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What I Want
What I want is people to become
disoriented in their surroundings
Confused about their state of mind
Then maybe experience the perpetual
pain that is underneath all things
This is a form of subtle torture from a manipulation
Words can sometimes get you there
All you have to do is have them written down
Then do everything one can to get them into the
hands of all those you want to suffer
Why suffer?
Because I hate them
And the ability to be ignorant of the forces that
their unable to perceive
The simplicity of their existence is offensive
The mere presence of this shallow joy brings about
disgust that is a puke-ish yellow green
I want to be sick and share it
I don't know if something controls people's minds or
if they're simply stupid
That's irrelevant because this is just an answer or
reason to inflict this disorientation in order to
provoke mass madness
I hate them
I've always hated them
And someday my hate will bring a sobering
flash of awareness
People - Awake!
Hysteria Revolt!
All is left crumbling
So I laugh
Now learn to live
See and feel what you've been missing for years
Its always been here
"Were going to die!"
Yes
To conceive of death is beyond a comprehensible fright
You're not immortal
or happy for that matter
You're alone, confused
I enjoy it
It's so much fun
Would you mind dying for me now?
Here?
Here's a reason
Reason
It's all you have
Now use it to justify what you're about to do
Goodbye
Will you miss me?
And as you go away, remember
Please remember
I am the one that brought this to you
Confused
Incest
Screws
Mutilated nipples
Confused mothers
I thought they were meant for pleasure?
The dog died from second hand smoke
She went into a coma
We didn't find her for two days
So I just put her to sleep
Let me lie here
Like this
I need to be held as if someone loves me again
I'm going to blur the lines with hope
of giving you some satisfaction
Anything for my baby
Fear Is The Father
Fear is the father so the father must die
Then I can live
He has already been dead for years
I'm a tool of karmic fate
His choice would be made for him
Two things happen simultaneously
I transcend, he suffers
Results from a single act
An inevitable action
It has come to do justice
I have to grow so I must hurt
Yes, with all birth there is pain
and in this case death
The fear from the shadow is him
Torn with chance
I've been subdued for too long
Fisted with a dead relationship
The other side is very appealing
with hints of euphoria
Was it meant to be forever?
Fucking Is Never Enough
Her flesh lends insanity
Fucking is never enough
The beast always returns
It is faceless, but you always feel it
Fuck the insistence of release away
just for a few moments of calm
How it never ends
Never ends
Fading
He can not wait until his return
He is drowning in a tired vessel
Muscles saturated in stale depression
The surroundings wreak of exhausted thought
A heavy weight of undefined routine blurs
conscious time
It appears to be an infinite circle that is only
broken with the rise of the sun
The last night is one of a crucified man
He suffers while trying to forget the final breath
It is eternal confusion
Perpetual loneliness in a empty sky
The blue black sky that holds isolation
No one at his feet
No one at his head
Nothing at all but distant dreams
Fading
In Denial
Inability to perceive is learned in denial
Why do you exist?
You're already dead
You were born with death in your eyes
It follows you like an unwelcome shadow of
cloudy dust
Intended Soul
And with one sentence my angel dies
Her eyes fill with bloody tears from a
child that will never exist
Words murder many things and this time
they murdered an intended soul
Forgive me father for I have sinned
I kill off the unborn and waste my seed on
vacant fantasies of gratification
Bring Forth Horror
Deadly little children clawing at your groin
They need to come into existence
The woman help them by way of lust
and go mad with influence from above
They're not compelled by time but a celestial push
that hides itself within nature
A game played by unborn souls looking to
escape the heavens
The men, exhausted from effort to keep
their dominance surrender
Eventually their own seed will destroy them
Some want this as a gateway to immortality
I see it as a fight
Did you know these are the same children
who will rape and murder?
It's an inescapable fact
Purity brings forth horror
Little Girls
I love to think of times when fathers and mothers
look over at their little girls
They love them with all their heart
not thinking about the fact that soon
their little girls will be on their
backs, bleeding
A man fucking their innocence away
And eventually they will love it
The perversions come from you, father
There's nothing that can be done about it
Little girls doing unspeakable things with the
reflection of there creator
Unconscious incest
Numb Apprehension
I don't even know where to begin or end
Go ahead and lie in this cold brick building
as the thoughts rise up to your chest
Outside cars drive on the highway
with people that don't even know they exist
Thick darkness - City sounds
Impossible
The week has been worth nothing but decay
Now destroyed
No money or liquor to soothe the qualms in
this constructed desert night
What's one to do but practice reason and contemplation?
