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Keith Lowell Jensen
Female / Musical Comedy / Stand-Up
CD Recording, Luna’s April 17th, 18th, www.RockAss.net

Male
37 years old
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA
United States



Last Login: 7/4/2009
Mood: amorous Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Keith Lowell Jensen

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   Keith Lowell Jensen's Comedian Bio
BioI am The Atheist on The Coexist? Comedy Tour. Please come see us.

My film Why Lie I Need A Drink, a documentary on the myth of the affluent panhandler should be playing on a screen of some size in your area soon.

Watch for "The Atheist Survival Guide; A humorous guide to getting by in a God fearing world" coming soon.
WebsiteRockAss.net
InfluencesFrancois Fly, The Unknown Comic, Andy Kaufman,Woody Allen, Steve Martin, Lenny Bruce, Emo Phillips, Geeky Guy, Bob Newhart, All In The Family, The Simpsons, lots more.
MembersPestilence, Famine, War and Death
TV ShowsManswers
I was featured on Spike TV’s show Manswers. It was a segment on panhandling. Watch it here.

Moral Court
Patrick Skiffington and I sued each other over a Partridge Family Album, it was "A Bag Full of Hits" if you must know. Read all about it here.

Talk Soup
We made such fools of ourselves on Moral Court, they played a clip of us on Talk Soup.

Local Trash/Underground Sounds
And I hosted a cable access show when I was 15 called Local Trash. I had HUGE hair. I’ll try to get some clips up, it’s a riot.
FilmsIn the Sean Penn film, The Assasination of Richard Nixon I can be seen being shoved by Penn as he runs aboard an airplane with a gun.

I've done lots of film work with Bob Moricz, including a music video for the band Xiu Xiu which was distributed as part of their last CD, all over the world.
AlbumsTo The Moon... Live at Luna's Coming July 2009

    Keith Lowell Jensen's Interests
General10 Reasons Why KLJ Rocks Ass

1. If Keith Lowell Jensen invented Kung-Fu it'd be called Keith-Fu. Though actually, if Kung-Fu didn't exist yet the Fu part would make no sense, so it'd probably be called Keith's Great Ass Kicking Technique.

2. Guns don't kill Keith Lowell Jensen, existential angst does, or Ulcerative Colitis does, or maybe the drugs that are prescribed to treat the Ulcerative Colitis do it, or maybe a gun after all but only if it gets to him soon, before that other stuff.

3. If Keith Lowell Jensen were a president he'd be Keith-adoor Roosevilt, or maybe John F. Keith-edy, but probably he'd keep his own name, because it's Keith Lowell Jensen, and that rocks.

4. Keith Lowell Jensen isn't the Lizard King, but he CAN do anything, or at least a great number of things, too many in fact to list in one post. He can a) Stand on his head. b) The robot c) Eat soup while watching television d) never mind, too many things to list. I told you.

5. If Keith Lowell Jensen were a rooster he'd say cock-a-doodle-death.

6. Terrorists have never attacked an American City after Keith Lowell Jensen visited it, except for New York and Oklahoma City, but in both cases it was a long time after Keith visited and they couldn't possibly had known he'd been there. The overwhelming majority of cities that Keith has visited have never been attacked by terrorists.

7. Keith Lowell Jensen is so straight that if he had sex with a man he still wouldn't be gay, the other guy would be a woman trapped in a dude's body. No, seriously.

8. The only reason you'd ever beat Keith Lowell Jensen at chess on the internet is if he was distracted by watching 15 second clips of amateur porno and even then you'd better be a fairly decent chess player, or the porn had better be above average porn. And it would be straight porn, because as I've made perfectly clear Keith Lowell Jensen aint gay!

8. Keith Lowell Jensen, who isn't gay, doesn't make mistakes in numbering. If you think he did, you'd better learn a new numbering system, or else just don't worry about it. Dang, it's really not a big deal. Get a life Mr. Mathematician.

9. Keith Lowell Jensen doesn't have to go to ten. He's not gonna let some dumb numbering gag cause him to write an extra joke. In fact he'll use it to cop out of the last joke. Ha ha. (Not Gay!!!)

