Jimmy Dirt, Surf'n'Turf Murph, Just-Scott, G-Squad and Busy Fingers.
Influences
Peer pressure, seeking parental approval, cigarette advertising (at sporting events), alcohol advertising (at sporting events), heroin advertising (at sporting events), the Dolly Thumbs: Teenage Human Resources Manager! series of young adult novellas, Adventures In Funk volumes 3 to 9 (cassette releases only), avant garde cinema, mainstream cinema, amateur cinema (especially films about "dogging"), fast women, faster food, instant coffee, limbs & the right to use them, kabourophobia, the monoamine hypothesis, Constance Markiewicz, highly malleable faux dough products, trust games, self help books, self harm books, the magical words of guaranteed ostracization, the dwarf saga (I want to dance with you/because you shave), St Francis, rainy days, Mondays, borderline personality disorder, kind people, love in all its forms, milk, ant society, telepathic orders from the Greys, gentle & good natured ribbing, boarding school games, feats of strength, salt, sugar, cracked pepper, cabernet paste, relaxing, codeine, contented sighs, temperature inversion at sunset, frotteurising with the staff.
Sounds Like
INDIE OUTLETS YOU CAN BUY OUR ALBUM - ENTER THE WONG. If you want to. Butterbeats (Fortitude Valley) Rocking Horse (Brisbane City) Rockaway Records (Springwood!) Tym Guitars (Fortitude Valley) Manna (West End) & Online for the futuristic people of today at the following. iTunes, Emusic, Amazon, & CDBaby. Happy shopping, fuckhead ----------------------------------------------------------------- For iTunes link -------- click Here >
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Somewhat unfairly Lords Of Wong have been described as,
‘…the closest thing you can get to a donkey show without P.E.T.A getting on your back.’
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Needless to say after fulfilling the rest of our contracted shows we fired that particular booking agent and have never returned to Tijuana. There are some tastes even tequila can’t get rid of.
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But we have class, damn it! We’ve scraped ourselves off floors, out of gutters, and one time from the bench seat of some busted Valiant, and man, we looked fresh. Straighten the collar, shoot your cuffs, unbend your cigarette & panhandle the day a brighter shade of red.
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We played some shows and wrecked some shit (mostly ourselves) and had a grand time doing so. The doctors say our frontal lobes are charcoal, our ears are beyond help, and our blood is mostly methanol, but we only care about our souls (and we were all a little upset when they shriveled up and dropped off).
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The past is gone, and our memories are faulty. As for the future, well, you can just roll your hopes and dreams up nice and tight in a furniture catalogue and fuck yourself with it.----------------------------Mostly though, we love everyone.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Reviews--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LORDS OF WONG -
Enter The Wong
(Sir Ronald Winkler Records)
Lords of Wong. Lords of fucking Wong. Has Brisbane ever created a finer mess of mind and soul obliterating rock’n’roll? Enter The Wong, god I feel dirty just listening to it, let alone attending one of their terrifying live shows. Frontman Jimbo is a fireball of blood, sweat and whiskey; a proto-human not fit for family consumption. His cohorts appear to be some sort of lizard people as far as I can tell, only some sort of genetic mutation could cause this sort of behaviour from fully grown men. The solidity of their performance belies the ferocity of the music they exude. Let’s take a bombing run at the majesty that is Enter The Wong. A hail of distortion greets newcomers before the howl of ‘Re-entry’ (which seems to be Reverend Jim’s advice for single men) dashes brains out on the rocks below. The sleazy slink of ‘She Devil’ thematically fits well with its prelude; though I’m not convinced this was a conscious decision on the band’s part. ‘Lust We Forget’ clocks in at just under two minutes, any longer and it would be in danger of critical mass. The swaggering ‘Uber Cool Fuck Machine’ beat out 96 other tunes to notch up a bronze medal in last year’s 4ZZZ Hot 100, and it’s not difficult to see why; it’s a perfect soundtrack for Brisbane. HITS’ Tamara Bell joins the band for vocals on what could be the catchiest track on Enter…, ‘You Can’t Keep a Good Drug Down’, one for the kids to nod their heads to. In short, Lords Of Wong and their two-headed dinosaur baby/debut album are a perfect glimpse into the darkness that lurks in the hearts of men. Fairly warned be ye, says I. ------------------------------------------------
