thing coming PAH PAH!!" ... I’m like "What the hell you talking about woman ? ... Take these cuffs off and stop playing girl!! " ... She didn’t say a word back ... She just slapped the living shit outta me POW!! ...My face was on fire and my vision was blurry... Then she said "Shut the fuck up!! and I mean shut the fuck up now!!" ... We was in New York but right then and there I was in a STATE of shock .... Then all of a sudden I heard the tea kettle whistling like a MUTHAFUCKA! .... I’m thinking to myself "I know this bitch not gonna pour that hot ass water on me" ... Then like a fucking psychic she said "I know what you thinking Kasmo Mr.Def Pen and yes I’m about to scorch your punk ass and then I’m going to shoot you" .... I started wiggling my ass off wishing I was The Incredible Hulk so I can break free ...I started getting scared and my tear factory started flowing and I simply asked her "Why you doing this to me ? ... I really like you Portia" .... The tea kettle still whistling like Muthafucka!!! .... Then she said remember Sydney that girl you fucked and ditched last year ? That was my little sister you bitch ass nigga ... Now its payback time! ... Sydney bring that hot ass tea kettle in here ... Sydney walks in rocking a fucking freak-um dress that looks familiar because.... It’s the same dress she had on at that same fucking Lounge I met her sister in (SHAKING MY HEAD) ... So in desperation I said "I swear to god ... If you bitches hurt me ... You will be dead by tomorrow at 4:30" ... Before I can finish my dry ass threat ... She poured that hot ass water on me ... I started yelling my ass off screaming like a white girl in a 80’s horror movie ... Then Portia handed her sister a gun and said "Now Finish this Lil cute muthafucka off girl" .... Sydney took the gun .... smiled... and pointed it at me ... Then all of a sudden ... I hear my boy DUCKETZ voice saying "WAKE UP NIGGA WE GOT SHOW TO DO..... YOU SLEEPING IN THE STUDIO SLOBBING AND SHIT .... WAKE THAT ASS UP!!!" LMAOOOOO! -KasmO HUX www.defpenradio718.com
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