DISCLAIMER::: PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME::
I am an interesting hybrid combination of a sailor and a truck driver. I curse like a champion, I'm just warning you.
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LMMFAO. MALE BIRD OF PARADISE TRIES TO ENTICE A FEMALE....
Why the fuck is this video so fucking funnY???????
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You know what type of artist I am? THE TEMPERAMENTAL KIND. When I was a little girl doing my drawing or whatever, if it didn't come out the way I wanted, I would get so frustrated that I would destroy what I did, crumple it into a little ball with such vengeance you wouldn't believe it. Even now, I find the same tendancies...recently I started flinging paint at a piece of art that I was working so painstakingly hard on. I just went nuts, snapped, and started destroying my work. I don't care if it's hard-board backed, I'll crack that shit right over my knee if I'm in that much of a fit.....crazy fucking artists...RUN WHILE YOU CAN
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Music
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I love all kinds of music. I love everything from BACHATA to ABBA to steel drum Carribean music to Andre Rieu (fuck YOU he's AWESOME) to electro to industrial to metal to disco to Screamin Jay Hawkins to the Mills Brothers to Depeche Mode to Duran Duran to Tchaikovsky to Schumann to KTU music to K-ROCK to Q104.3 to folk music to Violent Femmes to LIVE to.....to 93.1, para musica rrrromantica!!
Movies
NAUGHTY NAUGHTY SPANKING TIME
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The Lady & the Bullfighter - Matadors are crazy hot...
My Dog Skip. Oh. I was literally weeping during this movie...It's a kid's movie but oh well, it hit home with THIS big kid. The Incredible Mrs. Ritchie...there are some really quality movies out there, if I had kids I would watch this movie with them....Mi Familia, awesome movie, shows an early Jennifer Lopez. American Me, very violently real, please, I hope I never end up in jail...Scent of a Woman - "HAH!!"
Last night I watched Million Dollar Baby....wow...wow.. I had a very emotional reaction to this film, moreso than normal for me...what a beautiful film..I can really relate to it as I am "training" with a great mentor as well, someone I really like and respect, as Hillary Swank's character does with Clint Eastwood's "Boss". Even the music haunted me well into that night. I dread the day Mario will leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Lakeview Terrace: now THAT was a scarey fucking movie. About a mentally disturbed LA cop who takes out his anger on his new neighbors by terrorizing them slowly with the law on his side...more scarey than any Freddy Kruger or Jason cho cho ha ha bullshit. This could really happen!!!
Samuel Jackson does a very convincing job of acting fucking crazy, check it out. two thumbs up. You'll be afraid to move anywhere after this.
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I just saw Australia and have decided that I need to go Walkabout with Hugh Jackman man he is fucking FINE....The Grey Zone, The Black Book~~~~~~~ Black Snake Moan - well, that was a strange little movie, that.
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10,000 BC ROCKED, I don't care how corny or cliched it was at times - I would LOVE to be tied to HIS horse--and if you see 10000 BC, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Devil Wears Prada, The Water Horse, Stardust was AWESOME I FUCKIN LOVED IT. March of the Penguins - if you ever want to see me cry, tie me to a chair and make me watch the part where the Daddy Penquin drops the egg, I'll postitively BAWL, I tell ya.
Memoirs of a Geisha (I'm a Water Ox too)
BORAT, HAHAHHAAHH, Falling Down, with Michael Douglas, about the final straw that breaks a man's back...what an AWESOME movie.
Spanglish, a good mother/daughter movie, actually the ending made me cry!
Pan's Labyrinth--Spanish language from Spain is so lyrical and soothing--
GI Jane--you GO girl, although I'm totally jealous.
Monster - best acting I've EVER seen by Theron---
Enough---J Lo can fuckin act.--
Monster's Ball---
Bad Santa---
Willow---
anything Cheech & Chong---
Harold and Kumar Eat Fuckin Whitecastles---
American Pie(s)---
Poison Ivy---
War of the Roses----
Meatballs -are u ready for the summah--
The Secret Garden---
All of Me "Flush!!! Brrrrinnnnnng!!! Flush!!!Brrrring"---
The Three Amigos---
The Incredible Shrinking Woman---
Bram Stoker's Dracula---
Office Space-- did you get that memo?---
Flash Gordon - aaaahaaaaaaaaaaaah---
Star Wars all of them----
Superman all of them---
Beetlejuice----
The Magdalene Sisters---
The Joy Luck Club---
KILL BILL ROCKS---
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun---
Heartbeats---
Karate Kid all of them---
Apocalypto---
The Fountain---
Last of the Mohicans---
9 to 5---
Breakin 1 & 2---
space Balls---
Princess Bride---
Dirty Dancing- yes, and tough shit.--
Terms of Endearment/Steel Magnolias---
Little Miss Sunshine---
Gangs of New York---
Wizard of Oz for sure.---
Waterbabies (half animated, half real movie about 2 kids)--
more to be added--
Television
Ain't got no time for no fuckin TV and it pisses me off.