And still the cars go by
Will there be blood by my feet when I awake?
A remnant from used anger expressed through
money,
pain,
lust
and escape
Surrender into the enveloping chaos
Why even try to make sense of
all these things happening?
There's too many of them already along with
numb apprehension
Trying to break out of patterned psychosis
It's already so engrained
The heart beats
Then stops
Then beats again
The lungs fill with air
Little particles that have traveled many miles
just to be with you
Look at the divine smiling
Crooked teeth and all
Excuse me for not laughing
The Beginning
The beginning of who we are
and what we will become
It's not written yet
But it will be
Written with excellent determination
to define what just occurred --
What did just occur?
Bones cracking
Noises from above
Cold air on the skin
Will it all happen again?
Will you ever happen again?
So we're alone ... temptation
This is what honesty looks like:
Worthless -Suffering -Meaningless
A question
To mark your intentions
Unspecific amounts of detail entertain
It's working as we're getting closer
and closer
and closer
With Revenge
Men create enemies through orgasm
Their cocks are stiff with revenge
The girl from the eighth grade
Tortured into something worth dying for
All part of a noisy game that grants wishes
Rules and codes of conduct
There are books written on this
Yes
Torture is allowed
Burning
Moronic death of tolerance
Mid-Sunday afternoon
Winter cool within LA sunshine
Relentless persistence
Nagging hunger outside of thought
Outside of reason
The scent of dead flesh and green salad
mixed with a jingle from an ice-cream truck
Children screaming for satisfaction
Controlled by a lack of discipline and desire
They only know of gratification and verbal
release of uncertainty
Screeching tires introduce adolescence
The world is a poem on fire
Burning
Half Hour Segments
I watch television so I can forget
Enter the realm of present indifference
This is a modern meditation
Millions of people in front of the colored -
glass alter
All focused with one attention
Thoughts working as a collective
Possibility - Endless
But why should we care?
I'm touching my fellow man
Psychically
Half - hour segments of spiritual devotion
and achievement
Beautiful
Episode
What lies ahead?
An episode we've already seen
Live it once again
Automatic Pilot ---- ON!
Programmable direction initiated
Recycled response
Stiff smiles
False understanding
For what?
The small child went missing in the
desert for days
That was a sad show
Or was it a mini-series?
Unfolding before us once again
Haven't we seen this before?
No -- wait
This is somebody new
Don't we know the ending to this?
Did you watch awake and miserable?
Game Over
I have a headache
I can't take it anymore
"There's aspirin in the bathroom"
That's not what I had in mind
"The shotgun is in the bedroom"
Limp body falls to the bed
Screams from the kitchen
Fresh sheets soiled
A boy is losing his virginity in
the apartment below
What a joyous occasion
It's a hopeless relationship
Release and demise
Paramedics and used condoms
Hospitals
The Morgue
Game over
Inevitable Outcome
I guess you were right
Woman's intuition triumphs once again
I could have never foreseen the inevitable outcome
of something that already transpired before history
The relationship was on a continuous loop of
detrimental occurrence and flawed understanding
I had to get away
So many items of hope were left behind
Now they mean nothing
Meaningless faith in material couldn't save us
What I am I trying to say?
Mood saddened with delight
The street lights blow out in honor of my celebration
Whores call to signify correct victory and the feeling
is one of curious hope
Never again
Sometimes we should listen to ourselves speak out
loud in riddles and chants
It's just your pleading seemed so innocent and sincere
But once inside my hands were tied with specific knots
I was forced to be dragged in circles of repetitive pattern
This reintroduced the underground dungeon with
stone and chain
Grays and blacks
Hints of light from above
It never made any sense
So I jumped over the fence and ran
I don't want to hurt you
I want to share my suffering with the world
I want to experience the age and wisdom of
eighteen with the knowledge of now
The conceited wisdom brought invincibility and naive
understanding with perfection in front of me
My head is almost empty
I've been expelling thoughts at a rapid pace
Leaves me with nothing to say
New words are needed
Although I think we know and understand the
scene before us
This is something that will never exist or survive
unless remembered
Mutually extinct mindset and vision
I had to kill it off
Enter the forest of uncertainty and hunt
The recollections of entrapment are wondrous
The idea of taming this wild consciousness is poisonous
Love comes last in this journey
Sorry
No need to fool ourselves
Will we ever die again?
