Let Me Introduce You to My Mother
Did I ever tell you about the time my mom held
a gun in the face of intruders who wanted
to mark us or kill us or rape the other daughter?
But my mom ….she was having none of it.
GET ON THE COUCH YOU BITCHES! Mom yelled right in their faces
while the gun said hello to them right in their faces.
The kind of gun hello that says yes, this gun, this gun,
is going off. Then mom held still with her target in sight.
She told them it was loaded. It was. I was surprised
these four big women could fit on the new couch.
We had heard intruders were coming.
But I was not in control at all…of Mom, or the situation.
But I warned them. YOU BETTER LISTEN! MOM WILL SHOOT YOU!
I tried to give these four women a pathetic chance. I said,
YES…SHE WILL SHOOT YOU BITCHES. SHE’S GOING TO DO IT!
My voice gave away that this kid has seen her mom do some shit before.
I knew what had happened to Mollie. She was going to testify.
So these big black women thought it would be easy. To scare a 14-year-old away.
But mom was home. And so was her new couch. And we never
had anything new. But this new couch held a bunch of women protecting
a child rapist. So Mom held that gun on them until the police came
to take them away. Thank God. Thank God.
Thank God mom didn’t want to shoot her new couch.