Because woman's work is underpaid or unpaid & what we look like is more important than what we do & if we get raped it is our fault & if we love women it's because we can't get a real man & if we expect community care for our family we are selfish & if we stand up for our rights we are loud & if we don't we are typical weak females & if we want to get married we are out to trap a man & if we don't we are unnatural & because we aren't deemed responsible enough to decide if, when and how we give birth... WE ARE FEMINISTS.
-Joyce Stevens, 1975
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*LIFE ACCORDING TO KRISTEN*
*The terms "scream like a girl" or "hit like a girl" should be nothing but a compliment. Because every girl I know will put the grunty-est all-dude grindcore band to shame with their screams when provoked; and when we hit, not only will we put you on the ground, but then we'll go after you with our nails and high-heels. Tread lightly when using those phrases, boys.
*When approached by religious zealots on the street inquiring as to whether or not I have accepted jesus as my savior, I throw my arms around them and scream at the top of my lungs "THANK YOU LORD! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR MESSENGERS TO FIND ME AND LEAD ME TO YOUR PROMISED LAND!!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!!!". (this works best if you can make yourself cry).
*If I see one more image of a "punk chick" with a gun, I'm going to shove a knife in my throat.
*The only people who wear sweatpants/pajamas in public are either insane or "mentally challenged".
*Everything should be pink with scalloped edges... and preferably on a chicken.
*Please don't be offended if I don't remember your name after meeting you multiple times. I never remember anyone's name. I called my son one of the cat's names the other day... so be patient with me.
*There is no excuse for "flip-flops" to be worn anywhere except in a YMCA shower or locker room. These are not a socially acceptable shoe. Stop wearing them now.
*For the fellas out there who like to walk around without a shirt on... knock it off. Seriously. I don't care what kind of shape you're in... noone is impressed. Put your fucking clothes back on, dumbass. You're creeping us all out with your narcisistic schenanigans.
*I don't understand girls who "don't get along with other girls".
*I can never seem to get my house as clean as I'd like it to be, and it makes me lay on the floor and scream at the top of my lungs for my mom.
*I cannot help but immediatly dislike you if I see you putting clothing on your dog. This is something I have no control over... you will have to work very hard to earn back my respect. (and I am aware that this is a total contradiction because my cat has a myspace profile... but I just don't care)
*I never never ever appreciate unannounced guests. I don't care who you are.
*If you are a "dude" that I haven't already accepted into my world, and you see me at a bar- know that if you approach me, I will publically destroy you, and I will do it as loudly as possible. I don't get out often, and it certainly isn't to shag you.
*If you are a "dude" that I haven't already accepted into my world, and you send me some vile asshole message filled with sexual insinuations... I will post it so everyone can laugh at you, and contact you to tell you how small your penis is, and how you must be AMAZINGLY pathetic to try to pick up chicks on an ON LINE COMMUNITY. We will all talk about you being a social retard, and how your only friend is your mom, and you have probably never even seen a girl naked except for the cheezy porn you have saved on your computer. But girls can write me whatever they want. Girls tend to not be predatory douchebags.
Music
The song "Coward of the County" by Kenny Rogers makes me teary eyed every time I hear it.
And Neil Diamond is more God-like than God.
... yes, I am completely serious.
and i like music made by ladies who scream. and music made by ladies who talk about feminism. and music made by ladies who talk about empowerment. and music made by ladies who talk about positive change. and music made by ladies who are ready to fight for that change. and music made by ladies who yell about hating boys who don't like feminists or female empowerment or positive change.
but i like most anything made by ladies.
period..........................................
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..... and Neil Diamond.
Movies
I love Japanese films involving incest, sodomy with microphones, and rampant lactation. And blood... lots and lots of blood.
But I hate Tarantino movies. All of them. And Kevin Smith movies (they make me want to break things). Or anything that has Ben Affleck in it (I want to break him). I'd really like to break Tom Cruise as well. And I'd really really like to say that I'd like to break Brad Pitt... but he was just too good in the movie "Snatch" for me to hate him (though something in me really really wants to break him).
And movies that digitally alter animals to where it looks like they are talking scare me.
Television
TV gives you cancer and a case of the "retards", and it makes you BOOOORING!!!!!!
but I do like watching videos of people falling down.
Books
"Atlas of Human Anatomy and Surgery: The Complete Coloured Plates of 1831-1854".... this book weighs 15 pounds and is almost 800 pages of full color, hand drawn anatomy and surgery illustrations from back when they didn't know what the hell they were doing...... pure heaven.
Heroes
Ed Asner. Dolly Parton. Roy Clark and Buck Owens. Ian McKaye. And this guy...
(Jeffers, I love you)
University Of Kansas Main Campus
Lawrence, KANSAS
Graduated: 2002
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Fine Arts/ Printmaking
Clubs: Intaglio Club... life member
About me: WWW.KRISTENFERRELL.COM
Total inbred hick; born to wild teenagers on the run; raised by farmers and school teachers in Kansas, but now live in the bizarre land of Southern California; spent time in a juvanile delinquency home for a couple of years in Branson, MO (and real hillbillies aren't as cute or funny as the "Clampets"); been married a couple of times- and yes, one of them was shotgun style; still have all my teeth; i love cats; i hate dogs; i make silly pictures that upset my mom; i make silly shirts and clothing with those silly pictures. And my kid is so much cooler than you could ever be.
I don't believe in punks, or hippies, or goths, or any of the trite "counter-culture" labels that society has put on people so that we can be grouped together and dismissed. All there is that matters anymore is politics, art, and activism. Everything else is fashion and filler. Participate, or go watch TV and get the fuck out of our way.
********************************************************** And PLEASE DO NOT bother trying to add me if you are some guy who's "buddies list" is riddled with strippers, porn stars, and half naked chicks. I don't care how arty or "progressive" you THINK you are. It SERIOUSLY gives me the willies, and I try to avoid guys like you at all costs. Noone likes a jock in sheep's clothing, and your "uncle bad touch" ways of life make me feel all dirty and gross. As much as I LOVE to make boys like you feel as stupid and pathetic as we all know you are, I really don't have the time for it. Girls were not put on this planet to collect like trading cards. Get a fucking life.... and don't say you haven't been warned.
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Cheers my friend. Just passing to wish you a great day. Sharing a cold one with your friends is some of the most fun you can have with you pants on !!! "Fear no beer" and always, Rock Hard... Timo kaarkoski - Temple of Sin
Happy Friday the 13th! Whatever that means... I have a new song premiere video for your page... A nice little violence-condoning song called "Savage Rivalry". Because that's life. :: Andrew of Common Dead :: 1-man thrash assault :: ..
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