Your Mother. Oh wait, she's a fatass. A hippo. Some may say rhino. Her adam's apple is like a horn. My ass hurts.
Masturbation. Taking nude walks on the beach. Unfortunately for me, I don't live next to a beach. So I also like walking nude cross country. Going to the Thrift Store. Eating strawberries. Kicking leaves. Plucking butt hairs. Tea, I love tea. I like the smell of my own farts. I sing, not only in the shower, but also when I drop a deuce. It's usually Micheal Bolton. The carwash. Going to the zoo and throwing my poo at the monkeys. Typing useless information on a stupid profile account that won't ever get me laid. Driving mazaratis. I don't own one, but I keep going back twice a week to the same dealership to test drive one. I went and got groceries in New Mexico. It took me 3 days. Hit a deer and a mailbox at the same time. The deer was fine. I broke an arm. But don't worry, I used the old ancient art of some bullshit to help heal my broken arm. I think it had baking soda in it. That stuff can cure anything.
Music
"Posey Love", "House Party", as well as "Posey's Pride", all from The Luke and Posey Show. You best listen!
Movies
"Help, there's a gangster after my baby", among others but I don't remember.
My sex tape.
Debbie does Dallas 1,2,3,4,5,6....129
Television
"My Name Is Earl",
"The Office",
"My Penis's Name Is Curl,"
"The Orifice"
"When bears drive boats drunk, parts 1-6"
Books
"How To Bang Your Mother, Not Mine"
"How to touch a woman's cooch in 10 days"
Do magazines count? If so, I've got three. Maxim, Playboy and Highlights.
Heroes
Luke And Posey.
Bob And Tom. Chick. Kristi Lee. Donnie Baker.
Christopher Walken. Casey Kasem. George Clinton. Roger Clinton. The guy who invented space heaters. And of course, Kraft.
The guy on the dime.
Curious George
The little engine who could.
You.
The makers of the g-string.
Santa
But mostly, Luke And Posey.
Oh, and Flea! God bless you Flea.
Luke and Posey are 2 friends from Texas whose friendship is based only on their uncanny ability to make each other laugh until someone poops. We’re not interested in the serious stuff. Not at all. And if something serious happens to pop up, Luke and Posey will be sure to dress it up like a spider monkey in a pink tutu and teach it to dance the tootsie roll. Because that’s funny, and that’s what Luke and Posey do.
Who I'd like to meet: Your Mother. Oh wait, that already happened. Son/daughter!
L: Krystle Lina and all of her hot friends.
P: And Sivan Krispin. What a babe. Grrrrrrrrr.
