A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. -Jessamyn West
Got a nervous kind of feeling
Got a painful yellow headache
Every picture in every magazine's turned real
Every face looks out and screams at me too real
Cold sweat on my collar
Dripping to my boots
The waves of nauseous pain
Sets off the pressure pad alarms
Gotta get outta here
Gotta get outta here
Gotta get outta here
Gotta get outta here
Gotta painful swelling brain
Banging in my head
Gotta painful swelling brain
And i called off sick
Gotta swelling itching pain
Got me pulling out my hair
Gotta swelling itching pain
Clutching at my brain
Got me laying on the floor
Think i left my senses
Seems like endless torture
Got me pulling out my hair
Driving me up the wall
Dripping out my eyes ears nose and mouth
Imploding my thoughts
Blasting holes in the front lawn now
Going outta my skull
Burning up my thoughts
Tearing me apart
Beautiful world
It’s a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care
Makes me want to say
It’s a beautiful world
For you
It’s a wonderful time to be here
It’s nice to be alive
Wonderful people everywhere
The way they comb their hair
Makes me want to say
It’s a wonderful place
For you
Hey
Tell me what I say
Boy ’n’ girl with the new clothes on
You can shake it to me all night long
Hey hey
It’s a beautiful world we live in
A sweet romantic place
Beautiful people everywhere
The way they show they care
Makes me want to say
It’s a beautiful world
For you
It’s not for me!
Funbus
Why has the humor died in music today
everyone is so serious that I'm afraid to say
tough guy stance is lost on me
violence is neccessary it proves you are free
happy being sold mediocrity
failure only happens from originality
Its more important to be tough than to have any fun
like an insecure human who fears everyone
music is art that we're afraid to enjoy
like a child who's outgrown his favorite toy
afraid to acknowledge what makes us feel good
afraid to leave the mold , if we only could
a group is always easier to follow
then finding something new to swallow
so give us the art thats boring and plain
its easier to be different when its the same
fear something new till we're told its ok
no time to explore no time to play
the craving for new is something to shun
thinking is bad it spoils the fun
discover youself with mass appeal
pretend your choices make you real
To Defy The Laws Of Tradition
What if christmas didnt come this year
And no one paid for christmas cheer?
Who would cry the biggest tear,
The child or the store?
Why do brides wear virgin white?
Most do not deserve that right.
But to choose a color of their delight
Would surely bring on the frowns.
To defy the laws of tradition
Is a crusade only of the brave.
Suppose the taxman, he comes to town,
And you dont lay your money down.
Yet mr. jones he killed mr. brown the other day.
Well I wonder, whos gonna go to hell.
Too Many Puppies
Too many puppies are being shot in the dark.
Too many puppies are trained not to bark.
At the sight of blood that must be spille dso that
We may maintain our oil fields.
Too many puppies
Too many puppies are taught to heal.
Too many puppies are trained to kill.
On the command of men wearing money belts that buy
Mistresses sleek animal pelts.
Too many puppies.
Too many puppies with guns in their hands.
Too many puppies in foreign lands.
Are dressed up sharp in suits of green and
Placed upon the war machine.
Too many puppies are just like me.
Too many puppies are afraid to see.
The visions of the past brought to life again,
Too many puppies, too many dead men.
"Coattails Of A Dead Man"
He wasn't lookin' for fanfare or fame
but it all came around just the same.
He then met a girl with desire in her eye,
he gave her love, she took his name.
The times they were good, the times they were bad,
most times it was just in between.
The hard pill he swallowed was the times that they had,
she put on display for all to be seen.
Some find their solace in work or the lord,
she was quite content in her dream.
When his eyes they burned from the bright lime light,
he found comfort in the bottle of Ol' Jimmy Beam.
One day from the depths of his deep darkened hole,
he reached out for something to feel.
She offered back nothin' but lack of respect
so he left himself out with two barrels of steel.
She cried in the day, she cried in the night.
She cried loudest when someone was near.
Whether crying for him or she cried for herself,
the bigger the camera, the bigger the tear.
Most folks agree that she was living a hell
and publicly she showed her pain.
And never once was there a thought for herself,
and the ever-growing slices of fortune and fame.
Now on the coattails of a dead man she'll ride
on the coattails of a dead man she'll ride.
On the coattails of a dead man she'll ride she'll ride,
on the coattails of a dead man she'll ride she'll ride high.
You Can't Bring Me Down
What the hell's going on around here?
First off-let's take it from the start
Straight out-can't change what's in my heart
No one-can tear my beliefs apart, you can't bring me
You ain't-never seen no one like me
Prevail-regardless what the cost might be
Power-flows inside of me, you can't bring me
Never-fall as long as I try
Refuse-to be a part of your lie
Even-if it means I die, you can't bring me
You...can't...bring...me...down!
Who the hell you calling crazy? You wouldn't know what crazy was
If Charles Manson was eating fruit loops on your front porch....