MusicThe Beach Boys, The Boredoms, Big Star and other bands, some not starting with the letter B.
MoviesHair Spray, Female Troubles, all John Waters' films. Bucket of Blood, Weather Girl, Yojimbo, The Wild Bunch, Mars Attacks, Modern Times, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, The Jerk, Dead Man, Down By Law, Night Of The Living Dead, The Bad Seed, Akira, The Blues Brothers, The Great Dictator, Duck Soup, Zelig, Radio Days, Annie Hall, Cool Hand Luke.
TelevisionAll In The Family, The Simpsons, Futurama, Soap, The Muppet Show, Taxi, 1st season SNL, Faulty Towers, League Of Gentlemen, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Sanford and Son.
BooksThe Last Laugh by Phil Berger, Ham On Rye by Charles Bukowski, Narcicuss and Goldmund by Hesse, The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera, Without Feathers by Woody Allen, The Old Man and The Sea by Ernest Hemingway.
Heroes
Get this video and more at MySpace.com
Bill Gaines, John Waters, Harpo Marx, Andy Kaufman, Lenny Bruce, Michael Moore, Ghandi, MLK Jr, Iggy Stooge, Brian Wilson. Charlie Chaplin, Charles Shultz, Socrates.
Groups: Sacto, DowntownICBINC fansCalifornia Horror HostsCinema Insomniasacramento CreATiVe NeTwORkSacramento Music & Art Support PageJolly Rimmers Unite!Sacramento Underground

View All Keith Lowell Jensen's Groups

     Keith Lowell Jensen's Details
Status:Married
Here for:Friends
Hometown:Sacramento
Religion:Atheist
Zodiac Sign:Pisces
Smoke / Drink:No / No
Children:Someday


Keith Lowell Jensen's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 6 Total Plays: 4708 Plays Today: 1
Atheist Comedian on Prayer In Schools
Atheist Comedian on Prayer In Schools rating
More Goofing on Religion
More Goofing on Religion rating
Goofing on Religions
Goofing on Religions rating
On Spike TV's Manswers
On Spike TV's Manswers rating
Atheist Comedian 2
Atheist Comedian 2 rating
Atheist Comedian
Atheist Comedian rating
 

   Upcoming Gigs
Aug 5 2009 8:00P
The Purple Onion San Francisco CA
Sep 3 2009 8:00P
Punch Line Sacramento Sacramento CA
Sep 4 2009 8:00P
Punch Line Sacramento Sacramento CA
Sep 5 2009 8:00P
Punch Line Sacramento Sacramento CA
Sep 5 2009 10:00P
Punch Line Sacramento Sacramento CA
Sep 6 2009 8:00P
Punch Line Sacramento Sacramento CA
Sep 6 2009 10:00P
Punch Line Sacramento Sacramento CA

Keith Lowell Jensen's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Atheist Church July 4th, 2009 One Nation Under God  (view more)

Coexist Comedy at SF Comedy College  (view more)

Rapture Letters  (view more)

Sarkozy Wears a Burqa  (view more)

Obama and The Iranian Election  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Keith Lowell Jensen's Blurbs
About me:





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   Keith Lowell Jensen's Friend Space (Top 24)
Keith Lowell Jensen has 1340 friends.
 Bryna 


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 I Can't Believe It's Not Comedy 


 Coexist? Comedy 


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 SMOOOT VALLEY HIGH 


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Online Now!
 james 


 -EeP- 


 eMerly 


 ♫ Lid ee uh ♫ 


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 Isa 


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 TrulyAwfulStuff.com 


 Jonathan Morken Apprehensive Films 


 Sid 


 Alfred E. Neuman 


 Sea Monkey 





Keith Lowell Jensen's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 647 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Cinemaniac





Jul 4 2009 6:48 AM

This comment was sent by your friend via the Green Spot app. To block this app and all communications from it, click Here.


-------------------------------------------

Hey Keith Lowell Jensen,
I left you a gift. Click and pick it up.
COME JOIN MY TEAM ON GREENSPOT.

Yellow Ape Productions





Jul 3 2009 4:41 AM

Thanks for the add
and supporting real independent film!

