Comments are now approval-only, meaning you can write me messages through my comments, and yes... I read them all. :)

SIDE NOTE: comments containing pictures in them will most likely not be posted. My page is already slow enough without your ostentatious "thx 4 da add" picture sucking up all my precious bandwidth.

So what to say about myself? I'm Meyli. The REAL Meyli (there are a ton of fakes floating around this site). Oh, and I don't want to join your god damn mob. So quit asking.

I used to be a NOPI Chic. I would tour around with NOPI and sell merchandise at car shows. I was pretty damn good at it too. :)

I also used to bartend at Angels Rock Bar in downtown Baltimore. If you're ever around, you should go check it out. It's a pretty rad place, if I do say so myself!

I have a boyfriend named Darren who I've been with since January 2007. He is an amazing person, and someone I look up to in that he's everything I'm not, yet aspire to be. I hope that you all will be as privileged in finding someone who is the exact yin to your yang. :)

I am a genuine, sincere, and trustworthy person. What you see is what you get. I value honesty and integrity to no end, and try my very best to live my life in a way that exemplifies both (although lately, I have been known to digress from that path... don't worry, I'll find my way back). I am one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I don't see any point in making enemies or judging people.

Ironically enough, I'm also extremely socially retarded. I never know how to act in any situation, and I'm constantly saying the wrong things at the wrong times. I don't think before I speak, but in a sense, I guess this makes me a very honest and blunt person.

I'm quirky, weird, crazy, odd, whatever you want to call it - I'm a giant ball of eccentricities and idiosyncrasies that very few can actually appreciate. It's hard to meet well-intentioned people when you're me, and I must admit it's a pretty lonely life when you can't trust anybody. I have two best friends (Bleebie and Shannon) that are my world, and probably just as weird as me, though they'll never admit it. I have a son named Paddington who I've developed a rather unusual attachment to.

And if I haven't scared you off yet, read more. Scope out my gallery (workin' on uploading a crapload more), read my unorganized blogs, leave me a comment, whatever. I'll update this later. :)

BOOKING: For all booking, please e-mail me at meylimerch@yahoo.com with all the details. This includes .. features, guest bartending, club appearances, party hosting, shows, go-go dancing, wild animal fisti- *ahem*... ummmm... whatever it is you may have an inquiry about.

MYSPACERS: If you come to any of my shows, make sure you mention MySpace because I always am giving some free shit out to my MySpace friends at all the shows. Bring your cameras, and get a pic with your favorite MySpace butthole (me).

If you came to any shows and got pictures of me or with me, I'd LOVE to see them!
Send them to MeyliMerch@Yahoo.Com - thanks so much! <3

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I am a NOPI Chic for LIFE. ♥

There is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for my NOPI family.

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- An enigma to most, and understood by a very select few (not including herself).
- She doesn't play hard to get. She is hard to get.
- She hates getting her picture taken... if she's not allowed to make a funny face.
- She is much too sarcastic and silly for her own good.
- She can't turn left. She's not an ambiturner.
- A procrastinator in its every viable definition (which is why she will be finishing this section at another time, lol).

I Live: for my M3, Adderall, Paddington, chaser pills, ruining people's pictures by making funny faces, and beer pong.

I Work: hard for the money.

I Talk: in a secret language only a select few native Uranians would be able to comprehend.

I Wish: they made laundry bags with backpack straps on them.

I Enjoy: your mom with a large helping of mayonnaise.

I Look: at little kids.

I Find: little kids at the park down the street because it's where they usually hang out after school lets out as they wait for their parents to come get them.

I Smell: god awful. Something like a mixture between burning tires and elephant droppings.

I Hide: from my imaginary friends.

I Pray: to the people who created Adderall.

I Walk: No, I don't. I'm too lazy to walk anywhere. I drive down to the end of the driveway to get the mail everyday.

I Write: surprisingly well for someone who has nothing to write about.

