On the voyage across the Pacific Ocean, their ship was attacked by the fierce and proud Captain Bluddbeard, whose proficiency with the bass was so well known that the waves themselves would run in fear from the swelling sounds emanating from his pirate ship. During the battle, all four of the warriors happened to strike the same chord at the same time, causing a giant tsunami which flung the two ships across the sky, eventually crash landing in Southern Wisconsin. Striking a truce, the band was now almost complete. Suddenly, from a rip in the fabric of space and time itself stepped the cyborg DANALOG. Hailing from the equatorial submersible cities of the future, DANALOG explained to the warriors that the convergence of their explosive sound without a uniting beat could threaten to destroy the very fabric of the universe.

However, during one of the Lords' most epic battles, one of DANALOG's arm servos became jammed. A tremendous buildup of pressure caused the cyborg to explode, creating a massive crater that reached to the depths of Hell itself. Seizing his chance, the demon king Korgoth escaped from Hell through the crust and emerged from the crater, hungry for souls. Socrates, in his wisdom, immediately challenged the demon king to a guitar duel - a challenge Korgoth could not deny under demon law. As the battle raged, the surrounding landscape was reduced to rubble from the tremendous force of the sonic waves. Socrates stunned the demon with his flawless sweep arpeggios, then shattered his guitar with a pinch harmonic. The demon king, now enslaved, became the new demonic drummer for the Lords.

Soon after, the LORDS manifested what mankind now knows as the most metal album ever conceived: "Death, or Sandwich". Following numerous highly publicized incidents of spontaneous combustion and/or face melting due to listening to the CD's contents, a shadowy multinational group known only as "SPIDR" amassed an army of the most battle-hardened special ops soldiers they could find. Their mission: find and imprison the LORDS in order to use their unimaginable power as a weapon. Their first target was the Socrates of Shred. Although Socrates managed to destroy a large number of the soldiers, the group's leader (codename: Red Widow) knocked him out from behind. Imprisoned, the Socrates of Shred decided to take his own life rather than be turned into a weapon. The resulting implosion wiped the prison (and a large section of the countryside) off of the map.

Weakened, but not yet defeated, the LORDS began their search for a new guitarist, all the while keeping a watchful eye for the agents of SPIDR. Traveling to Rome, the LORDS decided to attend the games at the Colosseum. There they encountered the famed Killius Maximus, an undefeated gladiator whose only weapon was shred guitar. Admiring his skill, Asian Metal leapt into the area and challenged him to a duel. Their furious playing eventually led to a massive earthquake, destroying much of the city and leaving many sections of the Colosseum in ruins. After this impressive display, the LORDS were in agreement: Killius Maximus would be the new guitarist. Thus, the LORDS were reunited, and metal reigned supreme!"

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