King Uszniewicz (pronounced 'You-Sneb-Bitch') & The Uszniewicztones: lame, out-of-tune vocals (delivered with 3rd-rate Elvis imitator enthusiasm by tenor saxophonist/bandleader Ernie 'King' Uszniewicz, occasionally 'helped' by lead guitarist 'Logjam Lurch' Patterson, who was only worse), horrid two and three note sax & guitar solos, flagrant disregard for tempo or even remotely keeping their instruments in tune, with every song in their repertoire being played in the same monotonous key of E natural. Either these guys were drunk, stoned, both & just didn't care or they were just 'having a bad night' or - could it be?- THEY REALLY SOUNDED LIKE THIS!! King Uszniewicz and his Uszniewicztones were undoubtedly, THE WORST BAND I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE. See if you don't agree. Every song in his repertoire was played in the key of E, the only key Ernie knew how to sing and blow his three note sax solos in. He used his sax to direct the band,... honking a stray note right in the middle of his vocals to get the band back on course toward the proper chord changes. Ernie always knew what he was trying to play in his own mind (the solo on "The Birds & The Bees", for instance), even if the results coming out of his horn were another matter entirely. His singing was always passionate and involved, especially when he strained his voice to hit notes that were totally out of his range. Ernie always liked a big finish. He based his entire delivery around embellishing everything he ever heard Elvis do except the singing on key part. If Presley hiccuped, Ernie hiccuped as loud and as often as he could. If Elvis took a deep sexy breath, then King U. tried to sound like a vacuum cleaner in heat. The actual lyrics to a song didn't really matter much to Ernie. He would sing as much of it as he could remember and make the rest up as he went along. If Sid Vicious had heard lead guitarist Lurch Patterson's version of "If I Had A Hammer", it probably would have scared him straight.
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DECEMBER 6:TH – NEW RELEASE-THE BARBWIRES - SEARIDER (Wild Records) 2008
A year ago, that is to say november 23:d 2007 Me, Kalle Fornia & J.R went into the studio for the
first time in seven years. We then made the first sessions for the new album called Searider that I
now 12 month later, finally got in my hand.
Well I..m more than happy with the result. And some of our friends who got their hands on a pre-copy
said som nice things about it:
"This refreshing collection of surf instrumentals explores territory apart from most
other genre releases 'Searider' is wonderful ear candy" John Blair/Jon & the Nightriders ”The Barbwires “Searider” album is an emotional roller coaster! I laughed, I cried, I cheered, I got angry, I got happy, I screamed, I got hungry and most
importantly I Got Drunk!!!! I Love it!!!” Luis/ Luis & the Wildfires
Well you should check for yourself. December the 6. th is the official date of release and that cause for celebration.
If you..re in Stockholm, Sweden, welcome to our releaseparty
more info: www. myspace. com/thebarbwires If not please visit our myspacepage on the 6:th, were we will put up a new song from the album. And tell us what you think.
ENTRADAS A LA VENTA EN: TICKETS ON SALE NOW AT: www. funtasticdraculacarnival. com AFORO LIMITADO, 800 PERSONAS, CORRE LA VOZ!! CAPICITY LIMITED TO 800 PEOPLE!! PLEASE, SPREAD THE WORD!!
Aye up … just to keep you in the loop we are about to change line up shortly we have secured a female vocalist and we are trying out for a new bass player shortly. Stay in touch and let us know what you think as soon as we have the new members up. Its all cool our bass player/vocalist is going on to University… Don’t worry we aint going nowhere haha we will be back shortly … thanks for the support … hope to see you soon at a gig near you
We have a band mobile number now so if your bored and wanna txt us feel free its all cool the number is 07530 487447 its only a pay as you go so if it takes a while for us to respond don’t worry about it
Anyways I wont clog up your message board any more than I have to