Ok once I was watching That 70's Show and it was the one where Jessica Simpson was guest starring as Kelso's bimbo girlfriend and they are at a funeral and she starts singing "I haven't got time for the pain". One of the funniest things in that whole series.....
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Another funny shit I saw was on this show called Tough Love. I saw it the other day, one of the girls went into the bathroom and there was a bidet in there next to the toilet but she had no idea what the fuck it was so she's standing right over the bidet and she pushed the "flusher" and shot herself right in the face with bidet water. and the water kept running upwards like a geyser so she like go hides in the corner of the room and one of the others had to come in and shut it off while she cowered in the corner.... I fuckin almost choked on my tongue I was laughing so hard.
Books
I am a BIG reader, I used to be the little geek kid reading dirty romance novels under her covers in the middle of the night with a flashlight for HOURS. What about now? Anything by Sylvia Browne. I find her very soothing. Aesop's Fables, Relativity by Albert Einstein, The Trigger Point Therapy Workbook by Davies & Davies; Mind Into Matter by Fred Alan Wolf ; Trigger Point Therapy for Myofascial Pain (the practice of informed touch) by Donna & Steven Finando; Expect Miracles (audio cd for my long ass commute) by Dr. Joe Vitale; The Law of Attraction 8 cd audio (again, the commute) by Jerry & Esther Hicks; The Prince by Machiavelli, the Princessa, Machiavelli for Women, Clan of the Cave Bears, Reindeer Moon, Acupressure's Potent Points by Michael Reed Gach, Your Body's Many Cries For Water, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense, Palmistry For Beginners, Haircutting for Dummies, Human Resources for Dummies, Alla Prima, an excellent book on oil painting techniques, FABULOUS READ. Tarot Reading for Beginners, the Chakras, How to Survive Unemployment, The Very Quick Job Search, (See, I'm trying.) Beauty, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, more coming soon.
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HERE IT IS, FOLKS!!!!! THE CURE FOR DEPRESSION!!
...............I read how-to type books on various subject matters; I've always believed that you could teach yourself ANYTHING, provided the manual is written in English. why not! I love the writing style of an Irish American author Frank McCourt. He wrote Angela's Ashes and 'Tis. and the books were MUCH better than the depressing movie of the same name. I also love dirrrrty romance novels. Currently, though, I am reading alot of how-to-paint instruction books about three at a time....
Heroes
My hero is anyone who feels fear but continues on anyway.
For the first time in my life, I feel *I* am a hero to me....
Aside from that, I would love to meet Lotte Berk up in heaven (she passed away). She reminds me of me, a little bit improper and very concerned with proper form and hard work....
Paris Lohan, Go Directly to My Room. | MySpace Video
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a Tango routine, rehearsal:
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Check it out, a video of me dancing a West Coast Swing routine with Mario and Francine, June 6, 2009.
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West Coast Swing routine - "Trouble" with Francine, Mario & Lisa -------------------------------------------------------------------Orchid Rescuer: I am a absolute sucker for droopy, wilted, no-one-wants-em Phalaenopsis orchids that you see left on the racks at Whole Foods Markets, Target, Home Despot and Loews (and my dance school cough ahem cough). It's almost like I hear them say, "psst hey! you heard me...please take me home, give me dry bark to sink my fat, juicy air roots into and then water me with some bloom boost fertilizer and set me on your windowsill....don't let me die here due to neglect and mistreatment." I hear them and answer by doing exactly that, and they reward me with such long lasting, astounding beauty..eventually....For some reason I am able to take the shittiest lookng orchid with no blooms, broken leaves and shriveled up air-roots home with me, knowing I won't get a bloom for at least a year. It gives me such a tremendous sense of satisfaction when they finally do bloom, it's a feeling akin to an orgasm.
