Your gentle face and patient smile,
With sadness we recall.
You had a kindly word for each,
And died beloved by all.
The voice is mute and stilled the heart,
That loved us well and true.
Ah, bitter was the trial to part,
From one so good as you.
You are not forgotten loved one,
Nor will you ever be.
As long as life and memory last,
We will remember thee.
We miss you now, Our hearts are sore,
As time goes by we miss you more,
Your loving smile, your gentle face,
No one can take your vacant place.
Music
Children, sleeping.
Snow is softly falling.
Dreams are calling,
Like bells in the distance.
We were dreamers,
Not so long ago.
But one by one, we
All had to grow up.
When it seems the magic slipped away...
We find it all again on Christmas Day.
Believe in what your heart is saying,
Hear the melody that's playing.
There's no time to waste,
There so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
Give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need, if you just believe.
Trains move quickly
To their journey's end.
Destinations...
Are where we begin again.
Ships go sailing,
Far across the sea.
Trusting starlight,
To get where they need to be.
When it seems that we have lost our way...
We find ourselves again on Christmas Day.
Believe in what your heart is saying,
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste,
There so much to celebrate.
Believe in what you feel inside,
And give your dreams the wings to fly.
You have everything you need, if you just Believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe.
If you just believe...just believe...just believe.
Movies
Books
Poem written by Felicia
"Through their eyes"
Dedicated to the brave children fighting for their lives
My body's changing,I'm slowing down,My hair's changing,It's falling out! My thoughts are changing..things seem undone. My life is changing,but im still having fun!The hardest thing is to learn how to cope,but I know in my heart there will always be hope.The wind might blow, the rain might fall,but my friends have taught me to always stand tall.Days seem like months, months seem like years when I think of all the fallen tears.But things can get better, I see that now..I don't know if soon, and I don't know how,but small steps not leaps will help me progress, rather than creating a bigger mess.Life is what we see each dayBut will it always be this way?I'm willing to stay and put up this fight.. for as long as I can, I'll look towards the light.I can change some of the things I do but the question is are you willing to?Cancer might win..but I won't stop..because either way I'll be at the top!
I tried my best to see things through the childrens eyes and points of view, hope you like it!
www.myspace.com/bannersofhope
www.myspacec.om/feefee914
Click here to purchase something from Caylee's store! Caylee was 4 years old when she was diagnosed and died the next night from Leukemia. The goal of Caylee's Hope is to raise money and awareness for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society with the hope that no child will ever have to suffer from this disease.
Caylee was 4 yrs old when she passed and was completely full of life. There was never a bad moment, never a bad memory, except the one where she died.
Caylee comes from the word Katherine, meaning - PURE - and she sure was. All of my children had an upper respitory infection and had been to the doctor's the week prior and put on Zithromax. She was over the cough and on day 7 of the treatment, she got a 99.1 fever(Thursday March 3, 2005,).
She was still acting like a healthy kid. We had been for a field trip to the Fire Station the day before. On Friday, she had begun vomiting. I thought it was a stomach virus. Saturday, she had stopped vomiting, was dry heaving and not keeping anything down, I took her to Healthpoint After Hours Pediatrics. They diagnosed it as a Stomach Virus. I let her sleep Sunday except when she wanted to go to Church, she ate some breakfast, but was tired because of the Promethazine they had given her.
Monday morning she looked worse, we took her to her Pediatrician about 9am. He immediately diagnosed it on sight as Leukemia, Monday, March 7, 2005. We were devastated. He said, "This is not a Death Sentence like it used to be." We took her to the Children's Cancer Center and they aspirated blood from her marrow and diagnosed it as ALL with a 80% chance of survival, this was the initial early diagnosis. The next morning the final results came in and it was not ALL, but AML and now the prognosis was 40% with Chemo and 65% with a Transplant.
My whole world seemed to end at that moment. The Oncologist gave us her road map and said it would mean 10 days of Chemo and then more treatments lasting 2 1/2 years and then she may relapse and need a bone marrow transplant and could eventually die. With 20 years + of experience, they had never seen or expected anything like this. Her WBC was 283,000 and when they started Leukopheresis, a treatment that cleans out all unnecessary white blood cells. Her count came down momentarily to 190,000 and then went back up to 220,000 with an hour left of the treatment. Her heart rate was now at almost 200, they had to put a ventilator in and they explained that we could lose her. They had to resuscitate her twice, 2 minutes and back on Support.
