♥Wildflower(:™♥

Nov 20, 2010 I wish there was someone who could just come and sweep me off my feet. Someone to come and save me cuz im falling, Just when I thought I was finally standing strong again, I trip and fall flat on my face. And im angry, Id never thought I could ever be mad at my mom. But i am. Becuz i feel like she left me here on this living hell of a world to suffer. To suffer her death. She left me forever When now is the time i need her most. And i wish she could grab me by the hand a pull me right back up. Im angry becuz me and my family have to celebrate her birthday, And she isnt even here. Im angry becuz I feel like im not even her daughter any more, Becuz how can u be someones child if they arent here to be ur parent? Why is it that u have to loose the person u r closest to? Is that fair? We are only human and can only handle so much. My grandma told me its becuz life here on earth is just a training ground to learn how to be the perfect spirit. Is that true? Is it true that we are here to suffer becuz the more we suffer the stronger our spirit grows? And the wiser we become? Becuz if there is a god and he made it like that, Id like to have to big talk with him. Becuz i think thats bullshit. But my grandma also told me that my mom, Is pure light. She is pure, Healthy, Happy, light. And that us, as mortal humans can only no so much. But now my mom knows all. She knows how life, And heaven work. And that people can choose to come back... And live again. But does that mean we can have a second chance at life? Like trial and error? We live, and make mistakes, And then we just come back and do it all over again. But the big question for me is, Does that make us better people? Does it make us smarter? Do we learn lessons? The more we live, Does that mean the better we get? And the stronger our spirits are? Now i wish i could just pick up the phone and give my mom a call, wherever she is and ask her a million different questions. Did loosing my mom mean im gunna be better at living in myy next life? I have no idea.