Carbuncle is the author of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. Carbuncle’s stories are channeled through a pathetic little man who has to work a respectable job during the days in order to feed the infestation of children in his house.
Signed copies now available at Lancecarbuncle.com. Also available at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and at Haslam's bookstore in St. Petersburg, Florida.
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PRAISE FOR SMASHED, SQUASHED, SPLATTERED, CHEWED, CHUNKED AND SPEWED.
"A charmingly sick odyssey through the friendliest Hell you ever met."
Mykle Hansen- Author of Help! A Bear is Eating Me.
"This is one of the best road books I've ever read. The story is amazing yet somehow believable, the characters are instantly likable. Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is full of dark humor that will make you laugh out loud and grimace simultaneously."
Marcus Eder- Author of Rorschach’s Ribs.
"Carbuncle's debut novel is simply laugh-out-loud funny! It may not be the book you want to give to your conservative grandfather on his birthday, but for the rest it offers a roller-coaster ride of substance abuse and bizarre happenings. Fans of Carl Hiaasen and Hunter S. Thompson will surely love this book."
A.F. Rutzy- Author of End Credits.
"Like On the Road as seen through the prism of a carnival sideshow."
Bradley Sands- Author of It Came from Below the Belt and Editor-in-Chief of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens.
"Seriously f#@*ed up fun! Prepare to be let down by the book you read after it."
Scott Carpenter- Author of Mr. Undesirable
“Wow! That was quite a ride. I feel the need to shower and call my mother, but I'm smiling! ”
Rhonda, Really- Myspace member, Reader, Reviewer, and woman with phobia related to Toby Keith’s giant teeth
"I'd definitely recommend this book. It reads like it was written by an odd bastard child of Jack Black and Christopher Moore. I read it in one sitting. ONCE I STARTED I COULD NOT STOP."
May I Bleed Ink- Myspace member, Reader, Reviewer, an all around cool guy
"[A] modern epic journey that puts Homer's Odyssey to shame. SSSCCaS follows the voyage of one man trying to get back to his canine soul mate, and the interactions he has with those he meets along the way. Snarky, witty, and riotous, leaves you with the feeling of time well spent. Should come with a warning label. CAUTION: Author not responsible for any injury, or loss of dignity incurred while reading in public. Under no circumstances should one eat or drink while reading. Doing so may result in trouble breathing, choking or death."
Artoria-Amazon.com reviewer
"Loved it can't wait for the next one! Smashed Squashed Splattered Chewed Chunked and Spewed is the best book I have read in a while... I laughed and went through the book in record speed. The book itself keeps you spellbound and its very hard to put down. I recommend it highly. Definitely check out Lance Carbuncle the man is a genius and I cant wait until the next book!"
Terrapin-Station- Myspace member, Reader, Reviewer and super-groovy hippie chick
"I read a book called Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed this weekend. Granted it was the first book I have read in quite some time, it was by far the BEST book I have ever read! Everyone needs to check it out... Check it out my peeps!"
P. Rose- Myspace member, Reader, Reviewer and Intelligent Gentleman
"Smashed is the funniest book I have ever read. I couldn't put it down. It has a hilarious cast of characters and even crazier events that are all masterfully wound together. If you have a weird sense of humor BUY THIS BOOK NOW!!!!"
Stephen Simon- Reader, Reviewer and Mixologist Extraordinaire
Often hilarious, always fun, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is a honkin' good time from start to finish. With tons of pop-culture references; dark, twisted humor; and insanely well developed characters; Lance Carbuncle brings home a great first novel. Fans of Christopher Moore, Robert Tacoma, and Tim Dorsey will find joy in Carbuncle's pages. This is one wild and zany (road)trip you won't want to miss!
Citizen Dan- Myspace Reader, Reviewer and Man who craves himself some Grape Drank
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