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1. My name is Lucas
---There were times in my life when I used to say my name a lot. I would look at my reflection in a mirror or a window and I would talk to myself. I would say, "Hi, my name is Lucas, whats your name?" And then my reflection would answer me back, "Hi Lucas, my name is Lucas, whats your name?" This game would go on in fast food restaurants over and over again mostly because I love attention more than most things in this world. That's why I'm always loud. I want to be noticed. I want to be laughed at. I want to have people look at me in disgust. I want people to hate me so much they laugh, maybe. I've changed a little since the days of the relfection talk, not much, but I have changed a little, but its still important to know my name.

2. My last name is Deal.
---Yeah, its cute, its easy and if you marry me, its yours ;) I weigh about 220 lbs just so you know so..."I'm kind of a big Deal." I have lines upon lines of amazing jokes with this name. My parents were on the game show let's make a Deal :) Let's get married and make a Deal :) I used to be called Dildo in grade school and I guess people didn't realize that makes no sense, but I still liked the nickname. When someone asks my name I like to say its "Lucas Deal like you deal cards, not like a dill pickle."

3. My middle name is Andrew.
---My initials are LAD. Come here lad. Yeah, its homo, so homo that I used to act like I had a different middle name. I used to say my middle name was Samuel just so my initals would be LSD. Then I would walk up to a sexy girl while I was in the third grade and say, "Hey, my name is Lucas Samuel Deal, yeah, my initials are LSD, wanna do me?" The third grade girls loved me. You can only imagine.

4. I have arthritis.
---Mostly I'm telling you this because I want your sympathy. Ilike to be babied around. I like people to take pity on me. I'm a 24-year-old with arthritis, not crippling, but someday I'm sure it will be. Last year I was a 23-year-old with arthritis and two years ago I was a 22-year-old with arthritis. I hate it. Arthritis can suck it. Its horrible. My joints always ache and its always a different place. Sometimes my wrist hurts, mostly its from masturbation but sometimes its from my arthritis. When it is from arthritis I can't even play basketball and that is devestating enough. Stupid arthritis. Someone once told me if I ate this one kind of raisin it would make my arthritis better, but I don't remember the raisin, so if anyone wants to go ahead and look that up and get back with me, I would listen to your advice even if its a lie. Thanks.

5. Dr. Pepper is God.
---OMG (Oh My God), it tastes so amazing. I have never loved anything more. Right now I have a can sitting beside me. I always have one around. I would easily marry Dr. Pepper. Why wouldn't I? All it does is give. I continue to take and take and take and then take some more. I tried to hump a Dr. Pepper can one time but my dick wouldn't fit in the hole, my dick isn't big by any means but just so everyone knows its not little enough to fit inside of a Dr. Pepper can. I did manage to shove it in a litle bit of it in only to have the Dr. Pepper can cut me. I bled. It was my firt time.

6. I am disgusting.
---I always say things. I say anything. I'm blunt and I can talk about any and everything. I'm sure people get tired of it. Hopefully someone, somewhere likes it. When I find that person I will shake their hand, fondle their private parts (even if its a guy, especially if its a guy) and then I will say something obscene to them. If that is you, please message me and let me know. I ramble. Mostly I have nothing to talk about, take this whole about me section for instance. When I don't have anything to talk about I talk about the stupidest most idiotic things.

7. I love our mutual respect for ambulances.
---One of my favorite things in life is how we all pull over to the side of the road when an ambulance drives by. We all do this and I think its amazing that we do. One of my favorite things is to watch an ambulance drive down the center of the road and watch all the people pull over like the ambulance has some type of super power. Thank you citizens. What? Why did I just say that citizen line? I have no clue. Gosh, I'm douche.

8. I cuss a LOT!
---I love to cuss. That's all there is too it. Mostly I do it because I want to be cool and cussing is cool, right? It makes you like the coolest dude in school, but what if you aren't in school, well, it still makes you cool. I like to say cuss words. Fuck. Shit. See.

9. I do things for shock value!
---As you see from this and many other things that I write, I like to say anything and everything. It's fun for me. I just think I'm very blunt. Sometimes, most of the time, I say things just to see the reaction I get from people, kinda like Borat if you've seen it. He does whatever and says whatever, that's simliar to my philosophy. If people don't get mad at the things I say and take offense then they are laughing. The things I say forumlate a reaction whether good or bad, but always a reaction and I like that about me. I don't ever have to worry about the things I say not impacting someone because they do. The things I say have substance, not always the nicest or most common substance, but substance nevertheless. :)

