The moe.Republic
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"Greetings from the moe.Republic Hotel — In the Heart of the Lost Kingdom of Moose Harbor"
Male
71 years old
Downeast Way, on Moose Harbor, Maine
United States
Last Login:
7/6/2008
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Mood:
triumphant
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View My:
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http://www.myspace.com/moerepublic |
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The moe.Republic's Interests
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| General | History of plumbing. Brown eyes. The feel of a new pen. The aurora borealis. Popular uprisings. A bottle of good red wine. Fine cigars. The beach. Astral projection. A stand of pines. Moose. Amber ale. Prime numbers. Aureolas. Just how spectacluar they really are. Curves. The higher stages of the barbarian culture. P.T. Barnum as philosopher-king. Grilled Asparagus. Onomatopoeia. | | Music | If I told you moe., Steely Dan, Grateful Dead, Umphrey's Magee, Bebel Gilberto, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Pat Metheny Group, Ella, Frank Zappa, The MacPodz, The PMG, Little Feat, Delbert McClinton, Scott Hamilton Quartet, Bill Evans Trio, Chet Atkins, Jeff Beck Group, Allman Brothers Band, The Band, Van Morrison, Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, George Gershwin, Chick Corea & Return to Forever, Beatles, Jamie Cullum, Burt Bacharach, Dave McKenna, The Who, Coleman Hawkins, Harold Arlen, Cole Porter, Dave Matthews Band, Rosemary Clooney, Duke Ellington, Johnny Cash, The Zombies, Yes, Hank Williams Sr., Tartan Amoebas, Hot Tuna, and so on and so on, would you even remember? | | Movies | Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Animal House, Monty Python's Holy Grail, The Maltese Falcon, Notorious, Oh Brother Where Art Thou?, Blade Runner, The Big Lebowski, Big Fish, Chinatown, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Young Frankenstein, Old School... ah, what the heck. Is anybody really reading this besides Homeland Security? | | Television | "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." Groucho Marx
| | Books | Writing for Dummies: 2nd Edition... | | Heroes | (See: 'Who I'd like to meet') |
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The moe.Republic's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Here for: | Networking, Friends | | Ethnicity: | Other | | Zodiac Sign: | Pisces | | Children: | Proud parent | | Occupation: | Writer & Scribe |
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The moe.Republic is in search of total consciousness. If you see the elusive little minx pin the bleeper down and drop me an email. We gotta rendezvous with destiny to sort out.
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The moe.Republic's Latest Blog Entry
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On Tour With moe. & The Road to Destiny
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THE NEXT BOOK
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Vote for the next book from the moe.Republic
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Black Flies & T-shirts: A guy’s got to make a living
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May Day! May Day! Fried Ice!
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The moe.Republic's Blurbs |
About me:
Tales
from the moe.Republic
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- The exciting & hilarious
book by John Derhak, moe. bassist Rob
Derhak's brother John
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- Featuring original cover
art
- by moe. guitarist Chuck Garvey
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- Available
Now at Borders Books, the moe.Republic, Amazon.com, & just
about anywhere you can buy a book!
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What they're saying
about
- Tales from the moe.Republic
- ~The buzz of
the moe.Nation and beyond~
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"Good
old-fashioned storytelling... Derhak leads the reader from one
misbegotten historical-tinged fable to another with the breathless
abandon of a writer hitting all the notes." ~Randy
Ray, Jambands.com
"Mr.
Derhak's writing style, humorous and endearing, brings the characters
to life, like old friends you've known before." Boston
Herald
- "Stephen
King meets Prairie Home Companion meets John Steinbeck...
What can I say? It's that good!" ~Jackson Grant, Downeast Way Times
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- You
can buy the book here, through my website, or Amazon.com for
$8.95
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- A handy guide to how
you, dear reader,
- can Purchase a Copy
of
- Tales
from the moe.Republic
Options are as follows:
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- 1)
- (seller:
moerepublic)
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- 2) Paypal
me on my homepage: www.moerepublic.org
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- 3)
or Mail personal check or money order to me:
- John Derhak
PO Box 2238
Jupiter, FL 33468
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- email me your full
name, shipping address, and how many copies you're ordering at:
- moe.republic@gmail.com
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- Please add $3.00 S/H to the
total on options 2 & 3
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- Volume Discounts Available
~All ya gotta do is ask~
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- 'Book'
your
room at the moe.Republic and
- pick
up a copy today!!!
- www.moerepublic.org
- Email me here on
myspace or at
- moe.republic@gmail.com
- for more Information
or Questions
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- About the Book
- Long-time moe. fans
may remember the column,
- which appeared in the
old moe.Newsletter
- way back when.
That column was based upon a series of
letters to Rob, your friendly bass player for moe., from his
brother John, the humble, yet bungling innkeeper of the moe.Republic
Hotel.
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- brother John's
- Saga Continues
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- We're pleased to announce that brother
John has finally sat his ass down and turned all those letters
he wrote to Rob into a full-length book, Tales from the moe.Republic.
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- Now you, dear readers, can visit the mystical
oasis of the moe.Republic Hotel anywhere, anytime, and read all
about the adventures and misadventures of brother John when you
purchase a copy of Tales
from the moe.Republic,
which one critic has deemed "...indespensible!
