Michael Midnight

You don't have to be way fucking cool to talk to me, but I'm a very busy person and don't have time for idiots.

.. THERE ARE CONDITIONS IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME.
I know you all learned to read in kindergarten.
Utilize that skill...

A. FOREMOST. Don't overlook this, or SO HELP ME, I will make fun of you in public. Don't add me unless 1. I know you or 2. you're some sort of an intellectual that can hold a conversation. B. 1. I'm not looking to CyB3rRz or to hook up with a leet "1nT3rN3t g/f". 2. If you can't type properly, just don't ever talk to me. I'll mock you and you won't get it at first... and then you'll feel really dumb. C. Don't add me if you're a gay boy expecting a quick lay, because that's not going to happen... I don't mean to sound conceited in the least bit, but it happens all the goddamned time. You're gross, I'm particular. Doesn't life just suck? D. Seriously guys. Come on. If we don't have any REAL similar interests (i.e. besides similar music or a fucking t-shirt... really?)... don't waste your time trying to talk to me, because if we have nothing to talk about, there will be no conversation. Finally, and I accentuate this one to the fullest extent possible, E. if you are white trash, and yeah, you KNOW who you are, don't even message me to ASK if you can add me, because I hate your kind and what you represent. Go to hell and stay there, or get some self-respect and join the millennium, chief.

If you're going to send me a message with "fuck you" in the subject line, try to make the body interesting... if anything, base it off more than "what a dick." I'd rather read something with a thought process attached to it; at least then you won't be shrinking down to a class fitting for everyone I listed above. In other words, hate me all you want, as long as you have a reason. If you don't...
.. You're a giant douche!..
On that note, don't even bother sending me failmail if you're located across a big fucking ocean. It makes it harder to spit in your dumb face. Have the decency to at least come to my country and talk shit. That said, send all the hatemail you want. I get a sweet rush from making you feel dumb.

I have a handful of cool fucking friends, and two handfuls of bitter enemies. (I have three hands.) There's no in-between with me. You like me or you don't. In closing...


Fuck your goddamned mother, all of you. <333


Oh, and once again. Fuck a comment,
send me a goddamned message.

P.S. I lied. The only people who shouldn't add me are the ones who take this shit seriously. I get e-mails all of the damned time from people who got a little knot in their chest over my bio. If I've offended you, then my work here is done. Shut up and finish your god damned vegetables...