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I have no faults, only critics... :D-- OH,FUCK YOU if you CAN'T take a JOKE
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Bird whisperer: I am an avid bird watcher and can easily identify all the local birds. One time, I had a nanday conyer named Freddy sit on my shoulder, it slowly crept up close to my face and nuzzled my cheek...when the owner Frank put his shoulder to mine to retrieve the conyer, it dug its claws into my shoulder and leaned toward my cheek because it didn't want to leave me. I almost cried. and he ALWAYS did this with me, every time I saw Freddy. SAD NEWS UPDATE 3/31/08: I saw Frank, Freddy's owner at Tic Tock Saturday night, he told me Freddy the Conyer died a month ago of bird flu, and I completely fucking LOST IT at the diner table in the middle of the night. I started crying and all the drunk guidos and my friends were staring at me. I could care less. Never have I had such a connection with an bird or any animal for that matter...he was warmer to me than most humans I know.....he nuzzled MY cheek and I will never forget him and his peek-a-boo games and the exacting way he ate tortilla chips with one claw.......I truly love you Freddy and you too, Frank....he chose YOU all those years ago to live with, just flew down onto your shoulder out of a tree in West New York!!!!
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Another time I was in a petstore in Nutley, looking at this African Grey parrot. I'm like "helloooo!" a couple times, he ignored me, and all of a sudden I hear "CAWWW!!!HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!" from the adjoining room. I was like, what the fuck??? So I go in there and there's this giant white cockatoo swinging on a swing in his own little corner of the store. Of course, I go up to him and we had a little hello-hello conversation back and forth, and he was making me laugh so I must have tossed my head back in sincere laughter and the cockatoo starts tossing his head back and imitating me, like, verbatim!!!!! Well that made me laugh uproariously with tears spilling out my eyes. He keeps laughing my laugh, and I go, "I love you!!!" and he says "i Love you" back!!!! then he really starting flipping in his swing, showing off for me. I spent my lunch hour that day gushing over that bird.
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Macaws getting their wings clipped: have you ever heard a Macaw growl at the petstore wing-clipper? FUCKING HYSTERICAL!!!!!! Those birds know exactly who does what to them and they hold grudges worse than humans!! After getting his wings clipped, this Macaw bird was wrapped in a towel being held by his owner who was paying the bill. The guy who actually did the wing clipping walks past and this fuckin bird lifts his head, made eye contact with such a dirty look and growled (an ear splitting sound, go to a pet store, you'll see what I mean.) and he even craned his neck to follow the guy away with his angry eyes. Me and my friend were doubled over laughing at that for like ten fuckin minutes.
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I'm sometimes very scattered, deeply emotional, even angry...at other times I'm as bright as the sun...
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~~I respect people who respect me. I respect hard work. I admire those that work hard and reap their just rewards. I don't like scumbags who constantly make the wrong decisions in life and then expect others to foot the load for them. Go get yourself a fuckin life, you know???? You are faced with a good choice and a stupid one, stop making the stupid ones and expecting everyone else to wipe your ass for you.
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Recently, a gallery owner told me that someone wanted to buy my painting that he was framing for me...it was hanging up when he was done and a customer inquired about it!!!!! SOMEONE WANTED TO BUY A PAINTING I MADE!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! HO--LY--SHIT!!!!!!!
oh-what-a-feelin!! So I obviously love creative studio art. I love to get my hands messy...
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Who I'd like to meet: This is deeeeep: ------------------------------
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A chauvinistic guy who will slap me into submission and make me cook his vittels barefoot AND keep me constantly pregnant..and cheat on me for good measure, cuz he's bored. One who will kick my ass if I get in the way of him watching his precious Giants game, and when they lose the game, he will fucking destroy the tv and the house too, and I get to clean it all up, ooo goodie. ahhh paradise.....OMFG JUST KIDDING PLEASE PLEASE JUST KIDDING.
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kiss me on both my EYELIDS and tell me you LIKE me.....that would mean the WORLD
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Aww your welcome and thanks for coming it was alot better having someone there to talk to. It would've sucked hardcore if you weren't there so thank you again!!!!
Yea, that was funny, she thought she was going to out run me, ha. I had to stop at Lynhurst cause my tire went flat, but we got her plate number, make & model of her car. The real funny part is that the passenger was someone who Elizabeth knows. She tx him and the next day he txt back saying that he was trying to get her to pull over but she was broke and to scared. He told her we already had her plates, she thinks its not going to catch up to her. What a stupid bitch. LoL.
THANKS FOR THE ADD!!! Hope you enjoy my music, feedback is always welcomed!!! Check out my Rock the Space widget http://lnk.ms/0vZpx Peace and love, Lauren*
Hope your 4th of July celebration was on par to your dance moves - great job on the videos Lisa :-)
Band's taking a breather: one of our guys had his second baby, I have my son visiting (two full months no less) and that has been enough to retreat a little bit. We're working on some shows for the later part of Summer and the year for that matter. Things are moving along.
Keep up the good work Paris Lohan - Ballroom Dance Instructor :-)