I See: through people, and am a keen observer of hidden behavior that is invisible to the naked eye.

I Sing: along with the voices in my head.

I Can: lick my own anus.

I Watch: animal and midget porn.

I Yearn: for a mean cup of Chef Boyardee.

I Daydream: about Paddington one day coming to life.

I Want: a mean cup of Chef Boyardee.

I Cry: because it's the cool thing to do.

I Read: up on everyone with the aide of Facebook's news feed.

I Love: cleaning my room while I'm on Adderall.

I Sometimes: don't wash my hands before preparing a tasty dish for my loved ones.

I Hurt: small animals or rodents for the hell of it.

I Fear: dying alone.

I Hope: to aspire to something worth aspiring to.

I Break: absolutely everything I get my hands on.

I Eat: the most horrible foods and will most likely suffer a heart attack by the time I am 23.

I Quit: rehab because rehab is for quitters.

I Bathe: once every leap year.

I Drink: overconfidently because of Chaser pills.

I Stop: traffic when I go out. Probably because it's my day job to direct traffic at stoplights that aren't functioning properly. I'm serious.

I Save: little kids who... are in need of saving.

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The Story of MEYLI

The Myth, The Legend, The Butthole.

Meyli was born on a small farm in Kansas as the youngest of five children. Her siblings Emily, Limey, Miley, and Jim Bob never failed to ostracize and tease her about her real father being the milkman, but she refused to be swayed by their lies. At a tender young age, Meyli was given simple tasks around the farm which included, but were not limited to, feeding the schizophrenic horse, Barry. Barry had an episode one morning and managed to kick little Meyli in the leg as she was emptying his feeding trough. The bruises became so severely infected that her leg had to be amputated, and this traumatic experience would later propel her ceaseless fear of horses and schizophrenics.

Meyli decided then and there that she would not allow the fact that she now had a prosthetic leg to hinder her from chasing her dreams of one day becoming a middle-school bus driver. She would now work twice as hard as the average retard, and graduate high school in the nineteenth percentile in her class.

After high school, Meyli decided that Kansas was too small a state for her, and she decided to move to Delaware - the land of a million opportunities. After a two-year stint at the local Burger King (she was promoted to night manager after only 23 months!), she realized she had lost touch of her roots, and decided to go get them touched up at a rather upscale hair salon called Hair Cuttery on the corner of 7th and Center Street.

The man cutting her hair was so taken with Meyli, that he immediately began filling her head with thoughts of modeling and all things grandeur. Gustavo told her that he had connections and with a little work, he would be able to turn her into a model for the town's dollar store - and later on, the Special Olympics. Meyli became so excited that she quit her job at Burger King (and she now regrets this decision because it was biggest mistake of her life) and began training rigorously by doing five jumping jacks a week so that she could one day be a model.

In the midst of things, Meyli fell madly in love with Gustavo, and they got married, and even bought a little apartment together. The wedding was small, but everything she had ever imagined her first wedding to be. They held it in the gymnasium of the town high school, and it was absolutely glorious. Only two of her siblings were able to make it, but they were the two that Meyli didn't completely despise, so it was alright. The reception was held at McDonald's, as all twelve of the guests enjoyed the various dollar menu items - on the house!

Two months later, Meyli's mother came to visit - only to realize that Gustavo was Meyli's actual biological father. The moment was a tad awkward, as you can imagine. The marriage came to an abrupt end, and Meyli had to say goodbye - despite the fact that Gustavo would always remain her first true love. As a tribute, she got a tattoo around her anal lining of his name in a heart.

And I guess that leads us to where her life is now. Meyli moved to the dirty city of Baltimore, MD where she would attempt to lead a normal life. Modeling followed her, however, and a nice man named Mark Mogadishiu Meyers became determined to make Meyli part of his vision - The NOPI Chic vision. Despite her mental instability and the prosthetic leg, Meyli was everything he was looking for - two eyes, a nose, beauty, brains, ambition, a killer personality, and even a set of ears!

