Andrea Salt

About me:

- I ride on MOTHERFUCKING ROCKET SHIPS, YO! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9S_Y38UkP8

- I live with my husband, my bestest friend from high school, and my ex-arch nemesis. Also an anti-social cat and a big dork of a pitbull.

-Let's just say I'm not a very good date. I'm apparently mean and defensive. Also, I come off too tough.

Ok.

WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO COME OFF AS? SUZY FUCKING BETTY CROCKER NAILPOLISH? WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING FROM A CHICK THAT HAD A HABIT OF DATING ASSHOLES AND BITCHES WHO LOVED TREATING GIRLS LIKE SHIT? I GOT BAGGAGE, OK? AND THIS FLIGHT IS SCHEDULED TO LEAVE AND I REALLY CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE CARRY ON LUGGAGE SO STOP TRYING TO DISH THIS SHIT OUT ON ME LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF BELL HOP MUTHA-FUCKA.

Yeah, maybe I am a little mean, and I am defensive because most men are real shits looking for a hot ride to Vaginaville and I'm not into it. It doesn't pay to be a nice girl, does it? I can't bring myself to be sweet and charming when I am not looking for my next catch. Most of the time I just end up being myself, and what do I care?

- I'm in an open relationship, and we have rules. If you can get past the whole, " She's totally in love with a guy who isn't you." thing, then we can totally go on dates and have fun snuggle times. It takes a special kind of person, though.

- I hate any form of avacados. Seriously. That vegetable and all of its byproducts can fuck right off and die.

-I live in Portland. I may never live anywhere else, unless it's Ireland. I would sell a baby to live in Ireland.

-I'm crazy. Don't let the cute fool you. Inside me is a seething storm of psychosis and a lust for boys with tattoos.

- I intend on going out in a blaze of glory. Jagermeister bottle in one hand, a packet of Nutter Butters in the other, two Marlboro 27's in my mouth, right off the Steel Bridge. Then I will haunt it for the rest of my undead existence and lure unwitting sailors into the depths when the Rose Festival rolls around every year.

-I love cats. If you don't like cats, we won't get along.

- Handholding is my favorite thing to do.

- I like wrestling. RAW, ECW, WWF, love it all. I also love trying to execute moves from my favorite wrestlers. This results in some crazy times and a few injuries.

- I like to drink. It's a casual thing.

- I smoke cigarettes. Don't like it? Don't talk to me.

- I have an unpredictable temper. Mostly it's violent. Unless I don't like you, then it's unholy.

- I am a young, redheaded (naturally), Irish-Russian, Scorpio female. You have been warned.

- I have opinions. They like to voice themselves. They aren't always nice. You have been warned.

- I like to sleep. Some of my best times have been sleeping. (This is code for I'm fucking lazy.)

-I love the color blue and stars are my favorite shape in the world, though I will never get them tattooed on me.

-I have a no bullshit policy when it comes to friends. I'll either love you or hate you, don't piss me off or you're deadmeat. Be straight up and I'll love you to death. I don't have time for blithering idiots either.

---- Oh, and just so I know you actually read all of this instead of looking at my pictures and messaging me, if you are going to message me, put " punkrocklobstah!" in the subject line. If you don't, I'm just going to report the message as spam, because I'm sick and tired of people messaging me with stupid shit that I don't care about.