...photography, art, writing, indoor rock climbing, snowboarding, mountain biking, running, yoga and cardio kickbox classes, tattoos, piercings, reading, my dogs, vegetable gardening, cooking/baking, going places where i get to dress up, pool parties, random road trips with friends, bonfires at stinson beach, watching the sun set and the moon rise, mind altering substances, monkeys...
..
...tori amos, fiona apple, apoptygma berserk, bauhaus, bjork, bloc party, bowie, the bravery, cake, chemical brothers, crystal method, the cure, the clash, combichrist, death cab for cutie, depeche mode, the faint, fischer spooner, filter, garbage, good charlotte, gravity kills, green day, gorillaz, guano apes, guns n' roses, hypernova, killers, kmfdm, ladytron, led zeppelin, linkin park, lords of acid, ministry, miss kitten, modest mouse, muse, my chemical romance, my life with the thrill kill cult, nine inch nails, pixies, portisehead, prodigy, radiohead, ramones, ramstein, rancid, rasputina, she wants revenge, smashing pumpkins, sisters of mercy, squirell nut zippers, switchblade symphony, velvet acid christ, weezer, white stripes, wumpskut, yeah yeah yeahs, rob zombie and lots more i'm sure i left out. generally i listen to alternative rock, punk rock, techno/electronic, industrial, and goth music. i absolutely hate country, most rap, most hip hop, and christian rock...
Movies
...iron man, transformers, stepbrothers, the boondock saints, 300, fight club, pineapple express, run lola run, zoolander, super troopers, the royal tenenbaums, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, being john malkovich, american history X, sin city, batman begins, fear and loathing in las vegas, requiem for a dream, real genius, out cold, super troopers, half baked, ghostbusters, evil dead, army of darkness, nightmare before christmas, edward scissorhands, big phish, corpse bride, labyrinth, dark crystal, office space, grandma’s boy, interview with the vampire, american beauty, sleepy hollow, from hell, blow, virgin suicides, traffic, what dreams may come, catch me if you can, butterfly effect, ocean’s eleven, seven, a beautiful mind, the usual suspects, dark city, mr. & mrs. smith, a christmas story, lucky number sleven, green mile, shawshank redemption, wedding crashers, fantastic four, constantine, and many more. i have a varied taste in movies and like all genres, what i watch just depends on my mood...
Television
...the shows i watch consistently right now are heroes, house, friends (on dvd), project runway, top chef, americas next top model, simpsons, family guy, and american dad. there are a few others that i watch when i’m bored. i also like watching discovery channel a lot; i like the shows about space, undersea, and surgeries or weird medical conditions. i hate that the t.v. is almost always on in my house but i can't bring myself to have the cable shut off. someday...
Books
...one of my favorite books is an art book called “Pictures of Girls” which is a collection of paintings by an artist named Zak Smith. his work is frank miller-esque which is a style i really like. i like art books but they aren’t cheap so i don’t have very many. i do have a lot of photography books, mostly on technique and mostly unread. i love to randomly flip through my old Art History textbook. my favorite fiction author is Anne Rice and before i got poor and sold my books i had almost every book she’s ever written, “Queen of the Damned” and the “Witching Hour” being my favorites. i recently read through the twilight series from stephanie meyer (twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn), not realizing how much hype it had but really enjoying the series as well as her other book "the host," so much that i have to say she's probably pushed anne out of my number one author spot. i also used to be a pretty avid comic reader, but not mainstream comics. my comic collection right now contains many issues of poison elves, dawn, lenore, squee, johnny the homicidal maniac, gloom cookie, bondage fairies, crimson and some other miscellaneous alternative comics. i still have a copy of my favorite book from fifth grade, “the witch of blackbird pond” ...
University of Phoenix - Concord Learning Center
Concord,CA
Graduated: 2005
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Business Management
Clubs: ...the "i hate fucking UOP and can't believe i wasted my time and money on this joke of a school" club...
2003 to 2005
Diablo Valley College
Pleasant Hill,CA
Graduated: 2002
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Associate's Degree
Major: Liberal Arts
Minor: Goofing Off
...i try to be optimistic, but i consider myself realistic, but more often than not i lean towards being pessimistic...
...depression and anxiety and mood swings run my life. i try not to let them, and sometimes i succeed. i have medications but i stopped taking them a while ago...
...i wish that i was manic depressive instead of just depressive so i could at least look forward to being manicly happy...
...i see a therapist but i think most shrinks are full of crap...
...i want to be possitive, but being negative is so much easier...
...i'm possessive and jealous...
...i want to be around other people, but only on my terms...
...i'm shy when i don't know you but can be outgoing when i do...
...someone once told me that my shyness comes of as being "stuck up"...
...i would love to just pack a bag and move to another country, but i've never been far away from my family...
