Alyxandria Marchbanks

My favorite colors are white, black and brown; and I'm in love. My element is the earth. My sign is Capricorn. The sun is my lover.I can't get my mind to stop running. I can't get my mind to stop spinning around I can't get my mind to stop trading spaces and face this lonely happy me. I take my time, all my time and I close my eyes cuz in my mind this all works this out.

Let's embrace the sun today. You're standing there inches away from my face and you smile. We'll embrace the sun today. We'll embrace the world together, our eyes see more, our eyes are clever. Let's embrace the world together. My name is Aly. My mind is always in my own world.

"...and countless millions have walked this earth before we have, so this is just an experience we all share. Here I am." -Ted Bundy.

I liked it better when no one knew my name.... my name is slpit into parts much like myself. my soul. my heart. my mind. my body. i am like a broken mirrors in many ways only because i have been broken so many times that i want to be able to be put back together. i want to see who i really am for the first time. the state of mind i reside in is pretty crazy. i dont think about time nor do i care. im not really into unintelligent people, but i enjoy people who i can laugh at. in many ways i think i am insane and morbid. for instance you can look at a person and just see some kid, but i can see through all skin, muscle, bone, and bodily fluids. i can see who you are and who you will be, and this is because you can't criticize what you cant understand in this melancholy world we live in. i trust people alot and that is one of my weaker qualities, because there are many people who shouldn't be trusted, but i'll give them a chance.

i also dont mind sitting and waiting. i can wait for the things i want. i can wait all alone because most of the time when i am alone, i get alot of thinking done, and because when everything is lonely i can be my own best friend. i cant have conversations with the one person i cant hide away from. myself, and i dont mind that one bit. i take in chances that i know wont come again. things are changing so rapidly and before everyone knows it, everything you know is gone. you have to keep your eyes wide and see everything.

"People don’t know how to love. They bite rather than kiss and they slap rather than stroke. Maybe it’s because they realize how easy it is for love to go bad, to become suddenly impossible, unworkable, an exercise in futility. So they avoid it and seek solace in angst and fear and aggression which are always there and readily available." i have my eyes wide shut to all things that will hurt me. i know that curiousity killed the cat and i guess if i look too closely at things and over analize things, they lose thier beauty. my sense are very keen and i would like to keep them that way. i love beautiful and ugly things, because they give you a contrast to look at. All i want are friends who i can fall back onto. good people, and i know they are out there. people who are always lost in thought, people who dont like waking up because the are waiting for the perfect dream, and people who will join my in my imagination, and never want to leave.

I'm usually a pretty nice person i just get annoyed of people easily. i also get irritated and frustrated extremely easily, :l. im really self-concious and for some reason i think very low of myself. i wish i was something more than what ive become. i over think things to much and worry about everything. im very moody sometimes. im trying to live my life with no regrets & ive learned not to dwell on things that bring me down. i have made myself the person i am today, learning from my mistakes, and other peoples mistakes. im a independent person and i only really need a few people in my life to be happy. My amazing bestfriends; Julianne Bullock, Kelsey Siegler,& Mallory Smith. (: The Quadpod. ive been through a lot of different situations in my life but yet i still don't know how to handle them.

We're only as much as we make ourselves. We are only given the same gratuity as we put out there. The world doesn't make sense as a whole, you're the only one who can put the pieces together for yourself. Life has its bends, but if you can build the power to pull through, it will only make you stronger. Sometimes its not so easy to just believe in yourself and say you'll make it. But who's to say that you won't? I know I've had my doubts, and still frequently do, but I'll do my best to live every breath of my life, no matter how much affliction or heartache comes my way. I try to be as optimistic as i can. people always tell me, 'lifes not that hard.' but its really the hardest thing ive yet to encounter. lifes filled with a whole bunch of confusing, hard decisions and YOU are the one who makes them and desides YOUR own fate. nobody else controls your life, only you do.

I laugh too much at all of the occurrences and events that have made up these past three years. This rollercoaster we call life never ceases to take my breath away and shock me more so, day by day. Everything is temporary, so I’ve learned to love everyday for what benefits and horrors it may bring. As for relationships, because at my age, no one holds the same mindset as me I've never been able to find someone to have a secure relationship with. I'm trying my best to let my gaurd down and have a healthy relationship

What innocence was left in my world was chased away a very long time ago and if you take time to get to know me, you’ll understand what I mean. I’m not going to play your immature mind games, and I’m not going to let you use or take advantage of me. I know how I feel about myself, I know what I stand for, and I know how to take care of myself. I definitely know what love is not.

It's truly impossible to pinpoint exactly who you are at one exact moment. You might be feeling good about things, confidant, and happy now but sadly that could all slip away in a matter of minutes. Granted, emotions aren't the only thing that dictate who that person is inside; there are plenty of other factors that can be taken into account as well. One of those things would be your interests - what you like. But then again that changes too. We might use our physical appearance to describe who we are, but between makeup, clothes, and a growing body that isn't set in stone either.

So what on earth is it that makes us who we are? It really is a troubling question and I find myself asking it constantly. However, when I really sit there and contemplate it, the only conclusion that I can come to is that it is my thoughts that make me.. me. Some people might call it a soul, I prefer to just think of it as the processes of our brains - but either way it's the one thing that we all posses that is entirely unique. Yes there are obviously some similarities, but we all have had different experiences and have different ways of looking at something.

