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I live on the Island of Misfit Toys. I am a monster in Midian Where the Nightbreed live. I am a mutant in Professor Xaviers Home for gifted Youngsters secret home of the X-men. I am a Wizard among the muggles. Get the idea? Hint: Non conformist

Did you need that hint? God you're dumb! Metaphor! Say it with me M-E-T-A-P-H-O-R!!!

I Really don't take filling out profiles very seriously anymore. I would rather have fun and be the real me. You know, nice, horny, weird, and creative with an oddball sense of humor and an irreverent streak. If you have no sense of humor then in the words of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, "You suck!!!!!" I say that a lot lately.

I want to be a necromancer and raise the dead as Zombies and dress them in clown suits and create a circus of fear. Why? It sounds fun to me!

Don't Ask me to spell correctly. I am brilliant in Math and science and I draw real well but spelling? If you are a grammar Nazi or Spelling Nazi I pity you!!

If you are any kind of Nazi you suck! Though you do make great movie villians!

If you want to chat with me and who doesn't I am on yahoo as lordsifl. I am not giving my email out surfice it to say it is not a yahoo account. On AOhelL IM I am metaldar but I usually never use it anymore.

I'm an artist. I love to draw and paint. I especially love to draw pinups of nude women and erotica. I think there is no lovelier subject than sex and the female body as the famous artist Vargas used to say. I do enjoy drawing other subjects too like adventure comics and humorous drawing and watercolor painting. I would like to become a pro cartoonist/ illustrator someday. It is my dream!!! Yes I love comics and cartoons!

Some people can't deal with that I draw nekkid women and such. YES I missspelled it and YES it WAS on purpose! geez!!! Ah prudes, They....Wait for it....SUCK!!!!

I am an Info sponge. I speak Japanese and know way to much about Japan. I also like the occult!!! Spooky!!!!! Science too. I loves Science! I also like science fiction, the kind with weird ideas, bug eyed monsters and girls dressed like Las Vegas Showgirls riding dinosaurs. Lets not forget Undead mutant nazis under the sea. Speaking of the sea I love Pirates!!!! Parrot wearing rum Drinking Pirates! Arrr matey!!!!

Forgot to mention Vampires. Vampires suck but in a good way! LOL!!! Love the Vampires!!!

Saw a Lovely cartoon once of Tux The Penguin who is the Linux Mascot beating Bill Gates to death. I hate Windows. I Don't like Microsoft either. Repeat after me, "Monopolies are bad!!"

Bonus points if you know who sang the above line in the headline! Damned if I remember. Cool song though, I used to listen to it in Japan when I lived there. I lived in Japan and you probably didn't. nah nah na na na!!!!

I can remember who sang it now but not going to say. Consider it a quiz.

I like Punk music and reggie music and Hip-hop videos because they have hot black girls shakin their goodies on the screen! Woohoo!!!! Lil ol Miscegynistic me!! Hahaha!

Did I mention I like sex? Oh yeah above. Must be gettin old. well, I do. I'm not ashamed to admit it either. It's a healthy thing to do and is good for the heart. The Kama Sutra refers to sex as one of the 3 things a man needs to be healthy and happy along with money/food/etc and virtue. It Great exercise at least for my hand if nothing else though my hand and I are not speaking to each other these days. I just can't please anyone anymore.

For those who are hurorously challenged the joke was about my hand not wanting anything to do with me as in a failed relationship. Why are you even reading this? Watsa matta you?

I like Erotica too. Yep images of women , men, and sometimes monsters and whatever doing the nasty! I especially like it in comic form but I also enjoy it in a cinimatogrphic form aka...can you guess it?...porn movies perhaps? ANYWAYS...I don't think anything is wrong with liking it or making it which in my case means drawing as long as it is entertaining. An it harm none do as you will. Thats a wicca reference, specifically their main ethic. No I am not a witch.

Man that was Cathartic! Normally you are not supposed to talk about sex on profiles EVER especially if one is looking to attract a woman or two or three or four....but damnit I am a horny bastard! Hahaha!!! Remember the humor thing? Seriously, Why should I hide I like sex and erotica? Its part of what and who I am as are all my other interests and characteristics. Does loving sex and sexual things make a man a bad person? Why are we not supposed to say we love it if we do? I'm a wonderful person!!! I am probably the nicest person you will ever meet on this planet and I am very affectionate and loving. So I like sex and erotica? What is the big deal? Christianity probably...

