Mike

Too Many Questions


It's Just a Joke Everyone......Please Relax!!


Nicknames: Snuckums

Birthplace: Earth

Current Location: At my house, you stupid fuck

Hair Color: What I have hair??

Eye Color: Blue, but I'm color blind so how the hell shoud I know

Height: If I stand on my tippy toes I'm 5'10"

Weight: 155lb Hold on I need to go puke now

Tatoos?: Still trying to decide if I want one or not

Piercings?: None that I know of

Overused Phrase: No



--Your--



Bedtime: I'm an adult I can go to bed whenever I want. Your not the boss of me.

Best Physical Feature: The think head of hair I have

Most Embarassing Moment: That day I walked into the ladies room and I screamed like a little girl when I saw they had a couch

Most Missed Memory: When I could use a comb through my hair

First Thought When You Wake Up: It's morning already. Shit I am going back to bed.

Weakness: Take my glasses away and I can't see shit or wave chocolate in front of me

Best Friends: Wait hold on a second, one of my best friends is stabbing me in the back. Fuck I can't reach the knife.

Goal For The Year: To grow a thick full head of hair

Greatest Fears: Growing hair in places that should not have hair


--This Or That--


Pepsi or Coke...: I choose Pepsi and now the Coke guy is crying in the corner like a little baby.

McDonalds or Burger King...: If I say McDonalds Grimse will stop whoring himself out for money

Hot Tea or Ice Tea...: Did you know if you combined them you will make warm tea

Chocolate or Vanilla...: You know damn well that I'm a chocoholic.

Water or Milk...: How about Milk Water? I'm a genius, I could so make a fortune.

Coffee or Hot Chocolate...: I'll take hot chocolate any day, coffee just makes me so hyper that everyone wants to kick the crap out of me

Hugs or Kisses...: Can I have both? Why can't I have both?

Cats or Dogs...: Doesn't matter because we'll be having steak tonight. Oh come on I'm not that cruel.

Summer or Winter...: Either way my finger acts up when a storm is a coming

Scary Movies or Romantic Comedies...: Scary movies, nothing says lovin like a good scary movie

Love or Money...: If you won't give me love, then I'll take your wallet.

Green Grapes or Purple Grapes...: Banana, oh shit wait that's not what you are asking


--Lover--


Perferred Eye Color: What do I care I'm color blind

Perferred Hair Color: Doesn't matter because I'm going to take some of your hair and carry it around where ever I go

Short Hair or Long Hair...:Either way, I'll cut it all off. If I can't have hair you cant.

Perferred Height: I'm either going to offend the giants or little people here so you figure it out

Perferred Weight: No matter what I say some fat chick is going to be offended and call me a pig.

Looks or Personality...: Well if I say looks, then the ugly chicks will be all pissed off at me, if I say personality the hot stuck up chicks will just continue to be stupid

Hot or Cute...:Either way I would do things to them I would not do to small farm animals

Skinny...Muscular...or Fat...: Skinny chick might fall through a crack and I'll never find her again. Fat chick would eat me out of house and home and the muscular chick would just kick the shit out of me.


--Favs--


Number: 2,3,4,5,6,7,8... oh shit I thought we were counting

Food: Steak,, hold on a second I just saw a cat run under my car. Dinner will be good tonight, oh fuck off I'm not that bad

Type of Music: Punk/Screamo/Metalcore/Heavy Metal

Candy: Are you fucked in the head, I said chocolate, take the tampons out of your ears

Color: Water, what oh I'm sorry I was looking at some girl's ass

Animal: Square? Shit I always get this question wrong

Drink: Anything with caffine that will make me hyper as hell and annoy any girl I am with

Body Part on the Opposite Sex: Does it really matter as long as she's hot as hell, I could care less.

Movie: That's too close to call (and for you dumb fucks, no that's not a movie)

Past Time: Baseball, but after the steroid scandal I can't play anymore. Just look what steroids did to me. Damn you Barry Bonds


--Have You Ever--


Drank?: No I'd rather watch drunks eating grass like a fucking cow while talking about masterpiece theater( true story)

Smoked?: No I'd rather get cancer from second hand smoke

Been Beaten Up?: Does beating myself up count?

Bullied Someone?: All the time, I know I'm such a jerk, now give me your lunch money you little shit

Skinny Dipped?: I really don't think you want to see my third nipple

Played Spin The Bottle or 7 Minutes In Heaven?: How about 20 seconds with a stranger?

