Transformers for Women came out this week, and I had to see it by myself in a packed theater. It was like hiking at night because I could hear cougars...
Influences
Just got back from visiting my girlfriend in Narnia (that whole time difference really put a strain on our relationship: last time I was there she was a hot model, now she looks like Estelle Getty). For more go to The Harloff and Ellis show on current.com/lowdown.
Members
This is our review of the new Indiana Jones flick on Current.com- Harloff and Ellis show. (Harloff hates it more as he ages; I maintain my lukewarm temperature)
Whether you love me, like Indiana or hate Kristian, post your review at current.com/lowdown.
Mark Ellis's Interests
General
Performing stand-up comedy, writing stand-up comedy, watching stand-up comedy, having strangers watch me do stand-up comedy, watching sports on TV, playing sports, watching myself play sports on TV, eating at corporate chain restaurants, ruling the competitive Tetris landscape, Super Bowl trivia, daydreaming about where Pizza Hut'll hide more cheese
Music
Van Halen, David Lee Roth, Van Halen, Sammy Hagar, Van Halen, Robbie Ellis (not even my bro gets a shout over VH), That one song by Extreme, Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, Skynyrd, The Mydnight Sonn, Pink Floyd, Springsteen, U2, G'n'R, Monday Night Football theme, any score by John Williams, "Hail to the Redskins", Wake Forest Demon Deacons fight song
Movies
Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Jaws, Animal House, Die Hard, Top Gun (volleyball scene edited), Rocky I-IV, Dumb and Dumber, Windy City Heat, any movie preview
Television
Redskins games, Wake Forest games, NFL Films Presents, Anything with Steve Sabol, 24, Lost, Invasion, Supernatural, Letterman, Saturday Night Live (1975-1983; 1987-1996), whatever TiVo tells me to like
Books
Animal Farm, The Great Gatsby, Lord of the Flies, anything that says "Now a major motion picture" on the cover, The Onion collections, anything about any comic or athlete, anything you can color, helpful pamphlets at doctor's office, Cliff's notes
Heroes
Randolph Childress, anyone on Comedy Store wall, Doug Williams, Darrell Green, Art Monk, Van Damme in "Hard Target", Maverick
Wake Forest University
Winston Salem,North Carolina
Graduated: 2002
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Communications
Minor: I beat Super Mario 1 in 6:42
Clubs: 1998 Intramural Basketball champions "Piccolo"
2001 Intramural Football runners-up "Wilco Fuel Plaza"
2001-2002 Intramural Soccer Iron Curtain member "Godzilla Fan Club"
1998 to 2002
Walsingham Academy Upper Schoo
Williamsburg,Virginia
Graduated: 1998
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: Funniest Person in class a record 3 years in a row;
Friends with really popular kids (Doug Whithead, Selby Rawlings, need I say more?);
Got asked to a dance by a girl in 10th grade;
Went to Junior prom with hottest girl in school;
Went to Junior prom post-party by myself
About me: Hello and welcome, won't you? This is my myspace. Instead of paying like $80 a year for a website, this is a trendier, free way to tell everyone in cyberspace that I am a comedian and actor. Recently I was on a season of MTV's Punk'd and you can watch me debate dumb stuff at thebigdebate.com. So I spotted you comic and actor, you can figure out on your own that other talents I have include World Tetris Champion (that includes you, Asia) and mini-golf expert. And no, Putt-Putt is not mini golf. Mini-golf is a respected sport that boasts all of the challenges of it's full-version cousin without the waiting and the $$$. Putt-Putt has big purple giraffes and kids that were accidents.
Who I'd like to meet: Waitresses at Chili's, Members of the Washington Redskins 1937-present (living or dead), Astronauts, Working ninjas, Anyone who can beat me at Tetris, Women who like nice guys with a sense of humor and don't care about looks (all three of you), people with names other than "Tom"
yes....i have to watch all ure reviews from your partners bulletins...for someone who sat 90% of the time on set watching basketball from his computer, you sure dont spend alot of time on this thing
You know I had one more night on the ship after I called you, right? Well, I took your advice and I acted as you would in this given situation. And what can I say, it worked! The Spanish girls totally dug me. Over the blaring Soulja Boy and Outkast songs in the disco, I screamed sweet nadas in their ears and throughout the course of the night, by some miracle, I managed to walk away a winner! Of course, the victory I refer to is not me getting what they call the "Granada blowjob (which I hear involves a paper clip, a cigarette lighter, a spring, and a house cat)," but rather me rubbing one off before going to bed in a spectacular display of failed misery and self-deprecating wit.
At least I'll have some memories of when they THOUGHT I was attractive. Oh well. I'm coming home tomorrow; there's your good news.
i was wondering why i didnt see you on set for the prequil...ohh well i guess they will write you in at the end...its sort of an epic self awarness saga of my characters life. i didnt bother reading the script but im sure you fall into place around the end
Enjoyed the movie reviews. Looks like things are going well for you. I have something I found the other day that might give you a greater appreciation for your job. Enjoy... http://www. breitbart. tv/html/108653. html This is quite possibly the funniest thing I have seen in weeks.
One of my friends in San Diego was talking about the Comedy store today, and I mentioned all the work of my brilliant, yet notoriously inebriated cousin, TV's Mark Ellis!
Free advertisement by word-of-mouth. You'll get famous one day, and who are you going to thank?
MARK ELLIS WILL BE MAKING SWEET COMEDIC LOVE TO THE CITY OF SAN DIEGO.. DON'T MISS THAT (EVEN IF YOU THREW UP IN YOUR MOUTH A LITTLE WHEN YOU JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT)
Mark, looking good. Just saw the Bud Light commercial, very cool. I am a huge Bud Light fan, I have given up my Icehouse days at Wake. Congrats on the commercial, do you get free Bud Light for life in payment?
Sorry Mark, I don't think ESPN makes any Fatheads in the shape of Reginald Veljohnson. When I searched in the query for "fat degenerate old has-been" it just kept coming up with pictures of Ben Roethlisberger with a chat bubble saying "I wonder if I should have sold my soul for this" as he throws what would invariably be another incomplete pass.
Don't expect too much from me here. The only amazing Die Hard memorabilia I could get my hands on, except for the Bruce Willis "Yippee Ki-Ay Motherfucker" pull-string action figures, were some De'voreaux White bobbleheads that, when shaken, reenact the head bouncing scene shown immediately before he crashes into that one black nerd as he tries to escape. Proving once and for all: the power of late 80's rap surpasses all.
Let me know if I should place an order for the wedding. I'm thinking maybe 50-60. You know, one for everyone!
Thanks for the drinks the other night. They were completely unnecessary since I was fully intoxicated already, but I do appreciate you sending me along the road of late night eating and chugging water this morning.
Whether you love me, like Indiana or hate Kristian, post your review at current.com/lowdown.
