ABOUT US:
Known for smart, dangerous, inventive writing and fearlessly committed performances, MEAT is one of the most critically acclaimed and respected groups on the sketch festival circuit.
"Top drawer sketch comedy innovators... MEAT is all over it all of it" CHICAGO TRIBUNE
"The best groups, like New York's own MEAT...keep the action quick and the concepts sharp and simple." THE ONION
"Tasty and nutritous comedy" VILLAGE VOICE
"I'm a vegetarian who loves MEAT." JIM GAFFIGAN
CRITIC'S PICKS The Onion Time Out Chicago The Village Voice 1010 WINS Radio
AWARD NOMINATIONS: Emerging Comics of New York Awards: Best Sketch Group Emerging Comics of NY Awards: Most Fucked Up Thing I Saw All Year
We were also named BEST PERFORMERS of the 2006 Chicago Sketch Festival by the Chicago Tribune, shared billing with GLORIA STEINAM & LEWIS BLACK, received standing ovations at the NY Sketch Festival, DC Comedy Festival, San Francisco Sketch Festival, Vancouver Sketch Festival, Seattle Sketch Festival, Chicago Sketch Festival, the Best of the Best Sketch Festival, and most importantly, made BILL CLINTON'S JOKE WRITER pee in his pants. Yeah!!!
GIRAFFE BIKINI INSPECTOR .......A giraffe MAN...........Jeff Snorkel WORLD'S GREATEST GRANDPA...A grandpa WORLD'S GREATEST GOLFER....A golfer NUMBER 1 DAD......A dad
(Four people and a Giraffe are waiting in line at the Rose Festival to ride the Gravitron - the Most Vomity Ride Ever Concieved in a Brain. They all hold mugs with sayings on them. MAN speaks.)
MAN: SO...I can tell by your various mugs that I'm standing in line at the Rose Festival waiting to ride the Gravitron with none other than you, World's Greatest Grandpa, and you World's Greatest Golfer, also you Number 1 Dad...AND YOU Giraffe Bikini Inspector! Boy! I'd sure be lying if I said that I wasn't in fantastic company.
WORLD'S GREATEST GOLFER: So what do you do?
MAN:(Pulls out a mug with Garfield the Cat on it looking sleeeeepy and mad) I'll tell you what I DON'T do!.....MONDAYS! At least NOT UNTIL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE!
ALL :HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!
(They all laugh until they die and don't get to go on the ride.)
Thanks for the add, ladies! It was great seeing your show in Portland a couple of weeks ago. One of the highlights of the whole fest for me (just like every year) was your show.
SO - I will finally see Camp Blood in Portland...Ted had better not put us after you so we can see it...or else, he'll be the Camp Blood, know what I mean, leh-dehs?
hey:) what's up? i'm performing on Friday, June 22 in NYC! it's gonna be a "SPECIAL INDUSTRY EVENT", so i hope you'll join me. Only a portion of the tickets will be made available to the public, so tickets are limited.
Thanks for the Add. Lakeshore Theater has some amazing comedy shows coming up that you wont want to miss! Check out our calendar and get tickets on our profile or at www.lakeshoretheater.com!
I was walking down the street, three years ago, and I saw a red sticker that said, "meat".
I thought that was funny. Meat. So, I put it on my nalgene bottle. Eventually I came across another sticker that said "desire". I placed that on my nalgene as well.
I was on a train in washington DC on the way to march for women's lives and a girl said to me, "I like them... meat, they are really funny." Only then did I read the rest of the sticker, "Rare sketch comedy blah blah blah".
Now that I know you actually exist I greatly look forward to laughing at you.
Did you guys get to pelt the Village Children of New York with candy? Isn’t that a tradition? After you pelt the children with candy, the Village Crone comes out (wearing a mask of porridge and hoses for eyes) and spins in a circle thrice whilst pointing her stick. She then stops, and whomever the stick is pointing to has to play the part of 'Yellow Dog-Yellow Dog' (the Yellow Dog) in the Village Pantomime called: “Eat The Kandy, Yellow Dog-Yellow Dog Or You Shall Have A Beating!” The play is then performed, finishing with Yellow Dog-Yellow Dog fighting a robot turkey and then all of the Village of New York celebrates the night by trading toothmarks on a piece of gum or taffy as a sign of good will.
These are then all put in a fire for safekeeping.
Anyway...did you do any of this? Am I confused or just thinking of something else?
J.
It was great to see you all again! And thank you so much for coming out to the show - wish I could have seen yous again afore you left. Come back to LA soon!!!
MEAT sent me flowers yesterday. Do you know what that's like? For me, it's like coming home and finding a note and sheet music on your doorstep that says: "We wrote you a little song". And the song is "Penny Lane". And it's from The Beatles.
You guys came to the DC area a few months back. I FELL IN LOVE. If you guys are ever in this area again, I might break some necks trying to see you! (ok, maybe not that extreme, but I'll definitely step on some people trying to get there)