4/5 Tal Wallace (Time Off)---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“..……Dirty, Depraved & Delicious……”------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Britney Spears this ain’t, more like Zulu Spears at ten paces! This stuff is dirtier than Angus Young in a mudslide, more depraved than Ozzy at a poultry festival – but delicious in its commitment to all that true Rock’n’Roll stands for….. Just like the birth of The Blues & Punk, there’s no poncing about with fancy chords or tricky arrangements….. If someone you love has fallen by the wayside and is listening to musical wallpaper, buy ‘em this CD… They may not thank you for it, but they will be able to better appreciate true Rock’n’Roll when they hear it. ----------------------------------------------
(DTM@CDBaby.com)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LORDS OF WONG -
You Can’t Keep A Good Drug Down (single) -
(Sir Ronald Winkler Records)------------------------------------------------
Aspiring bands take note : two very easy ways to get a review in this column include naming your record label something hilarious, and getting the undisputed queen of toilet rock Tamara Dawn Bell on your record to sing back up. The slightly chortle-worthily-titled ‘You Can’t Keep A Good Drug Down’ is the track in question and with its restrained guitar bounce and foot tapping groove is a long way from its accomplice
‘Re-entry’, which has a sludgy fucked up rhythm guitar and psyched out wah breaks and is quite punishing in its execution. One can imagine that drinking 100 beers and doing lines of valium would enhance the experience further.---------
Chris Yates (Time Off) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------LORDS OF WONG - Enter the Wong (Sir Ronald Winkler Records)---Lean 'n' Mean Bris Rock-----------------------------------------------------One of the many Brisbane bands practicing the art of garage rock 'n' roll, Lords of Wong are standouts due to the sleek economy of their tunes - for instance, they manage to make the last 5 songs all precisely four minutes and one second long. Even when they meander a bit (as in the swaggering blues of She Devil), the boot-up-the-arse guitars ensure you're still paying attention. They're at their best in the raucous Re-entry, the near-Motorhead propulsion of Lust We Forget, the desert rock chug of Uber Cool Fuck Machine (that's some title!) and the creeping build-up of You Can't Keep a Good Drug Down (another pretty ace title!). What's particularly impressive about the Lords is the way they manage to try a few different rock styles without wasting a note - even the throwaway instrumental Intermission evokes images of Brylcreamed hotrod owners with rolled-up sleeves. Playing soon in a beer-stained venue near you, Lords of Wong are the real deal.-----------------------
Matt Thrower (Rave Magazine)--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We stiffed the straights with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4
Hey Jim! Cheers! thanks for having us man! you guys kicked the night off awesomely I must add. and the party! haha, yeah I think the last of us only started to leave around 7 too! We'll fuckin have to do it all again sometime! Catch ya round! -Churv & the MB's
Yeah I've been yelling 'oh yes you've got to be a gentlemannnnn' to myself for a couple of weeks now - gonna have to get it outta my system properly!! Been amped about this gig for some time now - what an awesome line-up!! What time's kick off on Fri Jimmy? Cya Randall
Hey thanks 4 playin the other nite. You guys were a fucking riot! We were pretty fuckin shaky but it was our first gig back with new line up can only get better.. Anyways rock on.legions.
Hey Jim, Sorry delayed response, Ive had my head up my ass and only just found the way out, Still spewin you guys couldnt make it down to melbs, the oldbar gig turned out to be pretty cool still but would have been good to meet yall! Hows everything on your end? Hows the recording going?
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