i like ultimate fighting. i like glam rock, punk rock and disco. i get all
excited when somebody else throws a good party and i can just go to it and get
wasted without dj'ing. i like to be around people who aren't douchebags. i'm
from new jersey originally (like morgan geist--yeah you heard me) which should
explain the ultimate fighting stuff and the use of the word "douchebag". i've
lived in new york city since the late 80's when i was still a teenager and most
of you were popping screaming out of your mothers' loins. i was in a new wave
band called the mystery meats when it wasn't "retro" because new wave was new,
and named thusly because of that fact. i played a red bc rich guitar that i
borrowed and a blonde fender 60's musicmaster that i stole, and there lies the
internal conflict that has dominated my life: awesome and horrible red, angular
bc rich guitar or subtle and possibly boring 60's minimal base-level guitar.
i am married to a woman who is way too good-looking and decent to marry me,
but due to a long period of hypnosis, low-level drugging and sleep deprivation,
eventually capitulated. we have a dog that is similarly too good for me. seriously.
the dog is hot. the dog is basically a model. well, more of a pageant girl--but
you know what i mean. she could be a model, but she's pretty backward and country
about fashion... she's into prom dresses and, like, overdone base makeup and
fake nails. but she lives in new york now, and she's changing a little over
time, which i think is liberating for her--the dog, i mean--but i hope she doesn't
change too much and do that annoying new-york-girl thing where they all try
to be edie sedgewick or something--"ooh look at me! i'm crazy! i can't be contained!"
it's an act played by people who don't know anyone who's actually schizophrenic.
knowing real crazy people takes some of the "glamour" out of it for you, you
know? like: what's glamorous about shitting yourself? oh crap. am i supposed
to be writing about me?
US PRESS CONTACT: STEVE MARTIN
phone: 212 343 0740 fax: 212 343 0630
email: steve@nastylittleman.com
address: 110 Greene St. Suite 605, NY,NY 1012
UK PRESS CONTACT: JAMES HOPKINS
(+ 44) 7715612753
lcdhopkins@googlemail.com
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