PEOPLE SAY THE MOST RANDOM THINGS. ESPECIALLY IN ALTERED MIND STATES. BUT SOMETIMES... JUST NORMALLY. I JUST WRITE THEM DOWN. WELCOME TO MY RANDOM QUOTE BOOK!
"Screw celibacy!" ~Me
Why do you have frozen peas??"
"I'm a porn star." ~Annie
Me: "I hope it doesn't catch on fire." Annie: "If it does I'll pee on it."
"I would smother her in BBQ sauce and work her like a rib." ~Kirk
"On a scale of 1 to me, she's about a 9." ~Megaman Zoolander
"It's like the fucking easy-bake oven of toilets." ~Z on... his toilet
"I need my food not to breathe." ~Me on rare steak
"Next thing I knew I was completely dead." ~Jonas on carbon monoxide poisoning
"Most of them were alive when I let them go." ~Billy on his ant farm
"These panties have whales on them." ~Me on... whale panties.
"See- this is why I hate tomatoes. They're so unpredictable." ~Me
"I'm breaking up with you because I'm dead. ~Annie
"Damn it. This is why I have meat in the back of my car." ~Me
"I think there's still some jack and bud floating around in my head." ~Annie
Shake those boogles! ~Annie trying to say big ol' boobies
"It was 5 seconds. No exaggeration. It was in, it was out, it was in, and it was over." ~Me
"I have this friend... Oh, no, wait a minute- that was a TV show." ~Grant
"Fuck modesty. I was born naked." ~Annie
"No. The door will decapitate him. I'll just laugh." ~Annie
"Don't you tomorrow me. Your dog just puked in my shoe." ~Me
"I'm too sober for this shit." ~Katie
"I need to knock on wood. Anyone have wood back there??" ~Me
Me reading a bottle: "Isopure." Annie:"I not so pure."
"It's like getting your head smashed in with a gold brick wrapped in leather." ~JD
"Kangaroos are the velociraptors of the marsupial world." ~Benny at the zoo.
"Oooh... Labyrinth. I don't know if I can handle David Bowie in tights contact juggling. Does something to me." ~Katie
"You keep telling me to stop, dude. I haven't SAID anything since then!" ~Hoagie
"He makes me cream upon appearance." ~Me on Chris Cornell (YEAH I wish!!)
JD: "I've seen my Kelly naked." Hoagie: "Well, I've seen MY Kelly naked." JD: "But you haven't seen MY Kelly naked."
Me: "It's a flatbar." Z: "No, it's not. It's a churchkey." Me: "Does it open churches??" Z: "Maybe to alcoholics!" Me: "I see your point."
Me: "What's up, Jonas?" Jonas: "Shh... I can't tell you. It's a secret."
"You and I were both referred to as slut puppies today." ~Malachie
"Tell me about rhinociruses all you want, but don't be a cat." ~Annie on the worst blind date EVER!
"You wanna see a big muscle?" ~Nick
"Woo to the oot." ~Katie
"I'll give you my firefly." ~JD
"Just because you're a dumbass doesn't mean it can't be done." ~Malachie
...2 hours later: "So... what are we going to order at white castle?" ~Malachie
"I'm ADD. One minute I'm one way. The next- look! There's a chicken!" ~Ryan
"Your burrito's in a pizza box." ~Annie
Katie: "I want cinnamon rolls." Tony: "Seriously, I'm going to go out and buy another Jenga set, bring it back, and then I'll actually be able to build something." Katie: "Yeah- I still want cinnamon rolls."
"What better way to celebrate our country's independence than by blowing up a small piece of it." ~Chris
Dating & Relationship Advice
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I am... The lead singer of Delirium. A ballroom dance instructor. A novelist. An avid reader. A model. An artistic mind. A good friend.
I am... Blissful. Awestruck by our universe. In love with life. Easily amused. A storyteller. A free mind.
I believe...
In the innate good of humankind.
The journey never ends- It begins this moment.
I am my own sactuary and the only one who can control my happiness. The universe tends to unfold as it should.
"Leave only footprints and take only memories."
| Your Attitude is Better than 90% of the Population |
You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life.
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| Your Theme Song is Groove is in the Heart by Dee-lite |
"We're going to dance
And have some fun"
For you, life should be one huge party...
And even though it's not, you tend to dance your troubles away!
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| You Are A Margarita Martini |
You are a full on partier, with a good deal of sass and spunk.
You're always friendly and welcoming - and very tolerant of obnoxious drunks.
You should never: Drink and dance. The pictures will be everywhere the next morning!
Your ideal party: Is loud, with good music and fun drinking games.
Your drinking soulmates: Those with a Dirty Martini personality
Your drinking rivals: Those with a Classic Martini personality
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