She is currently one of the select NOPI Chics on tour, so be sure to catch her at one of the shows. She may even show you her tattoo!

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Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Can you add me as a friend, please? [insert e-mail address here]
Of course I can. But why don't YOU add ME as a friend. It's simple, easy, and takes less time to do that than to write me a message requesting that I add you as a friend. Anybody can be my friend, so you don't even have to send a message asking if it's alright with me. *thumbs up*

Q: Can I have your AIM/Yahoo/MSN screen name?
Unfortunately, due the overwhelming amount of MySpacers who flooded my screen while I was trying to work on my site... I no longer give out my AIM screen name. If you'd like to contact me, you're more than welcome to leave me a comment on MySpace.

Q: Do you manage your MySpace or do you have someone do it for you?
My good buddy Schwartzy was so kind to design the background and contact table for me, but aside from that, yes, I do it all myself. I read each and every comment, picture comment, blog, messages (back before I blocked them due to the chronic masturbation) and have written this entire profile up from the ground with exactly what you all started with as well. I find that it's the least I could do for the fans. And even if I am an asshole to some of the imbeciles on here who lack common sense or the slightest shred of tact, at least it's me being an asshole to them, and not some random person I hired to do my bitch work.

Q: How do I get an 8x10 of you since the banner contest is on hold?
If you are interested in having an 8x10 or any other poster of me, please send me an e-mail to MeyliMerch@Yahoo.Com (subject: "8x10") and I will give you more details on which 8x10s you can choose from. They are 11$ and I only accept PayPal. Thanks for all your support!

Q: What's your nationality?
I'm 3/4 Chinese, and 1/4 Irish. This does not mean I have four parents.

Q: Are you into "hot chat"?
Personally, I think anybody who gets their jollies off to pixels on a computer screen is a tad pathetic. But hey, that might just be me.

Q: Do you have a boyfriend?
Yes, as of January 28th, 2007 - I do. His name is Dare Bear. He is a 26 year old accountant, and I adore him. :)

Q: Do you want to meet up and chill?
Generally, I am not a fan of meeting people from the internet (god forbid), though I have on many different occasions with mixed results. I feel that if you came across as somebody really cool to me, then yes, I wouldn't have a problem chilling with you... in real life. How do you achieve this? Here are some simple steps.

1. Don't come across as a horny pervert.
2. Try to be original.
3. Have monster testicles.
See? Not too hard to follow. Cool people usually take a month to really become spiffy and awesome, so if you can handle that... who knows!

Q: What the hell happened to MISSMEYLI.COM?
I forgot to pay the host for another year with the domain, and some asshole decided to buy the domain name while refusing to sell it back to me unless I give him 1,000. And I am not sure I can get my lazy ass up off of my semi-comfortable computer chair to do something about it, sooooo... I guess you will have to wait even longer for my site to be complete (and it has been under construction for... FOREVER). But seriously, why would I need a site when I have so much fun on MySpace? :)

Q: Can I have a webcam sign picture from you?
I am currently not making webcam sign pictures for anyone.

Q: Can you go on cam for me?
No.

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Meyli's Internet Features

Jackpot for the Stalkers

January 2007 - All Out Party Feature (interview w/ pics)

October 2006 - Smiles That Kill Feature (interview w/ pics)

March 2006 - Below the Belt Show's Honey of the Month Feature (interview w/ pics)

November 2004 - Car & Model Feature (interview w/ pics)

December 2003 - Drop Jaw Mag's Homegrown Cutie (old ass pics)

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Everybody thought I was a bitch on Friendster because I only added the people that I knew in real life, which is why I only had like 40 friends. I mean, it sounds like a lot. But compared to everyone else who has thousands, I must have come off as stuck up. So I will add everybody who expresses interest. AND WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT IF THOSE I EXPRESS INTEREST IN ADD ME BACK. This is MySpace: a place for friends and networking. Not MySelfishSpace: Don't Talk to Me If I Don't Know You Because I Have A Hammer Up My Ass.