Toliet Papered Someones House?: Oh you mean shit tickets, yes I doing that to your house as we speak

Played Poker W/ Money?: Yes and I got kicked out of the World Poker Series for wanting to play in the nude

Gone Swimming In A White T-Shirt?: Yes and I totally pulled off that whole wet t-shirt contest

Been Tickled So Bad That You Cried?: Why do you have to be so cruel? I mean if you keep doing that my eyes will dry up like raisins and fall out

Been Tickled So Bad That You Couldnt Talk?: .........sorry I couldn't talk for a second

Like Someone And Not Tell Them How You Felt? I usually resort to stalking, I'm looking in your window right now, oh yeah take it all off

Went Camping?: Many years ago at Camp Crystal Lake, there was this weird dude and well you know the rest Fucking Carrot Top, I'll never go there again. Get a real job you freak

Used The Restroom On A Tree?: Damn that would hurt and how the hell would you get up there to go

Had A Crush On Your Brother/Sister's Friend?: Yes and it was on Jerry Springer

Had A Crush On Your Friend's Brother/Sister?: Yes and it was on Jerry Springer, I'll be damned if I ever fall for that again

Walked In The Rain W/out An Umbrella?: Yeah it was called not having a car

Danced In The Rain?: Does walking count fuck nut?

Told A Joke And Nobody Thought It was Funny?: It's George Costanza all over again, I need to remember to go out on a high note

Been On Stage?: No, not in my lifetime, my bald head would blind people because of the reflection

Worn Clothes Your Mom Didnt Approve Of? Yes I'm such a slut. What the fuck you looking at?

Been To A Nude Beach?: Did you know it shrinks when it's cold? Like a frightened turtle

Cursed In Church?: No every time I enter a church I start smoking. no idea why

Been Called A Whore/Slut For Kissing Someone?: Yes and it was for working the corner thank you on South Street

Burnt Yourself?: I need to stop doing that thanks for reminding me

Been Dumped?: No, but I've taken one, does that count?

Dumped Someone?: In a way yes, she was kind of crazy

Been In Love?: Can't say that I have, unless dreams count

Been Hit On Someone To Old?: Pleae don't make me remember that time, that old man put his arms around my waist that night at work. I think I'm gonna be sick

Wanted To Be A Model?: Hell yeah, check out my body, I'd look so hot in a bikini

Wanted To Be In The Olmpics?:Is that the special Olympics where people don't know how to spell?

Bought Lottery Tickets?: No, after what happened to that one guy, I stay away from lotto tickets. That guy is so cursed What were those numbers again 4 8 15 16 23 42

Made Out In A Car?: Kinda hard when you are driving, you really want me to get in an accident

Cried During A Movie?: Wait hold on I need a tissue, Bambi's mom just got shot. I hate that hunter (Runs in the corner and cries)

Wanted Something You Couldnt Have?: Yes hair

Made Love On The Beach?: That only happens in the movies, do you really want to get sand there?

Shoplifted?: Yes when I was little, I stole a pack of gum, I know call AMW now

Seen Someone Shoplift?: No I was too busy coordinating the heist of the century

Hung Up On Someone?: Yeah I'll be honest, she's got my heart and I want it back, I want to live damn it

Yelled At Your Pet?: Yes I yell at my pet rock all the time. BAD ROCK YOU STAY OVER THERE. Sorry I had to yell at him again

Gotten Seasick?: Wait hold on I think I'm gonna puke

Tried To Strip When Drunk?: Yeah the last time I did that I woke up in a jail cell next to a big guy named Bubba

Bought A Thong Cuz The Casier Was Hot?: Oh my god you so know me, that thong rocks. I just love the way it rides up my ass

Stalked Someone?: If I ever do, can I stalk you?

Had A Stalker?: Yes everyday that it is sunny out I see his shadow right behind me

Played A Prank On Someone And Scared Them?: Yes, and loved it I would so do it again. I just hope this time I don't kill them by accident

Been Embarrassed By Someone In Your Family?: Yes and I see him in the mirror everyday. I'm just kidding I don't find myself embarrassing

Felt Bad About Eating Meat?: I never feel bad about eating Lassie. God Lassie tastes so good Protested?: I am right now. There are too many fucking questions

Been To An Island?: Yes and the "others" told me to fuck off and go back home so I did

Ate Cuz You Had Nothing Better To Do?: Yes I have an eating disorder, pretty soon I'm going to be as fat as Star Jones, oh wait she has that surgery to make to her stomach tiny

Screamed In A Library? Yes and then the librarian punched me in the junk

Made Out W/ A Stranger?: I'm not a slut, why the fuck do you have to call me a slut?