Together?
There is no more language
No more trust
It hurts
Goodbye
With A Crucifix
Defecation Christ
She was sodomized with a crucifix
Doesn't know any better
Wanted Jesus inside her
Was it good for you... Jesus?
Loneliness
And this is loneliness
In a car driving
Night
Empty roads
Dimmed streets lights
The hum of tires
Radio DJ speaks passionately of welfare
mothers, beaten children and government
enforced sterilization
And this is loneliness
Parking lot
Empty cars
Last to arrive
Step out and look at the night sky
Faded stars from the city lights
The broken moon shines upon your face
and only you
Nothing but distant sounds accompany your
footsteps as you walk to your destination
And this is loneliness
The hallway
No crowds
No wait for the elevator
No eye contact or meaningless conversation
It's a clear smooth ride to the front door
And this is loneliness
Dinner for one
Single plate
Single glass
Talk to a blank - paged book
Your voice is black ink on white paper
Your response is fatigue
And this is loneliness
Space in bed
Three extra pillows
Not one added breath
Solitary breathing
A sure sign of isolation
Existence is on the other side of a
window that is locked
And this is loneliness
Dream Killers
Will you love me at a later time, God?
As for now I will walk the cold streets
to search for you in distraction and fame
I find cruel thought and faceless dream-
killers that infect all purity brought before them
It's odd being controlled by these blank beings
who only exist when they desire
Or is this a perceived existence rooted in faith?
Hollywood moguls and gods
Almighty dealers of the human spirit
Powers obtained by those who instill it
Millions of souls infused into ego
At one time these were just men
Who wrote the holy books?
Who wrote the latest script that was made
into movie gold?
Were did the immortality come from?
Men who forfeited their free will and thought
to uphold the delicate paper that captured
and held the ink
All of this in hopes to ascend into the heavens
The heaven of silver-lined clouds?
Of giant picture deals with six-figure salaries?
Or self-serving ego monuments feared and
coveted by everything and everyone
You choose
It's all the same
A grand joke
But we all believe
Therefore this is the word of truth
Compensation
A rusted nail found in freshly picked flowers
Drops of dew from the melon's skin
Fresh sex in dirty bodies
The smell will kill you
New born babies and fast cars
Government goons
They will get you
This thought is too erratic to prosecute
Although I should watch what is written
That will make more than one watching
(Everybody)
War satellites
Fascist regimes
Conquered dreams and bloody land
Covert business ventures
Planes
Bombs
Missiles
Bullets
Nuclear Consideration
Results and compensation for an underfed
lust stomach
Doesn't know if he should fight or fuck
Doesn't know if his wife is his mother
Here eat some of this, son
It will purge the sins away
Candy-coated genocide
A family cure-all
It's been passed down for generations
Please come to the baptism on the military
base made for war
The priest politician uses water with genetic
profiling technology
On This Day
Torture in birth
Slit wrists and puppy dogs licking the wounds
Bodies twisted in orgasmic fear
Old skin and rotting flesh
This is not what we planned for
Her hair was many colors
but she only knew how to do one thing
And that was laugh... nervously
The eagle can only agree
Strange hallucinations of blue and red mountain tops
existing in layers
Reality is out of alignment
and being perceived by one brain cut in half
This is something other than the world
Out of the way
Out of all conception that was born on this day
Shut Off Your Breath
Millions of electric shocks introduce hell
Suffering from incestuous unrelenting thought
This is self-destruction
This is the production of insanity
Quick!
Watch me go into the end
and out of the beginning
Watch me go wild on reds and blondes
Watch me go to a place of confused worship
Watch me touch a child
Look at the kids with the eyes of the devil
pierce my facade
No biting into freshly spanked-buttocks
It's all within the five-year nightmare
A scheme to get between your legs
and thrust
Time to fade
Shut off your breath and die
Quietly
I mustn't be disturbed while trying to cum
Lust Money
A strip club in the middle of a war zone
It glows from hovering fascist helicopters
and bright pink neon lights
Inside gold and silver poles are wet from
drool soaked dollar bills and sweaty palms
Greed gyrates and slithers on display in the
form of unattainable woman
Their cunts are luring mouths, singing the
song of enticement
Lust money
Lust money
Lust money
It's a mantra to all those who ascribe to
this unforgiving lifestyle
Under this one roof we have the two most powerful
elements in all of reality
Although it is unbalanced due to the fact that one
of the participants in this charade is insincere
A very troubling scenario when one brings together
the possibility of flesh and currency
Add alcohol and magnify the urgency of the dire
outcome that will exist in this volatile relationship
Hard-earned cash and stiff cocks can only
confuse the mind
How can I comprehend these opposites?