As ol' Doc Smith might say, Christians irk me....

Thats a Lost In Space reference. Don't like Lost In Space? You Suck!!! Well, unless you are a hot chick in which case I might be willing to forgive you.....

...And then the Daleks showed up....

Thats a complicated in-joke. Bet you don't know what a Dalek is do you? You suck!!!

Religion! I need to rag on religion! Lets alienate people! Its fun!!! Well Actually the concept of gods and goddesses doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is the current batch or religions excluding Buddism, Taoism, Shinto, Hinduism, Wicca, and the various Dahomey based beliefs. Chiristianity though, Uggg. not that Jesus was bad, I like him, but everyone after him kinda DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE!!!!!! Be nice to each other, don't Judge, share with those who have nothing, relieve suffering, love each other. No one got the memo! HELLO??!!! All anyone seems to care about is he died and somehow everyone who believes gets a get out of hell free card on the cosmic monopoly board. Here is a thought, who is better? The man doomed to hell who does good anyway or a man who does good to get to heaven? Think about it! I am not going to say anything about Islam because those mofos are nuts. Judaism is cool, well except for all that crap in the bible. Ever read the bible? God acts like a 5 year old with absolute power. Though I was raised Jewish and my tribe produces more doctors, scientists, artists, entertainers, and famous porn stars than any other group! Woohoo! So the antisemites can go screw themselves!!!! I am an agnostic about god, It means "I just don't know" I like the ideas of Buddism and Taoism and the stuff that Jesus said. Well not all of what Jesus said but he had good ideas! I also like the primal idea of animism. Finally it must be said, by someone, that monotheism is NOT petter than polytheism. Polythiestic cultures tend to be more tolerant on average than monotheistic cultures. No one really knows whats going on anyway. Oh, Sorry to say,evolution is TRUE!!!! Sorry!!!

MUST attack politics next. I am on a roll with alienation! Basically people get the governments they deserve, especially in democratic republics like ours! You voted the idiots in so stop complaining! Basically Conservatives suck, at least the US versions. Neocons need to go out of politics and back to kindergarden where they belong because they are STUPID!!! This applies to conservative liberals, A conservative liberal is anyone who act like a conservative but has a different agenda. These mofos are responcible for such lovely ideas as political correctness. Here is an idea from the wiccans, "An it harm none do as you will". Buddah and Jesus said roughly, "Lets help the suffering and share because everyone suffers and compassion is the highest ideal" Heck Star Trek said the same thing and that humans created paradice after applying these ideals. Why not? Probably because most people are unthinking cretins? Oh well....

Lets see, no one will probably write to me now but damn!!! I feel good about what I wrote! I needed to rant about all that! Felt Damn good!

I am not adding a profile song. Those are fun for 3 seconds and then they get annoying. having read that you probably noticed THERE IS A PROFILE SONG HERE! What's up? GRINDHOUSE!!! Specifically April March's song Chick Habit from Deathproof.

...And then The Daleks showed up....

THE END Postscript: Aka PS as in the PS in a letter. bet you didn't know what PS stood for did you? You suck!!!! i say that a lot! Anyway.... Do I need to explain the "...And then the Daleks showed up..."? probably, at least to a few. Ok, Doctor Who, second new season, Earth gets attacked and conquered by those loveable Borg wannabees called Cybermen although to be fair the Cybermen showed up first on TV but the Borg are more dangerous and more familiar...anyways, Mankind is about to be turned into a bunch of goofy looking guys in armor and there is no hope when suddenly when all is lost....

...the Daleks showed up....

Daleks, for those who are not in the Brittish commonwelth, don't get the BBC, or have a life are these little blobby guys in armored mini-tanks with a death ray and for some reason a toilet plunger??? Well, these goofy sounding but admittedly apealingly designed things are the most dangerous things in the universe...well, the Doctor Who universe anyway and thus the Daleks showing up is a big problem and worse when several billion armored idiots are running around electrically moaning "delete"

...........

Yeah, I like Doctor Who, I am pathetic, give me some money so I can get better and the healing can begin...

...And then those wacky psychotic girls, in playboy bunny suits, with weapons of lethal death, which they don't know how to use very well, and who ride on rollerskates showed up...

Yes Virginia there IS(!!) an explanation for that one but I am NOT explaining it(!!!!), not now anyway, so I guess this is REALLY....