Made Out W/ Someone Who Wasnt Single?: Stop calling me a slut, it was only this one time, god it happened one time fuck off so I can make out with this dude's girlfriend

Wished A Part Of You Was Different?: I wish I could get rid of my tail. Do you know how hard it is to find pants? Talked To A Complete Stranger?: I'm talking to you aren't I? God you are so dumb

Been Sunburned So Bad You Blistered?: No, but I did have huge junks of dead skin coming off me. I was like that guy from RoboCop

Kicked A Guy In The Nuts?: Yes, and that bastard had it coming to him....Hey I'm working for the godfather, he ordered me to take care of him

Threw Up In School?: My god I'm so fat, after lunch I have to run to the bathroom and bring it all back up. Hold on I need to throw up again.

Recieved A Love Letter That Wasnt Signed?: Can't call it a love letter all it said was "I wanna fuck you really hard"

Wore Something You Hated?: Yes my god this horrible plaid skirt. It was repulsive and it didn't go with the high heel boots and halter top

Wore Something To Match Someone?: Yes my idol.........., ah fuck it even I can't say it

Been To A Luau?: No they won't let me, those jerks, (sobs in the corner)

Cursed Infront Of Your Parents?: I would never fucking curse, oh hey dad, hi mom

Been On TV?: Yes when the military found me hiding in that hole in the ground. Yes that was me

Been Outta The Country?: Only this one time when I had to leave the country because of this incident and the FBI was looking, shit here they come I gotta go

Been Honked At While Walking Down The Sidewalk?: All the time when I wear my really short shorts and that black halter top, you know you want it

Won A Pool Game?: No Tony the Pool Shark always kicks my ass

Went To A Party Where You Were The Only Sober One?: Yes, it was so damn funny watching the drunk people, the guy talking about Masterpiece theater and eating grass and the other guy with wanting to shit behind a bush at 6am

Went To School/ Work Drunk?: Kind of hard to get drunk on Kool Aid, trust me I've tried

Dieted?: All the time my God I'm so obese all 150lbs of me. Damn it I need that surgery. fuck Jarrod and his Subway diet

Had An Eating Disorder?: Yes I need help. Where is that fat chick from Cheers when you need her

Cheated On Your Other?: Cheated on my other what? I already told you I killed my clone. That will teach him to fuck around with my chocolate

Been Cheated On?: Does cheating on myself count?

Been Paid To Date Someone?: I don't do that anymore, after that court date the judge told me to stop or I'll go to prison

Dated Someone That Was Paid or Dared To Date You?: I tried doing that too and the cop stopped me and said, "Looking for a good time sicky?"

Tanned Topless?: No I don't want to burn my man boobs, damn it where is my bro, also known as the manzier

Been Strip Searched?: I just love it when some old dude is checking my ass to see if I have any cell phones up there, not

Been On A Plane?: Movies like Snakes On A Plane and Zombies On A Plane make me want to call the government and tell them to stop making those damn instructional videos.

Been On A Cruise?: No the government has banned me on cruises, as well as airplanes and trains

Been Pantsed In Public?: No, but I've seen it happen, boy was he embarrassed

Thrown Your Shoe At Someone?: Does throwing my shoe at my door count? It was being a pain in the ass. Long story

Broke Someone's Heart?: Why would you want to do that, all the blood and stuff and it's kind of soft, might be to soft to break

Sung In The Shower?: If you think Sanjia was bad, wait til you hear me on American Idol

Bought Something Way To Expensive?: Is that why I am like a $1,000,000 in debt?

Done Something Stupid And Laughed At Yourself?: This one time at band camp......

Been Walked In On While You Were Dressing?: No, but I walked in on my brother masturbating. I'll never forget that god awful moment in my life

Been Walked In On While Showering?: When I was a kid, god my brother doesn't know the meaning of privacy

Ran Out Of A Movie Theater Cuz You Got Scared?: Yes, when Bambi's mom started fucking this one guy, oh wait that's another movie

Been Kicked Out Of A Mall/ Store?: Security cops were just jealous that they could not wear a halter top like I can.

