sadness dances in her eyes

November mend

The wind blew cold
And the leaves began to pack their bags away.
The ground with its spongy feel of ice
Kept all the rats and mice at bay.

The magik fairy,
With his rubber boots and dress
Kept the “hounds of baskerville”
From creating another, shitty mess.

The cabin created a look of empty darkness
As the pumpkin heads began to fall.
It looked confusing, abandoned,
As if no one was ever home at all.

Deep inside you could hear the pleasant of a healing whisper
As the elf woke up
And began his attempted movement
With “the feeble” of a crawl.

Bilbo sat in his repeated, cornered perch
And peered upon the childlike elf.
Remembering,
Twenty-five years ago,
He was peering at himself.

The sweats would come,
The slime from deep within,
The screaming pain from moving marrow,
But, the fucking demon would not win.

The manik, magik fairy,
The watcher,
The guardian the gate
With the help of earth mothers magik
Will protect the purity and innocence of the elf
And prevent the filling up of the demons
Full of empty plate.

With hope and faith
Healing time for all the lonely, frightened elves
Will never come too late.

bilbo

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Magik eagles

Magik eagles flew over angry, crying seas
Powered by a gentle wind to give me a quiet, inner comfort
As I crawled on shaking, spinning knees
While my frightened, twisted, baffled mind
Cried out in pain and fear for ease again
From my endless, hungry need to fucking score again!

Magik eagles flew to bring me close to you.
Set my weary, elfish soul free again.
Help me lose all my control and feel your magik touch.
Help me heal from my disease that hurts in me so fucking much!
Magik eagles let me feel the ancient teachings.
Let me feel the watchers’ way come in.
Give me strength in all my weakness
With earth mothers’ safe and sane control again.
Let this elf become himself and enter in.
Let the wind contain my soul and bring it back to me.
Let all the fires of the earth burn the demons’ crave.
Give me freedom to remove my deadly, hungry want
To find and dig my own private, shallow grave.

Let the oceans gently wash my inner mind.
Let your cleaner “eagle” thoughts be the ones I find.
Let my music and my song be freely given to one and all.
Let me share the ancient, secret, magik rhythm
With earth mother and her precious call.
Let me see the perfect, humble elf you see in me.
Let your magik, healing feathers float gently down on me.
Let the watcher, in his brightest darkness,
Protect and watch the humble, little elf in me.
As you fly above my head so high
Please keep a watchful, cautious eye on me.
Please take kind and gentle care of me,
The humble, little elf so free in me.
Set me free from the demon seed.

Please help me see the perfect elf
Please help me be a cleaner me
As the watcher watches me.
I now can rest my weary, old control
And simply be what I was so afraid to be,
A happy, little, maleish, boyish, elfish. . . . . . me!

bilbo

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A gentle soul

It must be strange
To find a watcher rearrange his day
To solely seek the elf
And help him find his way,
To focus only on the elf,
To care and give a moment of himself,
To stand in darkness and put a light upon the elf.

It might bring fear.
It might bring pain and ache.
Its’ simple goal is for you to take a fearless look inside
And see the wonders that you hide,
But not so well,
For I can see the wishing well
And feel your morning tide!

A gentle soul is buried deep
With a rage and anger it fights to keep.
The demon death, it won't give up.
It fights to never sleep.

It will not win.
A letting go will take its place again.
The elf will feel and see his soul
Without the weight of his own control.
He’ll see and feel a humble glow
That comes from our within.

The watcher simply said,
“This elf of mine won’t end up dead!
I'll guard the gate with no mistake
As demons seek a second helping on their plate.
I’ll spew the rhyme and seal their time and fate!
I’ll watch the quiet elf and wait!”


bilbo

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wonder and dispair
which one will take the cake
for in one is a blissful state
the other tends to the brokenhearted estate
fill with answers
to questions told before
in the middle of this clearing glow
make yourself at home
this the heart telling this tale of lore