"I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos..... Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi."
Influences
A little bit of everyone...George Carlin (twisted observational), Ellen Degeneres (quirky observational), Rosie O. (chubby girl observational), Steve Martin (just friggin' hilararious), Chris Rock (nasty observational), and you name it, I probably love them for one reason or another. I dare ya, ask me about a comic, and I will tell you what I like about them even if I don't like them. Makes no sense I know, but it does to me....
Members
Me and my vagina...her name is Vivian..... Vivian Vagina from Waterloo.
But my penis says his name is:
OH, AND I AM SOO AWESOMELY GLAAAD TO HEAR THAT THE EEETHTER BUNNY IS ONE OF MY GIRLSSSS! May hagdom live on! THOOOOO THUPER!
TV Shows
I once appeared on PBS at the end of an "Eating Healthy" segment when I was in 5th grade. I have been asked to do a t.v. appearance on Aug. 11th--whoo-hoo!
Films
My sister has done some film work (look up the Torrecilla name), so therefore, some of my DNA has done film as well.
Albums
CLICK ON A PIC TO SEE A CAPTION, DAMMIT!
Mary Torrecilla 's Interests
General
As much crap as I talk about it, my family and the activities they are involved in interest me greatly. Once you have a child with a disease like diabetes, you get all weird and passionate and start buying magnetic shit for your car, buying JDRF themed checks and having a corny myspace layout. But I need to get the word out there: THE SHIT FOR DIABETES IS EXPENSIVE! Oh, yeah, and it, can um, maim and kill, too. And that would be bad. Cuz I like my kid's feet. They are big.
Music
LOVE IT ALL(most)! Especially LOVE Rocka-psychobilly, Metal, Punk, etc...
Movies
40 year-old virgin, stripes, blades of glory, Idiocracy (OMG---LOVE IT)All movies. Love 'em. Good ones, bad ones, ugly ones...I wanna see 'em all (except for the sappy shit). If my estrogen level go up during a flick, then its not for me.
Books
I read them....no really, I do. I read lots...why don't you believe me? Mostly science nerd magazines is my game. Discover, Scientific American oh and Cookie. Its a "Moms with waaaay too much $" mag. I read it 'cuz I want to feel like a Mom who cares about a $2,000 stroller.
I am also loving the Stephanie Plum series. It is not my usual "liste de livres", but it makes me laugh out loud. Which is hard for a book to do that to me.
Heroes
ME...and Um...well, I am sure that are others....OH YEA, MY SISTERS! They RAWK!
About me: I like to be a loudmouth, am currently an aspiring trophy wife now that I am done spitting kids out the ol' hoo-ha. I force my husband to save for my blond extensions, lipo, and stint in rehab. Oooh, surgery 1 just finished: vericose vein removal. My work on being the hottest Gammy on the block is being chipped away bit by bit...thanks Scott! I have three beautiful kids that are a pain in the ass, and I think my stand-up reflects that. If you don't have kids, then thinking what little retards I have in my possession probably won't be very funny to you. Maybe even kind of mean. And you will think, "Gee, she doesn't even deserve them, like I think I will call someone to take them away from her!" Well, I can dream, can't I? But if you DO have kids, aren't they a bunch of little whiny bastards? "Feed me...wipe me...unt ie me...call my real mommy and daddy...." gets old after a while, donnit?
I live for standing up on stage and making people laugh, finding that button that may set you off, and partying until 9 p.m. Yea, I am pretty lame.
The first 5 minutes of the new Tenacious D film, the Pick of Destiny.
Containing the song Kickapoo
Check out my other videos please:
http://www.youtube.com/user/LlamaVids
and
http://www.youtube.com/user/Gizmoi
Who I'd like to meet: Jesus--not 'cuz I'm a Jesus freak , just to see if he has as much of a sense of humor as I think he does. VINCE VAUGHN (I woulda put you first, but I don't think our lord would have liked that very much would he?) Michael Ian Black, Jon Lovitz, Hal Sparks, Steve Martin, Johnny Depp and Paris Hilton. I just want to be near someone who radiates true ignorance and lack of ability like good ol' Pahree. Lots of other people I am too tired to mention, but you're out there. *Update* Steve Carrell, Lewis Black, Will Farrel, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Charile (Chahlay) Murphay and all the celebs that I have added as friends, just to ask which of the profiles is really theirs, and to be the name-dropping whore I so desire to be... Oh and most of all--you!
The GATE Tonight With The Start Of Our Laser Show. Bikini Bullriding Will Be April 18th,2009. Come Hang Out With All Your Friends And Party With The Best! The Main Laser Show Will Be April 18th, Never Seen In Big Rapids!
CHECK OUT MY PAGE IF YA GET A CHANCE, I THREW UP SOME NEW PICS, SOME Q&A, AND DIRECTIONS TO THE SHOP THROUGH YAHOO MAPS AND EVEN NEW BANNERS, IF YA WANT YA COULD EVEN THROUGH ONE UP ON YOUR PAGE IF YA WANNA SHOW SOME SUPPORT :b ANYWAYS I JUST WANTED TO DROP BY REAL QUICK AND SHOW YOUR PAGE SOME LOVE. HAVE A GOOD ONE AND I HOPE TO SEE YA DOWN HERE!
Come on kids Just two clicks once a day and you could get me an audition for "The Big Gay Sketch Show" It's easier then taking your birth control and a lot more fun. If you could just cut and paste the link or try Clicking
I only have two things: my friends and... uh... my thermos..... Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi."