....THE END

Much of this, probably all of this will describe what I want in a woman given I originally joined this site looking for a girlfriend. Generally in a friend I look for interesting, unusual and intelligent people who are kind and non judgemental. Having a sense of humor is a must.

If you are a creative type thats a big plus! Thats the basics. As a general rule, if you find ME interesting then write to me and ignore everything below and let me judge you on your own merits as a human being.

What follows Below is a set of paragraphs describing what I would like in a woman plus some things such as a woman who likes sex shouldn't feel bad and that calvanists suck and so on. Much of it might be entertaining. The part about Drew Barrymore is telling since as I wrote this update I realized her personality is very much the type of person I like. Though there is much below and please enjoy it all and hopefully some of you reading this will become enamored with me though I might be kidding myself.

Ok, First off, I want a woman, a real one, not a post op tranny and yes there are such things on myspace and they are creepy in that many of them look lovely after god knows how much surgury they went through but I am not interested in ersatz women, sorry. You should also be of legal age 18+ which is a no brainer. I got no Lolita complexion thank you.

IF you are a space alien or monster thats ok.

Odds are my dreamgirl is on the island of misfit toys too.

To sum up quickly what I like personality wise I would say the loveable oddball type Like Katheryn Hepburn's Character in bringing up baby, Jeannie from I dream of Jeannie, Lum from Urusei Yatsura, and Roxy from Gen13. A spunky ball of affectionate energy. A feminine force of nature in a way. Spunky, playful, loving, and funny. Add creativity and bohemian characteristics and we might be set.

It would be really good if she was pretty too and wasn't an asshole, insanely crazy, or a brainless idiot. Like a Zombie I need BRAINS!!!!!!!

Lets not forget mediocretins, Yawn, boring! I hate mediocrity! Be different! Be weird! Bonus points if you heard the word mediocretin before! Have a personality please!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!

Lets have a sex drive too while we are at it. I am so sick of people who are basically closet nuns. Definition of a closet nun, someone who has little or no sex drive and would prefer to have none or those who suppress their sex drive. They all seem to live in New England too. Explain that to me or better yet prove me wrong!!!! You know the Puritans have been dead a while and there are no stocks and lets kick ol Calvin in the nuts for coming up with the idea of calvinism in the first place. Asshole Killjoy! No wonder the English kicked those bozos out in the first place! The puritans were all calvinists. Its ok to be horny now, really! I guess am just out of sync. A child of the 70s. A misfit toy.

So women, repeat after me, "I am not a slut if I have sex" and "Sex is fun" and "Sex is not a sin" and finally "People who disrespect a gal for having sex are assholes!" Lets keep the 50s back in the 50s

Where are the hippie chicks? Or the goth chicks? Were are the unusual and weird gals hiding? Yoohoo!!! Come out Come out where ever you are?

Asians are really cute! I dated a lot of them in my life. I was even engaged to one, a Lovely woman named Yasuko and I will tell you about her if you ask me and no she is not the Yasuko in my friend list. I have always liked asian women, especially Japanese, and I couldn't tell you why but I just do. freinds theorize I was Japanese in a previous lifetime. This isn't to say I will ignore you if you are not asian. This man likes all races of people.

If you are like Drew Barrymore at all then I will like you. She is a very kind and funny person in real life if you ever heard interviews with her and in many ways is an ideal woman from my point of view.

Ever see Mathilda May in the movie Lifeforce? If you look like that I want to marry you! OR if you look like Tera Patrick but I think there can only be one Tera Patrick in the universe at any one time.

You probably don't even know who Tera Patrick is do you? A gourgeous porn star and model with a high IQ and a microbiology degree. Probably one of the loveliest women on Earth. She is a Jewish asian! Bet you didn't know that either!

Same goes if you look like the Tilly sisters. Thats Jennifer and meg Tilly. Or Pheobe Cates.

If you look like Halle Berry or Vivinca Fox I want you right now. I love black women too and latinas. Some of the most lovely women on earth are Boricuas or Mexicans. Boricuas are Puerto Ricans if you didn't know and if you doubt what I say look up Rosalyn Sanchez whose name I undoubtable spelled wrong but she was in the movie Chasing Papi along with 2 other lovely latinas.

I could come up with a few other, gee these gals are hot examples but there are also real women I ahve met whos names I will not give out for privacy reasons who are also lovely. As Stated above if you find ME interesting write to me and let me judge you by your merits as a woman and as a person.

The End