About me: I am a father of five wonderful kids. I have the most wonderful wife. She is my best friend and is there for me in all that I do. I have been 30 for 10 years now(I think I have this middle age stuff Down).
Just stopping by to let you know that I just released my new single, "Long, Long Time". It's now available to listen to and download. Give it a spin and let me know what you think!
I hope that you're having a great summer on "The Lake"...
Thanks so much for your friendship. I hope you have had a minute to stop by and listen to my music and check out my tour dates and stop out to one of my upcoming shows. It is Classic rock and country show!!
STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand newstud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up And I am taking over..'
The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'
The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.'
The old rooster takes off running.. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch When he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking And running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, 'Dammit.......Third gay rooster I bought this month.'
Moral of this Story? ....
Don't mess with the OLD FARTS -
Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery Always overcome youth and arrogance! OLD DUDES RULE
LIFE IS SHORT... DANCE NAKED AND WIGGLE YOUR BUTT!!
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
Hey! For some reason I couldn't leave a message on Laura's page..so you're just gonna have to tell her for me! There was a pic of me & Ash that she wanted..so let her know it's on my Myspace & she can steal it from there!!
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time..... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together in a little mole hole.
One day, papa mole sticks his headout of the hole, sniffs the air and said, ' Yum! I smell maple syrup!'
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said, 'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'
Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't because the bigger moles are in the way. This makes him whine, 'Geez, all I can smell is....
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'
Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.'
'What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said, 'I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.'
'And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
'I would say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, to whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.''
Thank you for the Easter wishes. I hope you have a really nice day with your family, don't eat TOO much, you don't want to end up like me, bloated and passed out on the couch! Happy Easter.
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