YELLOW APE PRODUCTIONS
Movies for the Midnight Hour

Please support the cause -

Visit
www.yellowape.net
buy a DVD
of GRAVE DANGER or
WITCHMASTER GENERAL
starring Phil Lewis of L.A. Guns
Suzi Lorraine and
Playboy Playmate Colleen Marie

Help keep the Apes Yellow!

Warning: These films do contain
profanity, graphic violence, and nudity

Jim Haggerty's Grave Danger




Jim Haggerty's WITCHMASTER GENERAL with Phil Lewis of L.A. Guns

Flower Vato





Jun 30 2009 9:05 PM

sorry dude
UnderGlorified





Jun 25 2009 9:06 PM

North Sac @ the fire escape FRIDAY!!!

June 26th

South Sac @ Hellbent MC SATURDAY!!!

June 27th
Käse-Phil





Jun 17 2009 4:59 PM

Hey,
i found you on youtube and i really like your comedy :) im not sure about the "is there a god" question and once called myself an athiest after reading richard dawkins.. "The God Delusion". in my opinion, you have lots of good arguments and i really like your athiest church... nice point of view :)
i would really love to see you live one day, but that could be a little difficould, because i come from germany.. ;) but if you ever go to germany or near there, let me know ;)

phil
OdysMod





Jun 14 2009 12:33 PM

"Two new tracks(Samples) by Echo Pan (aka OdysMod & Anna Stereo), who grow electronic wings and give breath to our Wishes and Dreamy Realities!

1. Time-Change
2. Clock Wind

Gigs to take place at the ATHENS FRINGE FESTIVAL (
June 16th 2009 - Greece) & PORTELLO RIVER FESTIVAL (July 2nd 2009 - Italy)"
Anthony Marr





Jun 12 2009 3:51 PM

Dr. Peter Carter will be Anthony Marr's guest on Animal Voices June 12 Friday 3-4pm EST/noon-1pm PST - online-live www.coopradio.org; hot-line 604-684-7561. Peter is Anthony's co-author:
Photobucket

Angi Metler, president of the New Jersey Animal Rights Alliance (NJARA), leading anti-huntress whom hunters refer to as a "domestic terrorist", will be Anthony's guest June 19 Friday same time. Angi is in green:
Photobucket
The hunters' version:
Photobucket

Feel free to call-in during the show: 604-684-7561

Anthony
Shad Os





Jun 8 2009 7:05 AM

This is just one of the many sign of the end! :)
Photobucket
John Everson





May 29 2009 12:36 AM

Hi! Just wanted to make sure all my friends know that my 2nd horror novel SACRIFICE is now in stores everywhere, including Amazon.com! I hope you'll check out this debauched and demonic horror ride! Here are a couple reviews it's gotten so far:

“SACRIFICE is a full frontal assault on your senses. It is a dark, brutal, bloody and terribly frightening book. Everson went deep into some dark abyss to bring this book to the light of day.... I highly recommend SACRIFICE.”
—Famous Monsters of Filmland

“John Everson manages in SACRIFICE to dispense buckets of blood, provide edgy perversity, and walk the tenuous tightrope of horror and sex without falling: It’s rather an amazing feat.” –Hell Notes
Cold Crush Kids





May 28 2009 4:58 AM

TIESTO IN SACRAMENTO

the Largest DANCE Party with the Biggest DJ in the WORLD! in Sacramento..its for real

CLICK HERE and go to Mase Rad's Crush VIP Entertainment Page TO GET YOUR TICKETS!!



Hosted by Mase Rad and CrushVIP.com
Will MURDA





May 24 2009 6:45 PM

Gay people getting married huh. Interesting topic. I liked the video =]
Anthony Marr





May 23 2009 4:33 PM

A gift of human purpose and destiny. Enjoy.
The MEANING of LIFE for Atheists - by Anthony Marr