I found myself sitting next to this guy once, and it was surprising to me, because he was actually saying some of the most insightful things that I've ever heard. Things that I never would have expected to come out of a mouth such as his. But in actuality, I wish I could have taken every single word that I received from him and held it with me forever. And out of all the remarkable content he was speaking about life, one thing really stood out to me. He said that the only thing that really mattered in life, was its glimmers. The little moments in life where you feel alive, where you feel complete. However few there may be, it's what your life is made of. And I couldn't possibly agree more. Because life won't always be simple, people won't always be bearable, the worst will happen to the best of us and there's nothing we can do to change any of it. But we all continue to go on, hoping, that those glimmers in life come around more often than not, and that the best is yet to come for all of us. Life is nothing without those glimmers, it's the only true things that stand out, the moments you remember, and the times that stick with you forever.

Every addiction is just a way to treat the same problem. It's all just another way to find peace and to escape what we know. Language is just our way to explain away the wonder and glory of the world. To deconstruct. To dismiss. People can't deal with how beautiful the world really is. And how it can't be explained or understood." My aim is to put down what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.. if you don't understand me,i'm sorry. I think the world looks better upside down. I read the dictionary for fun and I speak a mixture of gibberish and english all at once. I like summer the most. I like driving to different towns and causing chaos.

It's not about me and it never was. If we're gonna live in the world together, might as well smile right on through it. Sunshine lover and living up my youth. It's never worth it to get upset in the end. At least, I've realized this, since last night. You made me break my kind streak. Sometimes, I spend so much time trying to find books with intriguing covers. I figure if it looks cool, it must be a good book which I'm right most of the time. But still, have I ever taken the time to pick up a book and just start reading it? No, not really. I could be, and most likely am missing out on some really great novels. Kinda like the rest of the world. Because someone looks good, they have a better shot at getting attention to those that don't and I'm really to tired of it. I ignore compliments. Think of me as a revised book. I used to have a boring cover until one day, they decided I was good enough on the inside to make a better looking outside...though I'm still the very same fucking book everyone walked past everyday.

Is it really all about that approval? If we're fortunate or maybe unfortunate enough to get picked up and realized "HEY! It's not that bad after all, in fact, it's GREAT!". You think "here's my chance to prove to you all I am worth a great fucking cover!". Well don't forget, there are critics out there that are gonna bite you in the ass and put you in place too. Though I was found, I've never been able to take advantage of it. But you know what? There are tons of other books out there that are getting surpassed by all of you and let me tell you, some of them are AMAZING, with or without the cover. I just want someone to pick me up and read me and love me. That's all. It's ALMOST blank. Like when you're watching your teacher erase something off the white board but she misses that little bit that you'll stare at for the rest of class. It's almost blank like that. With a little piece I'm stuck on wondering what was there before and where to go now. Currently, I have fallen off the face of the Earth floating in the heavens, sitting on stars. I've seen the showers that came from other galaxies. I've danced on the crevice of all the moons. I've swam in and out of black holes. I have some good stories to tell, but I'll wait. I still have to maintain this private life.

I wonder if anybody wonders about me. Ever think about that? Is someone thinking about you right now and who? When you go out and you see someone you're attracted to but you're too shy to say something. So you go home and just play out different scenarios of how you would've talked to them. I wonder if anybody's ever thought that about me. If they have, I want to know them one day.

I still want to know who that boy was over summer. The only boy to ever introduced himself to me out of thousands of people. He came up, told me he thought I was beautiful and then walked away...FAST! I didn't have time to get his name, let alone see what he looked like. I bet he has know clue that I think about him everyday.But not in that way. I wonder who thinks about me.

I'm lost at sea. The radio is jamming and they wont find me, I swear its for the best and then your frequency is pulling me in closer til I'm home. I've been up for days I finally lost my mind and then I lost my way. I think I could use a little break, today was a good day. Some days all I do is watch the sky. I wish I were a butterfly or a bird. Or maybe her.

I'm a light sleeper. Musically inclined. About as far from innocent as you can get. Narrate life in my head like a book. I'm secretly a time machine. I feel bubbly inside every 3mins or so.

With every passing second comes a second chance,reincarnation. I dont think this time theres room for such experiences. I tend to speak in accents or I mimmick people a lot. I LOVE me some good white chocolate mocha's every now and then. Pretty much, I'm Awesome because when I'm bored I make shooting noises and take my lil candle light and make into a battle ship. My mind is lost somewhere in wonderland.

Control issues aren't my style. I like summer too much. I like being alone or with one person, never really a group. I love being with my two best friends. I'm the advice person, I like cheering people up and making gifts that have meaning. Mix tapes are my forte. I can sing to break your ear drums real well and play piano better, seriously though. I've had a boyfriend, I've had a girlfriend. They both screwed me over. I'd rather have a career than a serious relationship. The tin mans got nothing on me. Clean. Feel the sun on your face. The memories of summer linger. Pure. Breath in the night air and look up at the stars, take in the mysteries of the universe and don't ever solve them. Think. It's all about now. It's about standing still and making sure you do everything you want. Embrace. Your mind is your own sanctuary, dwell and create a new world and bring it to life. Smile. This course of action running through my veins, and I don't feel what you're saying. I'm too high off this adrenalin rush to care. I'm alive, I'm alive.

I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive so I'm gonna start over tonight beginning with you and I. When this memory fades I'm gonna make sure it's replaced with chances taken, hope embraced and have I told you I'm not going cuz I've been waiting for a miracle. We've learned to run from anything uncomfortable we've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know that inside we're broken and I try to patch things up again. To calm my tears and kill these fears. But have I told you I'm not going cuz I've been waiting for a miracle. I'll get it right this time, leave this all behind, it's not faith if you use your eyes.