Time out-let's get something clear
I speak-more truth than you want to hear
Scapegoat-to cover up your fear, you can't bring me
You ain't-never seen so much might
Fight for-what I know is right
What up-you got yourself a fight, you can't bring me
Stand up-we'll all sing along
Together-ain't nothin' as strong
Won't quit-we ain't in the wrong, you can't bring me
You...can't...bring...me...down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, you can't bring me down!
Tell them what's up Rocky!
You...can't...bring...me...down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, you can't bring me down!
So why you trying to bring me?
Well you can't bring me down...No, no, no, no
Can't bring me down....No, no, no, no, no, no
Can't bring me down....No, no, no, no, no, no
Can't bring me down....No, no, no, no, no, no
So why you trying to bring?
Well you can't bring me down
Just cause you don't understand what's going on don't mean it don't make no sense
And just cause you don't like it, don't mean it ain't no good
And let me tell you something;
Before you go taking a walk in my world
You better take a look at the real world
Cause this ain't no Mister Roger's Neighborhood
Can you say "feel like shit"?
Yea maybe sometimes I do feel like shit
I ain't happy 'bout it, but I'd rather feel like shit than be full of shit!
And if I offended you, oh I'm sorry...
But maybe you need to be offended
But here's my apology and one more thing...fuck you!
Cos you...can't...bring...me...down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, no!
Bring me down-you can't bring me down, you can't bring me down!
Can't bring me down!
Can't bring me down!
Can't bring me down!
Suicidal!
What You Need's A Friend
I leach off you when things are good
I'm there to kick you when you're down
But when you need me I'm not there
You're such a bummer when you're down
Let's see - what you need's a friend
They say - that all you need's a friend
I know - what you need's a friend
Hello - I could use a...
What you need's a friend - all you need's a friend
And of course we always share
So what I want you better give
And what is yours is mine
And what is mine you can't have
I'd do anything for you - anything
Just you ask me and it's done - anything
But everything has its price
You should have read the fine print ha-ha!
Friend. Hi, friend. Friend. It's me friend!
What you need's a friend. All you need's a friend
What you need's another friend. You never can have
enough friends. Don't you wanna be my friend?
I'm so glad you're my friend. Sucker
Of course you know who I am
And I'll never let you forget
You are stuck with me forever
Or until you have nothin' more to give
Part I
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out!
A door slammed. The maid screamed.
Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!
While millions of people were starving, the king lived
in luxury. Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a boy was
growing up.
Part II
A light snow was falling, and the little girl with the
tattered shawl had not sold a violet all day.
At that very moment, a young intern at City Hospital was
making an important discovery. The mysterious patient in
Room 213 had finally awakened. She moaned softly.
Could it be that she was the sister of the boy in Kansas
who loved the girl with the tattered shawl who was the
daughter of the maid who had escaped from the pirates?
The intern frowned.
"Stampede!" the foreman shouted, and forty thousand head
of cattle thundered down on the tiny camp. The two men
rolled on the ground grappling beneath the murderous hooves.
A left and a right. A left. Another left and right. An
uppercut to the jaw. The fight was over. And so the ranch
was saved.
The young intern sat by himself in one corner of the
coffee shop. he had learned about medicine, but more
importantly, he had learned something about life.
THE END
The Massage, by Mat Groening
It's like a party sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep myself so slender
It's like a party sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep myself so slender
Broken hearts everywhere
Herpes inna hot tub you know they just don't care
I can't take the smog, can't take the heat
But I dig Pick 'n Save you know their prices can't be beat
Dog crap in the front yard, Hibachi's in the back
Junior's in the driveway with a Big Mac attack
I tried to take lunch but I couldn't leave home
'cause the man from the car shop is shining my chrome
Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge of the pool
You shove me in and I'm gonna lose my cool
It's like a party sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep myself so slender
My son said Pops I don't want to go to class
'Cause I'm functionally illiterate but still I'll pass
Life is a breeze, I'm gonna wax my skis
Empty your pockets 'cause I need your keys
You know what's funny? I'm gonna inherit all your money
Now eat your brie before it gets too runny
I'm not a slave, I dig new wave
I'm gonna dance to the Go-Gos on your grave
Don't push me unless you've got a lot
'Cause I'll sue you for everything you got
It's like a party sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep myself so slender
A kid is born with a whack on the butt
If a boy right away then his penis is cut
Then there's God up above and he's beaming down love
'Cept when he's frisky then he gives you a shove
You grow up in the suburbs living first rate
When your parents aren't home you get to stay up late
The mall where you shop and your homegrown crop
Make you feel sure you're gonna stay on top
When your folks call you liar you'll aspire to get higher
Maybe in frustration you'll go puncture a tire
Driving Dad's car, spending twenties and tens
Life is a all and you're up on the trends.