Many people on MySpace are under the impression that I'm some sort of diva living a ridiculously luxurious life. Realistically, I'm just a normal little girl, trying to make it big in something I'm passionate about. I think every one of us is aspiring to something bigger, and perhaps that's what unites us in this jolly .. community.

For those of you who think nothing of MySpace... I don't think there previously existed anything that brought this many people together, all in a nice friendly community. Or anything remotely close. I think we owe Tom some homage. He is a fantastic guy. If you ever need anything, Tom, please don't hesitate to ask.

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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Meyli
Birthday:	January 30th, 1985
Birthplace:	In a tent on Uranus.
Current Location:	Baltimore, MD.
Eye Color:	Whatever color contacts I put in.
Hair Color:	Brown/Black for now.
Height:	5'2".
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right, though I like to tell people I am both so it appears I might be good at something.
Your Heritage:	3/4 Chinese, 1/4 Irish.
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Blue and white Skechers.
Your Weakness:	The internet.
Your Fears:	Losing my internet connection.
Your Perfect Pizza:	Thin crust with beef + pineapple!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	To be able to lick my butthole.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LOL.
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Did I feed the fish already?
Your Best Physical Feature:	My legs.
Your Bedtime:	Preferably 10PM, but usually around 1.
Your Most Missed Memory:	MOONBOUNCE.
Pepsi or Coke:	Coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Burger King.
Single or Group Dates:	Group dates! (this is a question that doesn't really apply to me, since I lack friends).
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea.
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate. Like poop.
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Cappuccino.
Do you Smoke:	Hell no. I'm allergic to it.
Do you Swear:	Do I ever!
Do you Sing:	Only along with the voices in my head.
Do you Shower Daily:	If by daily, you mean once a week, then yes.
Have you Been in Love:	Yes, sir.
Do you want to go to College:	I'm in college, dumbass.
Do you want to get Married:	Perhaps.
Do you belive in yourself:	Not really.
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Do you want to find out?
Do you think you are Attractive:	Not especially. I actually have low self-esteem, believe it or not.
Are you a Health Freak:	Ummm... does greasy fast food constitute "health"?
Do you get along with your Parents:	Now, I do!
Do you like Thunderstorms:	If I'm indoors, yes.
Do you play an Instrument:	Piano, violin, guitar, bass, and I'm a beast on the triangle.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Since I turned 21 about 13 days ago, I've drank 11 days out of the 13.
In the past month have you Smoked:	Ewww. NO.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Does my prescribed Adderall count?
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	With my left hand.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Arundel Mills, baby!
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	Do I look fat to you or something?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	No, but I'd like to.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Does on top of a trailer count... thus causing the fire marshall and local authorities to come screaming bloody murder?
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Yes, someone took a dump on my chest.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	In my weekly shower!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Uhhh... I'd like to answer this, but they might not let me back there if they knew.
Ever been Drunk:	What is alcohol?
Ever been called a Tease:	That's my middle name!
Ever been Beaten up:	Only for my lunch money today.
Ever Shoplifted:	Tic Tacs when I was 4. And then they put my picture in the window. I still can't go back to this day.
How do you want to Die:	Peacefully. In fire.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	White!
What country would you most like to Visit:	Canada.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	Blue/Green.
Favourite Hair Color:	Brown.
Short or Long Hair:	Short (spikes!!).
Height:	6'0"+. This is a MUST.
Weight:	190+-.
Best Clothing Style:	Preppy.
Number of Drugs I have taken:	I guess this is where the survey maker went retarded. If I had a dollar for every pill of Adderall I've popped... yeaaaah.
Number of CDs I own:	Do burned ones count? Mwahaha. I mean... nothing... hi RIAA... ;-)
Number of Piercings:	2.
Number of Tattoos:	0.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	Live your life with no regrets! :)
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!