A must read for every throne room in the moe.nation...!"
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- The Blurb
Tales
from the moe.Republic offers you a chance to journey into the heart
of the legendary Lost Kingdom of Moose Harbor. Find out how brother
John hooked Rob by the gills and reeled him in to back the hotel.
Then catch up with the many characters who frequent the hotel
and populate the town.
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- Like
brother Kevin
and his beloved dog Sparky who disappeared into the cosmos once
upon a Saint Patrick's Day.
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- Meet Porter Gibson Digit and discover
how this one man changed the course of history the day he invented
the finger.
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- There's Casey McNugent, the petting zoo
farmer who sells elephant semen for profit.
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- Throw in a haunted mansion, the misadventures
of Timmy Tucker, the craziest Fourth of July party ever, a cursed
pirate treasure, and you'll come to know why Rob and Al and Chuck
and Vinnie and Jim have spent the better part of last fifteen
years on the road and avoiding this place like the plague.
- Email me here on myspace or
at
- moe.republic@gmail.com
- for more Information or Questions
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- Also visit me on the web:
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- ~Full Cover~
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- This site
is 100% certified
- by the
house of
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- Excerpts
from the book:
- Tales
from the moe.Republic
- ©
2006 John Derhak
Bullwinkle
Lodge and Cabins
Upper Bean's Point
on Moose Harbor
Somewhere in
the Lost Kingdom
Tuesday, 9:17 p.m.
- Dear Rob,
Father always said it would come to this. Not that I'd end up
a basket case, but that my days of wandering would eventually
come to an end. "Sooner or later even the last tumbleweed
rolls no more, boy," he'd tell me. "One day it bounces
into town, the next day the wind dies down, and that old weed
takes to root and rolls no more. That's just how it goes."
I've heard that more than
once over the years. And I heard it again last week when the
two of us took to the road with a fistful of cigars and a battered
road map to guide us. Me and the prairie dog's Confucius, cruising
in a '58 Rambler, in search of prize real estate for our hotel-country
inn project. We've been on the move, too, making time--up and
down the coast, over the mountains, along winding roads, and
across the plains. A host of carnies and hucksters posing as
real estate agents have paraded us through ramshackle dumps,
pretentious palaces, and desolate swamplands. Too much driving,
really, in such little time. I was set to cave when father received
a tip on a happening spot up the Maine coast. A trucker filled
him in at a rest stop. The guy had a payload of wood flour, which
got the best of father's curiosity.
"Wood flour?"
father asked. "For what?"
"It's a filler,"
he replied, except 'filler' sounded closer to 'phillah.' "For
toilet seats and doughnuts. We got both ends of the market covered!"
He smiled and gave a shrug. "Think of it as sifted gold!"
It was pretty much all he had to say. Father being the consummate
businessman, they struck up a conversation. The next thing I
knew we were off to the low mountains on the eastern frontier,
a place the trucker called the Lost Kingdom.
I was spent and in no mood
to drive for hours into the wilderness. "Just a little farther,
boy," father pushed me on, "and the tumbleweed rolls
no more." He chuckled at his own wit. Up and down rugged
hills we traversed. On and on, climbing higher and higher past
windswept terrain. We nearly drove the Rambler into the ground
on that last mountain pass. The valves were tapping Morse code.
Father was cursing and swearing like he had hives. At me, the
car, or the trucker? I did not ask and did not want to know.
Once we cleared the pass I could see the ocean. I threw the beast
in neutral to cool her down, thinking it would be a good thing
to coast. Which it was until we hit G-force resistance about
a third of the way down the mountainside. I'm not sure if it
was the brakes that were smoking on that final turn or if it
was father's death grip on his St. Christopher's medal. I have
to admit that I was relieved when we rolled into this secluded
town. The big, old road sign read: "Welcome to Downeast
Way-the Last Sanctuary and Hope for Western Civilization and
Your Investment Dollar."
It's been one heck of a
road trip, but I think it was worth it. I think we've finally
found the perfect spread. Our harrowing journey and everlasting
search hath ended...
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Who I'd like to meet:
Dammit! I hate these kind of questions. People always say something too noble or too sentimental and I'm left looking like a cynical prick. Yet, it got me percolating. I don't mind saying that I've been searching for a few answers for a few years now, and have a few things I'd like to ask or say to a few people. So indulge me:
William Shakespeare—"Who for art thou, Bill? Just one solid lead, one clue, would have helped."
Mary Magdalene—"For Christ's sake could you set the record straight?"
The Bride of Frankenstein—"He made you scream. We know that much. But just how big was that monster?"
Thomas Paine—"I gotta level with you, Tom, 'These are the times that try men's souls.'"
Gandalf—"Let's talk about that pipe, or more specifically what you were packing it with that could lift a man out of the seventh level of hell?"
Crispus Attucks—"Why didn't you just duck?"
Abraham Lincoln—(see Cripsus Attucks)
The Wicked Witch of the West—(see Abraham Lincoln)
'Shoeless' Joe Jackson—(see Mary Magadalene)
And finally,
The Apostle John—"Could you explain 2:16 again; you know when you wrote, '...make not my Father's house a house of merchandise.' Because there seems to be a lot of confusion on that one."
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