Don't push me 'cause I'm standing in line
Here -- calm down -- have a sip of wine
It's like a party sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep myself so slender
You say I'm cool, I'm no fool
But then you wind up applying to grad school
Now you're working like mad, you're dressed up in plaid
You drive to work in your very own Cad
Your blanket's electric, your kid is dyslexic
You save on the food 'cause your wife's anorexic
You're a wheeler dealer, on the beach you're a peeler
In the winter you're a gung-ho snowmobiler
You've got a fine education, a fine cable station
And every year you get a fine paid vacation
You've gotten mature, you say "fer sure"
You buy a fur and listen to your wife purr
And when it's over, and you're dead of cancer
They'll remember you fondly as a disco dancer
It's plain to see that your life was full
A little on the light side but not too dull
And now you're buried six feet deep
So open your eyes from a very long sleep
You know you're gone and you wonder well
What's it going to be, heaven or hell?
But God's a guy who acts real sly
He'll think up something weird just to give it a try
God's a man with a plan who does what he can
So you gotta have faith and try to understand
Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge
I've been reincarnated as a very small trimmed hedge
It's like a party sometimes it makes me wonder
How I keep myself so slender
Heroes
Jet Jaguar
HE JOCK IT MADE OF STEEL
EATS SUSHI FROM A PAIL
JET JAGUAR ? JET JAGUAR !
HE MOTHER NEVER REALLY LOVE HIM
HE CRIMEFIGHTING COVERS UP A BASIC INSECURITY
HE DICKEY COVERS UP AN ADDAMS APPLE THE SIZE OF A TOYOTA
HE BASICLY GOOD-HEARTED BUT HE'D LIKE TO SMASH THAT KID AGAINST A ROCK
KNOCK ! KNOCK ! KNOCK !
WHO'S THERE ?
HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE JACK NICHOLSON
DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT, IT WILL STAY THAT WAY
YAHMMMAAHOAAHOAAAUGH !
(DON'T TOUCH MY BAGS IF YOU PLEASE. MR. CUSTOMS MAN)
Holmes H S
San Antonio,TX
Graduated: 1989
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Major: Getting out
1985 to 1989
Joey!!! Starting to think of some Experimental Animation to do for the SA 48Hr thing... we'll see what I can think of Posted at 3:57 PM Nov 20 view more
Hey, guess what? The third installment in our Adult Mutant Ninja Turtles series has arrived!! If you were subscribed to us on youtube then you’d already know this! (Hint hint, go subscribe youtube.com/randumbact) If you don’t have a youtube account then you should really consider making one! LOL, but enough with the youtube promoting, let me get on to why I’m really leaving you this comment…Episode 3!!! If you haven’t been following the turtles series then just click the links at the beginning of Episode 3 to go watch the first two episodes. Anyway, here you go, please let us know what you think and tell all your friends about us. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it!
Hey guys, just wanted to stop by and leave our newest video, SAW: Year Two. It’s a follow up to our most watched video ever (SAW: Year One) so be sure to check it out and leave us a comment with your favorite part. I didn’t want to take up too much space on your pages so I didn’t include a link to part 1, but if you want to watch it first to refresh your memory then just head over to youtube.com/randumbact
Thanks again for watching and supporting us!!! Don’t forget to tell all your friends about us.
Please help Walter Koenig, "Chekov from Star Trek TOS", Get His Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! Walter has been nominated for his star and waltersstar.com has raised the money to manufacture and install the star (Thanks!). All Walter needs now is the votes of the Walk of Fame Committee. Write to the Walk of Fame Committee a polite letter in your own words, why you think Walter should have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. These NEED to be letters from each individual fan in the fan's own words. Not copies, Not form letters, Not chain letters. Walk of Fame Committee c/o Hollywood Chamber of Commerce 7018 Hollywood Boulevard, 2nd Floor Hollywood, CA 90028
Hey Randumb Fans, hope you had a great weekend and an awesome 4th! How is it that fireworks never seem to get old?? Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and leave Episode two of our Adult Mutant Ninja Turtles series. I sent out messages when this video came out a week ago, but I wanted to leave it as a comment as well just in case anyone missed it. Also, I think some of the messages didn’t process and I know you guys would be devastated if you missed an episode in this hilarious series!! I’m including the link for Episode one as well just in case any of you missed that one or if some of your friends want to watch. As always, thanks for watching and please let us know what you thought!
Hey guys, Lovebird from Randumb Acts here! Just wanted to drop by, say what’s up, and leave our newest skit for your enjoyment. I personally think its one of the funniest ones ever so make sure you check it out and let us know what you think.
Hope you enjoy watching it and please be sure to tell all your friends about us. Randumb Acts is on the rise…spread the word!
Hey now! Jet Propulsion Labs are awesome . . they are labs . . that are jet propelled. You know, it would be way awesome if my office were jet propelled . . I wonder if I can order that? Where would I go, in my office? who cares! I want a jet propulsion office!
You can never get me, Baby. I'm the wind... (whoosh....)
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