...i want others to make decisions for me and give me advice, but only when it's what i want to hear...
...i like to give people advice about things i think i know, even when they don't want it, and i rarely follow it myself...
...up until my 21st birthday i had no regets; now i have many that haunt me, a handful of which completely tear me apart inside...
...i have a hard time communicating my thoughts and feelings, so i stay quiet. and i cry. a lot...
...i hate it when i cry because it makes me feel weak...
...i want to be strong and dominant and able to take care of myself, but at the same time i want to be held tight and
taken care of...
...money is always on my mind 'cause i don't have any and owe way too much of it...
...i like to drink but not on a worknight and never alone, so i don't drink often...
...i like to go to the goth/industrial clubs and dance but not on a work night and never alone, so i haven't been in over two years...
...i tell the lady i work with it's ok to wear skater shoes 'cause you're only as old as you feel. i thought about her when i was in front of my bathroom mirror pulling about a dozen gray hairs off my head, feeling like i was about a hundred years old...
...i like drugs, recreationally, i admit it. marijuana, acid, ecstacy, nitrous. i've tried other stuff but didn't like it. i don't do drugs often anymore 'cause the few people that i feel safe doing drugs with either stopped using long ago or are stuck on drugs i'm not interested in doing. somtimes i smoke a joint with my brother but it's just not the same...
...i'm nosy and hate being kept out of the loop, but i don't like to share all and when i hear rumors about myself i get angry...
...i consider photography my passion and i want to go to art school, but i let my doubts and my debts get in the way and keep me from doing anything about it...
...i like to be around artists, but i hate it when other people say they do photography too 'cause i want it to just be my thing...
...i like being around people that are smart, but i hate it when i'm not the smartest person in the room...
...i fear failure and let that fear keep me from doing a lot of things in life...
...i recently found out that two of the most important people in my life don't hang out with me anymore because they think i'm an unhappy person and i really resent that anyone would think of me that way, especially since i didn't become unhappy 'till they stopped talking to me...
Your Element Is Fire
Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.
You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.
Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.
You are deeply emotional and very connected to everything (and everyone) around you.
By simply understanding other people, you are able to help them heal and let go.
While you are a very deep and thoughtful person, you do have a very silly, superficial side.
When you are too blue: the weight of the world's problems hangs over you
When you don't have enough blue: you lack perspective and understanding
Dreamy and idealistic, you've created a world that is all your own.
It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy.
You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society.
You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world.
You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.
Conscientiousness:
You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.
Agreeableness:
You have low agreeableness.
Your self interest comes first, and others come later, if at all.
In general, you feel that people are not to be trusted.
And you're skeptical that anyone else really feels differently.
Neuroticism:
You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
Who I'd like to meet: ...anne rice, stephanie meyer, zak smith, rivers quomo, hugh laurie, tim burton...
...people who can put up with my personality and be a real friend. people who can handle the fact that i'm needy.
people who will accept what i am and not try to "fix" me. people who are willing to hug me and not let go when i just need to be held. people who don't just call me a friend, but ACT like my friend too. people who want more from me than to be another number on their "friend list". people who actually return my calls or make the effort to call me. people who can make plans and commit rather than say they want to go out and then flake at the last minute or just not show up. people who share my interests. people to go snowboarding with in the winter and biking with in the summer...oh, and maybe some hot bi chicks that i could share with my boyfriend...
...who i don't want to meet: people who are only looking for sex, 'cause i'm really not interested. people who are as pessimistic as me 'cause they just get me down even more and i don't know how to help you. people who are overly optimistic 'casue they just get annoying. optimism is great, just not when it comes out like your a cheerleader cheering for life. people who are overly religious 'cause i lack religious faith and don't need someone telling me to trust in jesus and that god will take care of me in the end. it's ok if you're religous, i wish i could have faith like that, but i would prefer that you keep it to yourself. and bands/musicians. look at my music interests, if you don't fit into the type of
music i listen to then there's no chance of me adding you so don't bother. if you fit in a music genre that i say i don't like and still try to add me then please go jump off a bridge...
Happy Birthday sug.... well for tomorrow, I won't be home early enough to post it at a decent time so I'll just hit ya up early :) . Hopefully it is at least slightly better than your average Tuesday. If not, pick up a rock and throw it at someone at random. If they catch you, say "hey, its my birthday asshole. "
Was in Sunriver Oregon for a Dental Conference. Full of lectures and silly white old guys drinking and golfing. Dentists are a funny bunch. :) Are you taking a vacation? :) xoxc
Hey Monkey! Barry's birthday is April 4th. We are gonna have a hot car wash and dress up in bikinis and short shorts. And eat hot dogs. Keep the day open and come hang out! :)
Yeah...Bob was off, so we ended up playing D&D all night at his friend's house. I may or may not go to Redding for my Mom's b-day this weekend, I'll keep you updated.
