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DING DONG. I'm updating my myspace today. I do shit. I play WoW. I'm bored. Richard is lame. Someone buy me the J.K.Rowling book for christmas.

The Classic Version...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come summer, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food and shelter so he dies out in the cold.

The modern version in New Zealand...

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. However, come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others are cold and starving. TVNZ, TV3 and Prime show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to video footage of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. New Zealand and the world are stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Then a representative to the NAGB (National Association of Green Bugs) shows up on the Holmes show and charges the ant with "green bias" and makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 Million years of Greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on Nightline with the Grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's not easy being Green" Helen Clarke makes a special guest appearance on TVNZ News to tell a concerned Judy Bailey that they will do everything they can for the Grasshopper, who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the Shipley summers, or as Helen refers to it, the 'temperatures of the 90s'. Jim Anderton says in an interview with Richard Long that the ant has gotten rich off the Grasshopper's back, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the Ant to make him pay his 'fair share'. Finally, the Labour coalition government drafts the 'Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act', retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The Ant was fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government. The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which just happens to be the Ant's old house, crumbles around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are showing Helen Clarke (with Jim Anderton at her shoulder), standing before a wildly applauding group of compatriots announcing that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in New Zealand.