Hiking, drinking, writing, drinking, hangin' at the beach... did I mention drinking?
Music
Sinatra, Dean Martin, Louie Prima, Nat King Cole, The Beatles, The Dead, NRPS, Allman Brothers, Skynyrd, The Who, The Good Rats, Springsteen (early stuff), Speedlimit, Fountains of Wayne, Court Jester.
Movies
My Cousin Vinny, Animal House, The Godfather (I & II), Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Midnight Run, Clueless, and almost anything with Bill Murray. Christmas flicks - It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on
34th Street, and The Bishop's Wife.
Television
Sitcoms - The Honeymooners (a classic!), The Bob Newhart Show,
Newhart, Taxi, Cheers, Frazier, Coach, Wings, Everybody Loves Raymond, Just Shoot Me, Scrubs, My Name is Earl, and Two and a Half Men. Dramadies - Rescue Me, Northern Exposure. Dramas - Hill Street Blues (Bochco rewrote the book on cop shows), St. Elsewhere, and The West Wing. Sci Fi - All the Star Treks except Deep Space Nine. Cartoons - Family Guy.
Books
1225 MISTLETOE LANE and NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING (both written by me) Reviews at:
http://www.publishedauthors.net/lennycastellaneta/
Heroes
Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, Jerry Springer, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly... all of whom have parlayed no discernable talent into millions of dollars.
Born and raised on Long Island, I graduated from Nassau Community College in 1980 with an A.A. in Liberal Arts. But what the hell was I gonna do with an A.A. in Liberal Arts?! So I moved west shortly thereafter and, in 1983, graduated from Cal. State Fullerton with a B.A. in American Studies. But what the hell was I gonna do with a B.A. in American Studies?! I didn't get discouraged, though. A lifelong television junkie, I'd always dreamt of writing sitcoms ... and decided to move to L.A. to pursue it! While chasing my dream, I worked many odd jobs including shoe salesman, Zamboni driver, bartender, and my favorite - substitute teacher.
Having no luck peddling my TV scripts, I did what most failed writers do; I returned to college to obtain a teaching credential. It was during this time (late 80s) that I began penning a fictionalized account of my life as an aspiring writer/substitute teacher.
Some interesting reviews for NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING -
NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING is available for purchase at your local bookstore. (If they don't stock it, they can order it.) It's also available at most on-line bookstores, including...
WANT A FREE COPY OF NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING? Just follow the below link. Apply for a "No Annual Fee" Visa card from Buy.com and get a $30 instant credit. Purchase No One's Even Bleeding along with another item, and if your total is $30, you get both for free! And because the purchase price is over $25, ya also get free shipping! (But ya MUST choose "free shipping" as your delivery option/method.) -
Free Copy of No One's Even Bleeding
ONE DAY, HOPEFULLY...
11/16/06
Dear Santa,
Can ya get me a new publicist for Christmas? My current one isn’t doing much to promote my book, 1225 Mistletoe Lane! And while you’re at it, do ya know Tim Allen? People tell me my book would make a good Christmas movie, and Mr. Allen seems to make an awful lot of Christmas movies…
Thanks Santa,
Lenny
11/18/06
Dear Lenny,
I received your (above) letter the other day and decided to do some research into the matter. So I called your publisher, and was told that you don’t have a publicist. From what they told me, YOU do all of the marketing and promotion for 1225 Mistletoe Lane. Because you weren’t honest with me, I can not honor your request.
Santa
p.s. BTW, contrary to your note of 12/24/05, you DIDN’T bake those cookies. The Keebler Elves are personal friends of mine, and I know their work when I taste it!
11/20/06
Dear Santa,
I wasn’t dishonest. I merely neglected to state that the publicist, with which I’m displeased, is me. And re: the cookies - let’s review my note…
Dear Santa,
From me to you.
Baked with love,
Lenny
“From me to you” - the cookies were, in fact, a gift from me to you. “Baked with love” - As I understand it, the Keebler Elves bake ALL of their products with love. So ya see, Santa? I wasn’t dishonest; ya merely misinterpreted my letter.
BTW, I heard you’re havin’ some labor disputes with the elves’ union. I can help ya with that. I’m Italian and grew up in N.Y., so I know a guy who knows a guy…
Lenny
p.s. If ya reconsider the publicist thing, how ‘bout hookin’ me up with YOUR guy? It’s not even Thanksgiving, yet for the last 2 months, I see your face everywhere I go. Or how ‘bout Borat’s guy? Borat seems to be everywhere these days, too!
11/22/06
Dear Lenny,
You know a guy who knows a guy who can do WHAT?! You can’t possibly be suggesting what I THINK you’re suggesting! Didn’t you learn ANYTHING in all those years of Catholic school and being an altar boy… besides how to steal wine from the vestibule closet when the priest wasn’t looking?!
Santa
11/24/06
Dear Santa,
All I’m sayin’ is that it’s very remote up there at the North Pole. Very easy for some of the trouble-makin’ elves to, let’s say… go ice fishin’ and fall into the hole. Accidentally, of course.
Lenny
p.s. Re: the altar wine - I didn’t steal it. The priest gave it to me as a thank you. The church was havin’ problems with the truckers’ union that delivers the wine. And I was able to help ‘cause I knew a guy who knew a guy…
11/26/06
Dear Lenny,
You knew a guy who knew a guy in 8th grade?! John Gotti didn‘t know a guy who knew a guy in 8th grade!! Where did you go to school, Our Lady Of The Sopranos?! And BTW, if you’re so well connected, why do you need ME to find you a publicist?
Got a news flash for you, pal. Santa doesn’t need anyone’s help dealing with unions. I think you're getting me mixed-up with Frosty the Snowman - that wimp who melts at the first sign of heat. Don't forget, I slide down chimneys for a living. You think I couldn't arrange to have a few whining elves disappear behind the bricks of some of those fireplaces if I wanted to? I may appear jolly, but just like Oprah, I'm ruthless when I have to be. How do you think we’ve both stayed on top for so long?
Stop bothering me ’cause if you don’t, well… I, too, know a guy who knows a guy!
Santa
Vinny the Elf
Who I'd like to meet: People responsible for programming network TV. I'd like to find out how I, too, can get a job where I can make outrageous money for being wrong 90% of the time.
God I'm a dork..ahm.. wrong Lenny.. but now that I've gone back to your page... again.. THANK YOU for the Birthday greetings... I hope all is well for you in CA as I'm sure it is.. know of any hot men from where you're from? That dialect always got me.
Thank you for the birthday wishes. A great B-Day gift is helping my cartoon get on TV. VOTE: To comment & rate, you have to set up a profile on aniboom website, only takes a second. View daily at least! If you already left comments, why not leaving some more on how much you love the animation! Contest ends Sept 30th. Contest ends Sept 30th!! Please help make my dream come true. http://www.aniboom.com/animation-video/393074/Supa-Pirate-Booty-Hunt---Holiday-Fight-Club-Island/ ;
Online Now!