PET PEEVES:
1. Slow drivers (I like to get where I'm going)
2. People who don't put the shower knob back to bath when they are done taking a shower (I hate to get blasted by water when I turn the water on).
3. People who think that trying to be tough is cool. (whatever dude)
4. People who sit down to watch a movie and then talk through it (shut the fuck up you wanted to watch a movie)
. 5. People who drive with the window down on the highway. (It kills my ears, although now I'm stuck having to do that because my truck has no air conditoning so really this only pisses me off if people can avoid it and still do it).
6. People who walk while riding on an escalator. (It was made for people to be lazy, be lazy for goodness sakes).
7. People who buy shoes for someone's birthday, unless its a parent. (Friends don't get friends shoes).
8. When you go to take a poop but realize soon after already sitting on the pot and doing your business that there is no toliet paper. (I hate crab walking around looking for some).
9. Along the same line as #8. When you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and find out there is no milk. (I don't eat dry cereal, I'm not my grandma).
10. Being late to a movie! (The previews are my favorite part, don't tell me there is 15 minutes of previews so we won't miss anything...I'M MISSING THE PREVIEWS, IT'S THE ONLY REASON I WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIE).
11. People that instantly think I am hitting on them if I message them. (First off, thats very conceited and secondly, I could care less what you look like, I enjoy getting to know people. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't message me. If so, that's sad that he has you on a leash. Come here doggy.)
12. Using public restrooms. (There is always pubic hair all over the toliet or some form of piss all over the seat. If I use the restroom publicly it is usually the girls restroom I have to use. Guys are nasty.)
13. One worded texts. (I hate when someone wastes one of my texts with a reply like "Ok").
14. Dog poop on shoes (It's just as much my fault for not using sidewalks, but come on pups).
15. People who call people fat (I'm not a nice guy by any means, but I just hate that word).
16. People who wait for a parking space because they are too lazy to walk (they sit behind you while you are trying to back out and just stare with their lazy, fat eyes. I can use the word fat here because I'm not talking about someones weight, I'm talking about their eyes).
17.Let me start this off with an example. Let's say I'm in a bathroom and there are six urinals in a row, I go down to the very end urinal. The next person that walks in decides to come take a piss RIGHT beside me, I can't stand it. There are four other urinals that aren't RIGHT next to me, gosh! And stop smiling at me while you piss.

I feel I am a passionate person. If I'm interested in something, I usually end up loving that something. I'm very impulsive as well or spontaneous. If something sounds good, I'll do it. I'll just randomly move. I don't care. I just take life as it comes. I love similarities. Chances are if someone likes the same music I do or the same movies I do, well, I'm hooked. I like being able to communicate through music. I love noise. I don't like loud music, but mellow, like a soft lullaby. I love to learn. I like to sit back and absorb as much as I can. I'm random and I love randomness. Random questions. I love to answer questions. Even if I don't know an answer, I'm really really good at making up answers :D

I love intimacy. I love being able to hold someone in my arms. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. Holding hands is one of the simplest yet beautiful acts in the world. I love lying skin to skin, staring into someone’s eyes, caressing a body, running my hands through hair, letting lips meet for gentle kisses, soft lips on a neck. I’m just as freaky as the next person and just as kinky too. I’m not saying I don’t like to hump like bunnies, but it has to be meaningful. It’s nice to get rowdy, to get rough, but I love being loving, taking it slow. Making every movement mean something more than the last movement did. Invigorating. Phenomenal. Sensational. Breath-taking. Beautiful. That’s what intimacy is.

I get lonely when I poop. I like to talk to someone, I think pooping is one of the lonliest times in life. I like short straws. I like sitting on roofs. I enjoy bridges. I enjoy company. I love having a good girlfriend. I like to try to be a good boyfriend. I'm not, but I try. I'm a HUGE Dr. Pepper fan. I can't ride in elevators. My shoe size is 15. I haven't met a person with bigger hands than me. I can't walk and drink something at the same time. I'm the worst spitter in the world. I don't understand how to position my mouth and my spit flies, well it doesn't really fly and thats the problem. I love sitting at my house. I love my family. I'm a momma's boy. I enjoy controversy. I do things just to get a rise out of people and see their reactions. I don't misspell words often.

People think I'm strange. I think I'm me. Peoples opinions don't influence me. I realized that people will never read this far down enough to know this much about me. I don't get bored. I can have fun sitting alone. I laugh at retards, I think that is how we know God has a sense of humor. People think I'm mean. I'm just honest. I speak the truth, what I feel the truth is anyway. I'm not heartless, some may think the opposite. I happen to feel I have a big heart.

SOME BIG TIME LIKES:
-- Pigtails (God's gift to the world)
-- Facial moles/freckles (there is nothing more attractive than a mole)
-- Vacuumed carpet (It's so sexy looking)
-- Weeping Willows (they are trees and amazing and if you didn't know they were trees you might as well kill yourself)
-- Waterfalls (one of the most beautiful sights on Earth)
-- The smell of new tennis balls (once you pop the top on those things the smell is nostalgic)
-- Blowing bubbles in chocolate milk (nothing more amazing than the smell of chocolate bubbles)
-- Caves (eerie, spooky, sexy)
-- The sound of popcorn popping (the sublte sound of beauty)
-- While taking a bath, putting my ears in the water and making war noises (Nothing compares to the sound of my bombs)
-- Drying off after a shower (that clean sensation is dynamic)
-- The bag dispenser at Wal-Mart for the fruit and vegetables (it's so cleverly cute)
-- Wide-ruled paper(the bigger space to write in is very much amazing)
-- Singing in the shower (nothing more incredible than singing off tune in the privacy of your curtained cubicle. The shower has to hate me)

*Neil Armstrong so I could karate chop the hell out of him for lying about being on the moon. Why do we have to fake that? That's why his line is so catchy. It was scripted. Even if it wasn't and he actually did go to the moon, he had a long ass time to think about what he was going to say on his way so it had better have been something good. It was. *