She was not clotting and I was told she probably was not going to make it through the night. I told them to keep trying. I could not fail her. Our priest, Father Rich from St. Catherine's Episcopal Church was there and he said, "The last bit of love you can give her is to let her go." I knew he was right when the bags of blood they were putting in to stabalize her started coming back out. She was bleeding to death, so we had to make a decision to let her go before she did. The Hematologists said that it would be far worse if that happened. I could not bear to do that to her. So, I told them to disconnect her and give her to me. I held her for a long time. I touched her little feet and hands and rubbed her tummy that had hurt so much and kissed her over and over again. I told her that I was so sorry that this happened to her and that I loved being her mommy and that I was lucky to have had that opportunity. She died at 8:13 pm on Tuesday, March 8, 2005.
In November, her class made cards for Thanksgiving. Caylee's card said she wanted to thank Papa for taking her fishing, mommy for buying her things and Jesus for giving her TV. The last thing she said to us just a couple of hours before she passed was, "Papa, I want to watch TV." I want to think that Jesus was standing there telling her whenever she was ready to go home just say it. I think it was her way of saying to us she was ready.
She closed her eyes and did not open them or ever speak again. I truly believe she was already gone.
Two Foundations have been formed, Caylee's Hope Foundation, www.cayleeshope.com raising awareness and money for research into Childhood Cancer causes and cures and the Caylee's Heart Foundation, www.cayleesheart.org benefiting families who have or have lost a child with cancer; touching the hearts of those touched by childhood cancer.
PLEASE GIVE A CHILD THE CHANCE CAYLEE DIDNT HAVE, PLEASE SUPPORT CAYLEES HOPE
Add Our Banners of Hope banner to your page!!!! Right click in the textbox and select all. Copy and paste in your "about me" section!
Add our Heroes project banner to your page.Right click in the textbox and select all. Copy and paste in your "about me" section!
PLEASE ADD CAYLEE'S BANNER TO YOUR PAGE! Right click in the textbox and select all. Copy and paste in your "about me" section!
PLEASE ADD CAYLEE'S BANNER TO YOUR PAGE! Right click in the textbox and select all. Copy and paste in your "about me" section!
PLEASE ADD CAYLEE'S BANNER TO YOUR PAGE! Right click in the textbox and select all. Copy and paste in your "about me" section!
In the garden of trees stands a willow,
A willow that weeps through the years,
Named aptly for heartache and sorrow,
Each leaf represents one more tear.
With grace those leaves blow on soft winds,
To remind of our child gone away;
Yet it reaches its branches toward Heaven,
With the promise we'll see them someday.
It stands in the midst of the storm tossed winds,
A tree with quiet beauty and grace,
Like our hearts it survives through the worst of it all,
And will 'til we see our child's face.
In the garden of trees stands a willow tree,
A willow that weeps through the years;
Just like our child, it's in God's hands,
And like us, sheds countless tears.
When God calls little children to dwell with him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of his love.
For no heartache compares with the death of a loved child,
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold,
So he picks a rosebud, before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them, and so he takes but few,
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to veiw.
Beleiving this is difficult, still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "goodbye".
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind.
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.
God saw you were getting tired, and a cure was not to be, so he put his arms around you and whispered, "Come to me." With tearful eyes I watched you, and saw you pass away. Although I loved you dearly, I could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke my heart to prove to me, He only takes the best
Every where I go, every smile I see I know you are there smilin down on me... Dancin in moon light I know you are free, cause I can see your star shinin down on me. There are times when I look above and beyond... there are times when I feel you smile upon me baby. What I'd give just to hold you close my baby, I'll never forget you baby.... in heaven we will be together again..... My Baby
Here I sit just left to cry. I think of the fun we had and will never die We dream of things that might never come true But the thing that will always be true Is my love for you. Now all I have left to do Is to think and pray that you will rest in peace For you lived your time and very well too We will never speak again But we will always have our place in the sand Where if you are there or not we can always dream together forever!
I know you
The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam
Yes, I know it's true
that visions are seldom all they seem
But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
the way you did once upon a dream
My life without Caylee
Are you feeling an emptiness that you can't explain. You seemed to be having a pretty good day and then all of sudden...there it is again...That horrific hole in your heart that causes your stomach to sink and you need to take a deep breath.
It is life without Caylee!
Do you have a seemingly bottomless pit in your stomach that sparks a rushing sensation through your whole being. It's an inexplicable shudder of longing that, as hard as you try, you just can't describe to anyone. How can you describe something so painful as losing such a wonderful child and having to live your life everyday without her. Having to take every breath knowing you won't see her when you get home. You want get a hug. You want hear I love you. Not from her..
