10. I will not, have not, and can not give two shits about animal rights, except for the right to remain delicious. I love the taste of meat and no amount of you're lecturing will disway me of it.
9. I smoke. I like to smoke. I don't plan on quitting. I will, however, refrain from smoking when (a)in your car (b)in your place of residence (c)you are eating at a restaurant without your explicit verbal consent. Other than that, if you don't like it you can fuck right off.
8. I work hard and I drink hard. I love beer. I drink beer as often as possible. I don't care what you think about that. The only time I ever want to hear any complaint about it is if I'm drunk enough as to where I may think that driving isn't a problem. Then, and ONLY then, I expect you to voice your concerns about the situation.
7. Chances are, if you hang out with me enough I will seriously piss you off while drunk. I probably don't mean anything by it. I'm most likely just having fun. But keep in mind, even though my actions completely lack any malicious intent, I will most likely not really feel that sorry about it the next morning because it will still be kind of funny to me. Having said that, don't expect an apology.
6. Even if not mocking you, you probably still will find my sense of humor offensive, in which case you can go jam a cat up your ass and fuck your grandma. Good times.
5. I spend most of my week living in a hotel. My time spent with others is limited to the weekends. It is vital to me that should I decide to spend that time with you, make it worth my while. I hate wasting my weekends.
4. I like my rock n' roll pure and simple. If music gets too complicated, too whiny, or just too damn boring I lose all interest. If you think your music might fit one of those classifications I don't want to hear it.
3. I fucking hate being lectured. You can believe whatever you want, and I'm cool with that, but the minute you start telling me how I should be living my life you become a nuissance. If you ask me about my beliefs, I will happily tell you, and I expect you to do the same should I ask. Don't count on that happening.
2. If I don't know you, chances are I don't really want to know you. If for some idiotic reason you want to get to know me, then get to know my friends. Eventually, you will probably grow on me. Shortcut: get me drunk, keep me amused, and get me talking.
1. The previous enumerated ramblings are the very elements of me that I love the most. They are either your reasons to love me or to hate me. I will not change for anybody, so deal with it or find some other ass-hat to bother...
