Mark Garrison - Rated 1st in Texas! 's Comedian Bio
Bio
Mark Garrison is both a loving husband, a devoted father, and a steadfast rebel when it comes to the word "both." Mark Garrison decided to become a writer so that he could inspire children to learn. He quickly realized there is no hope for today’s youth.
Mark Garrison in various stages of non-alcoholic, insanity induced intoxication.
TV Shows
In fifth grade the news weather man and his camera crew came by and shot some video. We gave him a t-shirt. He said he would wear it on the news and he didn't. Fucking prick. You could see the left side of my head on TV.
Films
Various home made movies. Mostly of me wearing a sombrero and, well, that's it, I'm just wearing a sombrero.
Albums
I have a family album, but it's mostly pictures of me pooping when I was a small child. Good times.
Mark Garrison - Rated 1st in Texas! 's Interests
General
Writing, writing, writing, drinking diet soda's, booty, booty, drinking energy drinks and then tying myself to a chair, playing tennis with big breasted females, writing letters to senators, congressmen and the president asking them to install condom dispensers in all church bathrooms to prevent alter boy pregnancy, giving people the chance to see things differently, charity, clicking every day at The Hunger Site, booty.
Charity: One small way to do something big is to go to these sites every day and click on a button. Those little buttons really do make a difference. It's a small, simple way to help this fucked up world.
Duran Duran, Toadies (singers of my all time favorite song), Jeff Buckley (RIP), LCD Soundsystem, Blur, Minus the Bear, The Kooks, Modest Mouse, TV On The Radio, Under The Influence Of Giants, The Fratellis, My Robot Friend, Coldplay, Rufus Wainwright, Silversun Pickups, Skip James, Little Hat Jones, Craig Ventresco, Dallas String Band, Robert Wilkens, Bloc Party, Depeche Mode, Ghostland Observatory, The Pinker Tones, Lady Sovereign, Dick Desert & The Shotgun Country Club, Scott Lanaway, Aterciopelados, Nortec Collective, Andrea Echeverri, Radiohead, M.I.A., Moxy, Joe Tex, Johnny Cash (RIP), Silversun Pickups, The Bravery, Pearl Jam, Gorillaz, Fatty Poindexter, The Electro Chemists, Dr Dre, Ice Cube, Easy E, NWA, Lupe Fiasco, TI, George Baker, Foo Fighters, Earlimart, Papa Wood, Bill Withers, Lisa Loeb, MANY more.
Movies
THE BIG SNIT (the best fucking movie ever made, hands down), Richard Condie's Family Album, Goodfellas, Godfather series (even 3), Casino, American Psycho, Heat, Ghost World, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Ten, Fight Club, V for Vendetta, any movie involving vampires, anything by Quentin Tarantino, any non-kid movie directed by Robert Rodriguez, movies that I make at home (wink wink, nudge nudge) and many more.
Television
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations.
"Dancing With the Stars" and "Skating with Celebrities" should be outlawed and it's viewers thrown out of a fast moving, burning bus at extremely high altitude.
I'm Mark Garrison. I write both general and comedic fiction as well as create ridiculous media in various forms. Lately, most of my time is spent working on my first full length book. My work has appeared in venues that can be seen over to your left or below.
If you're on my friend's list it's because there's something about you that I admire. However, if we knew each other ten or more years ago, chances are we won't or can't fucking stand each other now. I don't know why but that's just how it generally works out. There are very few exceptions to this rule and I love them dearly. If you want to know more, feel free to call me anytime at (210) 767-3133.
Please help people find hope in the face of really hard times. This organization helps people suffering from depression find the help they desperately need. ANY amount will help. Please donate.
Who I'd like to meet: YOU, YOU, and YOU! Anthony Bourdain, Lisa Loeb, Robin Sydney, Kate Mara, Sarah Silverman, Richard Condie, Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, Ray Liota, Conan O'Brien, Samuel L. Jackson, Thomas Friedman, Levi, fellow conspiracy theorists, anyone as ridiculously ridiculous as I am, anyone who likes the stuff I write, and a literary agent.
Mark Garrison - Rated 1st in Texas! 's Friend Space (Top 40)
Mark Garrison - Rated 1st in Texas! has 3167 friends.
Synopsis A computer savvy wiseguy who doesn't have what it takes to be in the mob is put in charge of doing tech support. His busy day is interrupted when another mafia family sends a goon to collect a special disk being sent to his office with very important data on it.
Yo Mark Garrison - Rated 1st in Texas!, Whenever I listen to your music. I feel like singing too. But your talent is unmatched. How much time you spend to rehearse per day Mark Garrison - Rated 1st in Texas!? Love ya. Te PS:Follow Me Twitter at http://twitter.com/iaent
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