LAURA PALMER: VOCALS, GUITAR, UNRESOLVED ANGER
LI'L HUNKY ROOKS: DRUMS, VOCALS, BOY SEXINESS
Influences
Sparks, Jonathan Richman, Tiny Tim, Queen, Lee Hazelwood, Loudon Wainwright, Odetta, David Bowie, Kris Kristofferson, Harry Nilsson, the super hits of the seventies, Violent Femmes, Paul Williams, John Prine, T Rex, cocaine, that Ben Folds song about abortion, spite, suffering, Phyllis Diller, vomiting, unicorns, disgraced celebrities, cruisin', Carol Channing, dick, the walk of shame, friendship, Heineken, processed soy, date rapists, mental illness, peppercorn ranch, Satan, baby beauty pageants, Roseanne, and Mother.
Sounds Like
We put the "cunt" in "country music." It's cunt-ageous!
Laura was born in the bathroom of a Bennigan's (RIP) in Joplin, Missouri to a fifteen year old waitress there. Because of her mother's life-threatening addiction to whip-its, she was raised mostly by relatives in Hayburn, Idaho (pop. 942). During a rare vacation to Los Angeles when Laura was seven, she was discovered on the street by a talent scout and started modeling children's swimsuits in various mail-order catalogues. After it was discovered that she could sing, Laura hit the state fair circuit at age nine, once opening for a then disgraced Falco. After a hearbreaking defeat on Star Search to a young Christina Aguileira, Laura returned to Hayburn where she focused on academics and freestyle walking. In high school she was voted Hayburn High's Harvest Queen and excelled in mathematics and gossiping. A Rhodes scholar, Laura received a scholarship to New York University. She intended to major in musical theater but, after finding that "too gay", she switched her major to independent Maoist studies. Laura graduated with Honors and began a lucrative career as a telephone psychic. It was then that Laura began abusing cocaine and virtually any drug she could get her hands on. Following an arrest for conspiracy and extortion in 2001, Laura served a year and a half in a maximum security women's prison in upstate New York. It was there that she started writing music. After her release, she moved to Dallas to focus on songwriting and start a new life. In April of 2006 she married Roy Ivy of the Tah-Dahs. The happy couple now live together in Chicago where both Laura and Roy play live shows, write new music, and do bong rips. In early 2007, drummer and fellow former child actor Li'l Hunky Rooks joined the lineup. Now a two piece, Laura and Rooks have just completed their first record, "Johnny Cashin' In". Laura looks forward to touring and motherhood.
LAURA PALMER: VOCALS, GUITAR, UNRESOLVED ANGER
LI'L HUNKY ROOKS: DRUMS, VOCALS, BOY SEXINESS
