Tom sucks as a friend! I needed $20 the other day and that big headed fool wouldn't loan it to me! Don't ever ask me for ANYTHING, Tom. All you'll get is my foot up your ass!
I'm glad to see that Tom is a close and personal friend of Michael Landon's Ghost. If memory serves me correctly, he was the headbanger up front at the Crown Skate Park show in Dechard.
How we know Chuck Norris is a bad ass....
*Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
*Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
*Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
*Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
*Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
*There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
*The leading causes of death in the U.S. are 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
*Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
*When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
*Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
*A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
*The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
*Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
*Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
*Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
*Chuck Norris was the original Danny Tanner on the hit family sitcom, "Full House". He was replaced by Bob Saget after an unfortunate incident with one of the Olsen triplets.
*When Chuck Norris was driving he saw a sign that said, "Caution: Small Children Playing." So he slowed down, but then it occurred to him: Chuck Norris isn't afraid of small children.
*If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Witchiepoo Loves her some M.L.G!
