
Once upon a barren death filled town of Hatekilldeth, Sweden, two demon spawns of Satan were born of the fires of hell. One was branded with the letters, "R. D. M. G." on his back, which some people think stands for "Random Death Metal Guy" and the other "R. S. B. G." which some people think stands for "Random Screaming Background Guy". The two evil beings had white and black faces just like most Black Metal bands, but they were different because it was not face paint, but their actual skin. These two abominations were also somehow born 6 years apart on the same day of the same year.
Through the ages they matured and were given the names Ardy Emgee and Aress Begee. They were sent to America and cast from foster home to foster home untill Aress became 18. Aress soon took custody of Ardy and they both got a jobs on the children's TV show, Sesame Street in which Aress did the movements and Ardy provided the voice for the character "Cookie Monster" (who later became the mascot for their future plague metal band "KrotchRaut").
After two weeks of "Sesame Street", Aress and Ardy were fired for reasons such as, "being to hardcore, or kvlt", "destroying children that did not provide cookies" and "eating elmo's arm". The two hell spawn seeked refuge under a loading truck at the local WalMart. They had to resort to the Petrucci ways of feeding on (rotten) potatoes and small mammals. When Ardy became 16 and Aress was 23 they were told by their estranged father, Satan to make the human race crumble to the ground with the most terrible noise they could possibly make. So Aress and Ardy forged musical instruments out of pure boredum and bird and mice spines.
Aress and Ardy soon completed their first song "'C' Is For Cookie" which was homage to their former careers. They recorded the track on an old tape recorder they found lodged in some homeless guy's face. After some remixing with the power of Satan and additional instruments by two famous killers (Bah Gah and Mute Stupid) they sent the tape to Roadrunner Records. All the people that listened to their song at Roadrunner soon fell ill with crotch rot and died of the plauge in a matter of seconds. This inspired the band name "KrotchRaut" and their different genre of music called "Plague" metal, which is a mixture of Black Metal, Death Metal and a hint of Thrash Metal.
Some say even today you can hear them creating their terrible music during dark and stormy, clear nights.
KROTCHRAUT'S YOUTUBE PAGE!
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