It is life without Caylee!
Time passes by so quickly without warning, just when you think you are catching up, you remember she is not here and time stands still again. Undeniably, you realize you have to catch up, but know noone understands what is taking you so long. You find you are talking to someone and then, for no reason at all, you think of her and you long to peel back time and return to a safe place where everything was okay. Maybe even make different decisions, say and do different things that might alter the future.
It is life without Caylee!
Are you on your way to work or school (moreover, you are at work or school) and discover your eyes are tear filled. Tears are flowing down your cheeks and you ask yourself, Now, was I thinking about Caylee this very second? I don't think I was. Must've been.
Just didn't realize it.
It is life without Caylee!
Do you feel like you can't talk to anyone about it...all they can think of to say is, You need to move on. Or, Life is for the living and you have to get on with it.
It is life without Caylee!
Or, Caylee is in a better place. She's in heaven. Well, yes, that's true, she is in Heaven. Most days that helps to remember. Other days it does not. Worst of all, there are those people who just don't say anything and never bring her up at all. That feels just as painful as talking about her for those of you who think it does not.
It is life without Caylee!
Or maybe you feel like other people are forgetting what a great child she was. Forgetting that she lived. What a great big sister and creative child she was. How sensitive and caring she was toward other people and animals. How cute she was with her big smile, enormous eyes and personality that would make your heart melt. What an extremist She was in everything She did or said. The degree of potential that this amazing child had to offer our world with that incredible imagination of hers...that got cut short way too soon.
It is life without Caylee!
I guess other people say things (or don't say anything) because the fact of the matter is, they don't have the ability to make us feel better and they know it. In fact, we know it.
It is life without Caylee!
Time?, the adage goes, a great healer. It may have softened the shock and slightened the fear. The daily tide of tears is ebbing. Undefinable anger is curbed...and all that stuff, yeah...Time does help, but it does not heal, how could time replace HER.
I despise the cliche, time heals all wounds? For those of us who have lost a child, a Caylee, does time really heal all wounds? I do not believe that there is a timeframe that defines when I will feel better or when you will feel better or one that says we will. I reject conformation to what someone else decides as the right amount of time for me and when I should be over it by now. Forget about it. Please.. When I'm missing Caylee the most, I refuse to just keep busy with meaningless tasks and endless chores. Because at the end of the day all I accomplish is a headache. My heart remains as broken as it was at 8:13pm when she passed over on March 8, 2005. The same moment that a part of me died.
It is life without Caylee!
The fact is...I don't want to get over Caylee and I won't.
That said, I do not mean to say it's acceptable to tumble downward in an endless spiral of despair, and eventualy crash-land on the bottom and remain stuck there wallowing in pitiful misery looking for someone else to commiserate with. That seems pretty unhealthy. I won't do that either.
To miss does not mean we won't build new relationships. We just won't replace our old ones, not the ones that we lost when our children died.
To mourn does not mean to wallow in the past? Blessed are those who mourn, they shall be comforted. Clearly there was a reason for this to end up in the most protected and honored book ever.
To remember does not mean to dwell over and commiserate. Memories, pictures and stories shape our past, strengthen our present and build our future, regardless of the tears they bring, they also bring joy.
Finally, If you imagine her, she will be there and that makes me smile. How could anyone not smile at her life and be sad at her loss. She is my child, my first breath, my pain is deeper than anyone will ever know - because she was mine.
I will be with her again, but for now,
This is my life without Caylee!
Godspeed to Caylee
- Dawn (Caylee's mother)
I found a similar entry on a website .. and identified with this so much that I had to rewrite it in my own words..
^click
Caylee's mom has promised this for Caylee
September 3rd, 2000 the day the world was blessed with Caylee
From this moment (also the song on the page)
(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything
and everything and I will always care. Through weakness
and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.)
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on
March 8th, 2005
the day Caylee wen't home
..
THANK YOU:
KENNY CHESNEY..THANK YOU FOR WEARING CAYLEE'S WRIST BANDS!
There was never a bad moment, never a bad memory except the one where she died..
Marty Rogers
Felicia created this memorial pagein rememebrence of Caylee Marie Cepero, if you would like a page made for you try contacting her by going to her page.
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~remembering this precious angel on her Heavenly Birthday~ALL of Heaven is celebrating you today sweet Caylee~love always ConnieJo and little angel Skylar~Jade