Could this be the true root of all evil?
Does the marriage of these two cause the birth
of what we know as immoral?
Lust hides in rape and molestation
Money can lead to various levels of dishonesty
and murder
So it seems the two in unison will bring about
some abstract form of the devil himself
And from this manifestation perfect evil is spread
into eternity
The atmosphere is a breeding ground for
egotistical insanity
Can anything be understood after your innocence
has been utterly destroyed?
Everywhere
Now I see poems everywhere
Everything is an artistic vision
Perfect and complete waiting to be pulled
from one's subjective state
Made into something that will exist infinitely
All these pieces are just records of things
that occur in and out of time
Maybe painted with some unnaturally
present color --
Does it bring about response?
Good
Everything is so beautiful at times I want to die --
How could I possibly record all that is?
Confused
I hear voices outside
Indistinguishable chatter
Like little bugs running over each other
Confused
What are they doing up at this hour?
This is a time for dreaming and facing things
in odd ways that require suspended understanding
The minds are lost within our heads
The soul needs to come forth and claim
the prevalent position
Living without thought is one thing but living
in shallow thought is another
It brings about an indifference that is deadening
It will scrape the shine from your eyes
and leave vacant holes of nothingness
I want what they want
They want what millions have
Are we speaking of love?
I don't think so
Lust driven action
Occurrence
Doubt
Desire
Why do woman lie?
"Because we're ashamed"
They have the wear and tear to prove it
Broken Dream
She carved his name in her stomach
Filled it with black candle wax
Dreamt of his blood on her lips and tongue
Wanted to imbibe the influence that seems
to be so inescapable
Absence of this and madness settles in for sure
The obsession is a common occurrence of the day
This is what she does:
My body is yours for the abuse
Please hurt me
Make me suffer by your hand
I want to feel death from your fingers
Dominated by a god of mortal beginnings
Shrines of worship
Instructional tapes of confusion
Is this a broken dream?
She touched my face and I ate her
Never again will I be clear of distant gratification
Waiting
A twelve year old cunt waiting
This should be a scene of disguised rape
but instead it's a funeral
What happened to this tired cock
saturated in despair?
Invincible warrior of lust with your weapon
of satisfaction
I miss you
I miss you and your boiling distractions
of little death
Is it true that this is the end?
What a way to concede in the face
of such beauty
A granted wish is meaningless if given beyond
the place from where it was conceived
It's like an answer given to a question
that was forgotten
What will we do now as the impressive
numbers reminisce of wild times and
unstoppable action?
Reincarnation through medication?
Youth inside of a needle?
A possibility
What else if left after the feasts of flesh
have transpired?
No longer compelled to nourish oneself by skin
What occupies the space?
The infinite whole that connected us to primal
understanding of hunted victory?
What else is worth death?
Complex Toys
Billion dollar playboy lost in the monotony
of the world
Only sees it as something that bides his time
This is a way to meaningless death that will
once again render him equal with fellow man
Until then go ahead and reign through excessive
monetary superiority and intelligent ego
Open your mouth and spill forth empty pleadings
to purchase living projects
But this is not just about flesh, is it?
People are complex toys
Behavioral manipulation is the object of
the organic game
Strung out and abused we wonder
"How is this possible?"
How did his power become exerted over all
moral judgements and beliefs?
So wake up and realize that we're play
things that breath
With this realization understand the inevitable
Give me a moment to explain this time
to Mr. Monetary Ejaculation
Someday the fortress of dollar bills will be nothing
but numbers as you lie in the bed with the morphine I.V .
The young nurses are disgusted by your old stench
and secretly hold their noses
Your brain is bruised from indulgence of chemicals
The pain almost hurts as much as the loneliness
It has feasted upon your soul
The glimpse of a possible hell comes into focus
as your breathing becomes shallow and forced
You asked yourself what just happened because
nothing makes sense anymore
And maybe for a very specific second you understand
nothing ever did
Money was a false enlightenment
The drugs were to confuse the subconscious
ramblings of guilt
Your true life didn't exist for many years
Now it never will
One Man Speaks
Can we find God in anger?
In burnt hair on the summer ground?
In green grass and fresh wet dirt?
In everything?
