Some "wise" thoughts include:
If I had known it would take this long to find myself, I wouldn’t have bothered looking. End result didn’t help either.
Orange
Juice. It's not just for screwdrivers anymore.
If you’re going to fall off the wagon, don’t do it face first.
The other day a co-worker asked me to hand her a stapler. I held it out. She didn’t take it. I threw it at her. And I’M the bitch?
Can hermaphrodites impregnate themselves? Answer only if you are the result of such a venture.
Hey you! The guy(s) who write “I’m an awesome guy/gal! Just ask my friends and family!” in the About Me section? I asked them. They all said you’re a douchebag.
Only kids hiding from pedophiles should set their profiles to private. Don’t want me to see it? Don’t post it.
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