UC Berkeley: Biology, Dr. Richard Holms: ... truly deserves the name OMNI-SCIENCE... great depth... Astrophysics, Dr. Marc Davis: ... a forward- looking moral framework... an important contribution... Anthropology, Dr. Tim White: ... Anthony Marr's synthesis is formidable. Paleontology, Prof Carole Hickman: an extraordinary intellectual undertaking... a bold and eclectic piece of scholarship... Zoology, Dr. Richard Strohman: ... original...thoroughly logical...might indeed fill a large gap in the way we think... Institute of Human Origins, Dr. William Kimbel: ... a profound contribution... implications of great depth and breadth for the future course of human actions... too important to ignore.. Stanford U: Sociology, Dr. Alex Inkeles: ... impressed me not only with the quality of his presentation, but also the quality of his thinking... Philosophy, Dr. John Dupre: ... a highly intelligent, thoughtful man... extremely intriguing and provocative... Astrophysics, Dr. Vahe Petrosian: fascinated... very ambitious task... a beautiful synthesis... captivating... of interest not only to experts but to all thinking people of th
Armed Forces Radio





May 20 2009 5:14 AM

you are chimichanga!
Becca





May 20 2009 2:55 AM

It was so good to see you today! I am still full from that sushi, eight hours later. Never again will I doubt the bulk of Japanese food.
Diciembre Gris





May 14 2009 7:30 AM

Sammies
Cold Crush Kids





May 12 2009 8:26 AM

TIESTO TIESO TIESTO!!

For the First Time ever in Sacramento!!

CLICK HERE to purchase your tickets, link to Ticket Website on CrushVIP..com



Cheri March





May 7 2009 8:29 PM

so nice to unexpectidly bump into your funny ass last night :) at least i made it in time for the marijuana joke ~
JOUIS


Online Now!


May 7 2009 3:35 PM

Hello!

Cheers for accepting the add!
Hope you like the tunes and such.

How do you do?

Love Jouis
xxx
BRAINS





May 1 2009 8:46 AM

Check out the Hot Zombie Chicks Love BrAiNs Comic Book Tour Featuring:

Anthony Leano & Paul Allen- BrAiNs(www.myspace.com/brainscomic)

Mike Hampton- Hot Zombie Chicks(www.916halo.com)

Stephen R Buell- Alien Echo(www.stephenrbuell.com)

Emonic(www.emonic.net)

May 2nd A-1 Comics Sacramento CA(www.a-1comics.com)

May 8th Comic Relief Berkeley CA(www.comicrelief.net)

May 15th Illusive Comics Santa Clara CA(www.illusivecomics.com)

May 16-17 Super-Con San Jose CA(www.super-con.com/main.html)

May 29-31 Monsterpalooza Burbank CA(www.rubberroom101.com/monsterpalooza09)

June 6th Empires Comics Vault Sacramento CA(www.empirescv.com)

June 7th Sac-Con Sacramento CA(www.sacramentocomics.com)

June 13th Comic Outpost San Francisco CA(www.comicoutpost.net)

June 27 Bat Comics Chico CA(http://batcomicsandgames.com)
"For my eyes only..." - Jiro





May 1 2009 2:58 AM

Hey! It's me fattyjnl from youtube... and I just wanted to say you sound awesome on the radio...Wish I've could of saw you at the punch line!
=-|Ziggity Zog|-=





Apr 25 2009 2:39 AM

I bet alot of people damn u to hell and I can see you saying "Why thank you thats a nice thing to say" lol you are the best man keep it up.
iYOURSIE





Apr 20 2009 11:35 PM

Reminder: Tues. April 21th - Tues, April 28th... VOTE for Kaamilah to win a chance at perform in a Live Concert at Knott's Berry Farm this May 3rd. Help K believe in her dreams. She needs your support, Thank you Myspace friends. "We Can Do This!" Click the link below to view contestants video entries.


http:​/​/​www.​hot923.​com/​pages/​juniorjammers09​/​videos.
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THE HORROR DRUNX™ - Sacramento, Ca. Chapter


Online Now!


Apr 10 2009 11:47 PM

THANKS FOR THE ADD!!!!

THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE OF THE HORROR DRUNX GOES LIVE!

...and the mainstream Horror media just got VERY scared.

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Now all you Monster Boys and Girls have your own Grisleyland, an abusement park of fun to call all your own on the internet, covering the horror community like no other.




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♥ 'Roxanne ♥ '





Apr 9 2009 7:13 PM

Thank you for the add.
Lawn Dart Trio





Mar 29 2009 7:14 PM

Thanks for being our friend!
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