The rolling hills are living with a heart beat
Let us go out to the middle and make a fire
We'll sit and talk of things that have no meaning
We'll reminisce and contradict everything over
the course of the evening
Under the night sky that shouts stars swirling
above our heads
We go deeper into abstract musings and contemplation's
One man speaks of his desire to live on the sea
A deep dark blue sea with rolling water into eternity
The vision is broken by a bug crawling on his leg but
soon we're all lost again in hope by the hypnotic
movements of the fire
The flames, in form of dancing premonitions, foretell the future
Bright orange flames are alive with endless information of
everything that can not be conceived
So how many here need to see something beyond the
carefully distributed propaganda and corporate-sponsored logic?
This could be the journey of the uninformed coming into reason
We could have a lapse of judgement and do something
dangerous such as the four boys driving in a silver sports car
One Hundred Fifteen Miles Per Hour
The two in the back don't care
Anytime they could be taken
Does it matter that there is a deer ahead waiting to annihilate
the indifference racing towards it?
They won't be introduced tonight
Sorry boys
Better luck next time
Or should we mention the cat girl who invited the young man
up to her room?
The parents weren't home
She asked him under the pretense to see how rooms of
teenage girls looked
He observed every corner as she lie in her bed hoping
Nothing occurred because of disbelief and inability to
conceive of possibility
His hips were as far away from hers as possible while there
lips touched
That was fun
Nice room
Eternally Ambiguous
I am a murderer
I am an angel
I am in-between the sexes
I do not exist except in your perceptions
I appear from your desire
I am a chameleon
Eternally ambiguous
No form
Today I am this
Tomorrow I'm that
Flexible and undefineable
I mold to your perfection
Therefore becoming perfection
But only to you
Ten Worlds
Ten worlds inside of a city built on dreams
Relentless determination encased by invisible mountains
Borders and edges with a common thread
The all star police
A lost baton acquired in a parking lot bent from beating
Exhaustion
Bitterness
Anti-depressant medication
Hurry up and swallow your pills
Your getting mean
Random occurrences picked, plucked and fucked
Collagen injected lips
Coke whores
Wild eyed children in search of the rock cock fantasy
Movie streets
Recognizable faces
And those sounds
All of the sounds....
Lost
Let's escape from the red basement
There's a whole world out there
Rainbow stars and a three dimensional moon
hang suspiciously low from the numb black sky
Warm snow stretches across the land and invites
us to run through it forever
Can we break from the domination of the group?
They are different from us
Snakes and lizards were on display just moments ago
They expressed there hunger for freedom
It was instilled within our soul
This is why we run
I ran for three thousand miles and arrived in the desert
only to become lost searching for that night
I still carry the essence deep inside
If we could of only known that time was going to end
Anything
Searching
Absence
Confusion
Enjoyment
Sleep
Connection
Death
We don't need to speak of anything specific
Words are nothing but sounds
Interpretation is everything
Little teenage mall tramps don't care
There learning how to take a finger which will
eventually lead to a fist
And the occasional hurt crotch with the question
Did anything happen last night?
They went from lipstick to blowjobs
Now there are so many lies
Realize that men want to believe everything in support
of there dominance
A foolish lion eats her first child and grins
A soldier kills his first enemy and cums
A young girl is castrated and never heals from the wound
Severed hands and feet
Caned buttocks
Diseased cocks
Will you ever cheat on me ...God?
I'd fuck him if he asked
A simple deviation
No correlation
Raped prison guard beats his son
What is ecstasy Jesus?
See the dirty feet walking on the white carpet?
That's all this is
Nothing can cleanse the world
We are progressive demons
We are here to annihilate
I've been looking for some books to read on Occultism and Satanism, any recommendations? I tried getting one of Crowley's books, but it was full of shit about learning Hebrew, and didn't have anything to do with the religion part of it..
About time you got a hair cut....you hippy! ok now it doesn't have the same effect! You look like Glenn Danzigs younger brother Carl, Carl Danzig, you know he works over at the AM/PM on off Rt 78 in Lodi!
Hey you got some big things going on I see. Gonna be sweet to see your brand of Satanism out there. I will surely be interested in the book. Stay brutal Angel Killer. In excelsi ego! S xoxo
good luck on your show tonite, hope last night went well for you and the boys, get yer asses up to bozeman and play with us! and I haven't forgotten our installment agreement.. keep rockin and grillin in the backyard Lordo -billy and ALPs
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