Been Kicked Out Of A GoCart Place Cuz You Wrecked The Go Cart?: Hey that guy cut me off and I accidently crashed into him. I can't help it if it blew up and took three other carts with it. Damn Mario and those turtle shells.

Been In Detention?: Oh the days of lunch detention, those bring back the days. Don't ever call Mr. Smith by his first name. Isn't that right Larry

Feel Off A Roof?: Now why the hell would you go to bed on a roof? You know damn well how easy it is to roll off

Pretended You Were Scared So You Could Cuddle W/ Someone?: I do that with myself all the time.. How'd you guess

Been In A Wreck?: Yes the other day I was driving this 1940s car and had a head on collison with this other car and I got out of the car and ran as fast as I could before they both blew up

Wrecked So You Wouldnt Hit An Animal?: We have no deals with animals...the roadway is ours

Made Yourself Puck So You Wouldnt Have To Go To School?: Wow you can make yourself into a puck, that's pretty damn good.

you gotta be pretty bendable to do that. I bet the sex is great

Threatened Someone W/ A Water Gun?: No, but I threatened someone with a marker. Yeah that's right they got all marked up

Been Shot?: Shot in the ass with an arrow. Fucking Cupid never saw it coming to him

Had A Water Gun War?: No, but I just declared war on you. I'm gonna kick your ass

Been Arrested?: Yes, I remember that day they pulled me out of that hole in the ground


--Randoms--


Regret Something You Did In The Past?: Yes I regret not kicking your ass

Country You Wanna Visit: Well I can't leave the country anymore. Or I'll be shot on the spot

Way You Wanna Die: Quick and painless, what other way is there fuck tard

Like Thunderstorms?: Only when there is no thunder or lightning. Oh wait that's not a thunderstorm, that's just rain

Get Along W/ Your Parents?: Yes, but only because they pay me to

R U A Health Freak?: Wait let me ask my gut

U Think Ur Attractive?: I'm hotter than hell, you know you want to see my bald spot

Do You Believe In Yourself?: Is this like when Dorthey had those red shoes on and wanted to go back home

Wanna Get Married?: 6 wives is enough right now

Wanna Go To College?: I already did and look where it got me. I'm here answering your damn questions

Shower Daily?: Well after the board of health came and threatened to throw me out on my ass, I decided to take a shower everyday

Want Kids?: The thirty kids I have now is enough

When Do U Wanna Lose Your Virginity?: If I already have will there be 72 virgins waiting for me in heaven?

Do U Hate Anyone?: I hate you, does that count?

Can You Unwrap A Starburst W/ Your Tongue?: I tired that and ended up eating the wrapper and spitting out the starburst

Do You Think You Can Sing?: In the shower I am so awesome. American Idol here I come

Can You Open You Eyes Underwater?: No I will drown, my god are you nuts

Eat Whatever And Not Worry?: Yes all the time, but I really need help. I think I have an eating disorder Can You Whistle?: Can you breath dumb ass?

Can You Walk In High Heels?: Yes, but it hurts like hell. Although I do have this awesome skirt and top that goes with it

Do You Sleep W/ The Light On?: Yes, if I don't the monsters under my bed will get me

Do You Like Super Spicy Foods?: No last time I set that diner on fire

Can You Multitask?: I'm doing that right now dumb fuck

Touch Your Nose W/ Your Tongue?: No, but I can touch my nose with my finger

Can You Fit In Your Locker?: Not anymore. They make them so tiny now

Do You Spit?: No, but I can breath, want to watch?

Can You Taste The Difference Between Pepsi And Coke?: No, because I was born without a tongue

If You Could Wish 4 Anything...What Would You Wish?: To have a full head of hair, yeah I know it's not world peace, but I want my hair damn it

What Kind Of Perfume Or Colone Do You Wear?: I think it's called Hobo by Will Hemakeit

What Kind Of Soap Do You Use?: What you can use soap to clean yourself? Fuck and all this time I've just been standing under the water.

What's Your Favorite Scent?: Olde De Hobo, I think it is French, god the French suck, oh wait I'm part French, damn it all to hell

Would You Choose To Live Forever If You Could?: Yeah like I want to see the rest of my hair fall out