~I think that bullshit shouldn't come in such nice little packages. ~I think people keep as much as possible from you, not for your benefit, but because they just cant handle their own fuck ups. ~I think that test driving before you buy isn't really about knowing what you're getting, but more about never seeing the world for what you have. ~I think animals are often more civilized that human beings, and maybe its us that should be locked away behind bars and in cages, and they should roam free. ~I think that if humans ate their young at the first sign of weakness in the baby, we would be on the endangered species list. ~I think people are always too god damned worried about what other people, who often don't even give a fuck either way, think about them, and they let it corrupt them way quicker then a match burns even. ~I think life would be a lot more simple if we all put down the cell phones and picked up some fuckin tools. ~I think that we as a civilization are jaded by what a few people with all the money and all the magazines are telling us. ~I think not speaking my mind more is a mistake. ~I think that self perception should be nicer to us then it is. ~I think if Michael Jackson is guilty then he is a piece of dirt. ~I think I should have made myself do better in school. ~I think when you finally float on love's wings, you don't ever want to touch ground again. ~I think we need to go back to teaching our children some decent manners and that they should hold onto childhood for as long as they can. ~I think we spend too much time drunk, stoned, cracked out, high on pills, or just plain stuck in front of the T.V. to try to call ourselves civilized. ~I think we have too much free time to know what way is forward anymore. ~I think the Amish should trade us places for a week, so that we can appreciate our electronic toys, fast moving cars, high paced, "rush rush rush to do nothing what so ever and be bored five minutes later" lives. ~I think we all take each other for granted. ~I think there is no better moment of the day then when i'm coming home from work and there is only a few more cars on the road, I got a cigarette in one hand, a Pepsi in the cup holder and 80's flashback music playing at ear splitting levels, in that moment, I am the queen of my world, and nothing else exists to stand in the way of sheer bliss. ~I think that we should make people go thru classes in order to take their babies home from the hospital, cause there are too many people out there screwing up on something as simple as loving. ~I think the world needs a bright happy fuckin paint job. ~I think money has clouded the worlds vision, and still gives them nothing but trouble.. no matter how much or little you have. ~I think that some days its easier to smile than others, but no matter what I always have something to be glad about. ~I think that I missed my chance to be a great person who made a difference. ~I think its possible that I will never have a child to raise. ~I think that the time is now. EVERY TIME. ~I think no matter how bad it is, there is someone right down the block that has it worse, and would trade places in a heartbeat. ~I think that without dreams, the lights go out. ~I think that finger painting should still be an option after kindergarten. ~I think nap time should be a required class ~I think that the president has us all wrong. ~I think that I think to much, and sometimes speak to little about things that really matter. ~I think sometimes I'm not heard. ~I think there aren't enough swings on any playground in the country. ~I think children need more people to wave at them from passing cars. ~I think America lost its heart before I was even born. ~I think my generation and those since me have somehow gotten lost in the idea of being nothing like our parents. ~I think if people were a little nicer to others then they would be happier with themselves and the lives they lead everyday. ~I think I was born in the wrong time. ~I think my heart is bigger than even I know. ~I think clean socks are my weakness and if I could I would have a brand new fresh from the bag pair everyday for the rest of my life. ~I think sometimes the only thing to say is nothing at all. ~I think that you can never go wrong with a spontaneous drive to somewhere you don't know where your going, and dammit it may take a while to get back. ~I think everyone needs an anthem, and if we find that one song that no matter what always explains us even if the words don't fit the situation, and we played it loudly in a car with no one around to hear us screaming the words with the windows down driving a little too fast on a straight stretch, then we might feel a little better about ourselves a little more. ~I think im tired of listening to people whine about things they will always hate about themselves, but never get off their fat asses to change. ~I think there are a few people from my past that I would be happy to erase completely. ~I think im glad that there isn't much about my past I allow myself to regret. ~I think that this today is the beginning to something wonderful. ~I think everyone should have a top 30 list. Top 30 things to smile about, top 30 things im glad I don't have to worry about, top 30 things I want to do before I die... so on. ~I think that when you finally fall in love, you feel foolish for all the times you called something love and it wasn't even close ~I think that sometimes you just have to smile and nod ~I think that im more foolish then anyone realizes ~I think that im smarter than im given credit for.. and ~I think that this is just the beginning of what I think
Watch your thoughts, for they become words
Choose your words, for they become actions
Understand your actions, for they become habits
Study your habits, for they will become your character
Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny
Music
I had all of my interests filled out but then some myspace ghosty came along and scared away all my interests. Here is a half assed attempt to fake my way thru it again.
Adema, 4 non blondes, blondie, concrete blonde, Nickelback, matchbox 20, Suzanne Vega, Cher, Paula Cole, Amanda Marshall, Lucy Woodward, John Mayer, Norah Jones, Billie Holiday, Ella, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Dizzy, Charlie Parker, Crystal Method, Junior Vasquez, Techno, House, R&B, Missy Elliot, Alicia Keys, Snow White and the 7 Blow Mes, Terrence Trent D'arby, Rick Astley, Mood Music, Metallica (old not new), Melissa Etheridge, Melissa Ferrick, Edie Carey, Alla, Pink, Bitch and Animal, Puddle of Mudd, Limp Bizkit, Salt N Pepa, Blue October, Rhianna, Eminem, Dr. Dre, Tupac, Some Rap, Staind, Starship, Journey, Poison, The Donnas, Ani Difranco, Bjork, Tori Amos, Tracy Bonham, A variety of sorts wouldnt you say?
Movies
Actors and Actresses:
Ann-Margret, Lauren Bacall, Fairuza Balk, Lucille Ball, Anne Bancroft, Tallulah Bankhead, Kathy Bates, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, Constance Bennett, Joan Blondell, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, Sandra Bullock, Cher, Montgomery Clift, Claudette Colbert, Holly Marie Combs, Sean Connery, Joan Crawford, Joan Cusack, John Cusack, Bette Davis, James Dean, Ellen DeGeneres, Olivia de Havilland, Doris Day, Catherine Deneuve, Marlene Dietrich, Vin Diesel, Kirk Douglas, Clea DuVall, Dakota Fanning, Jodie Foster, Clark Gable, Greta Garbo, Ava Gardner, Gina Gershon, Mel Gibson, Whoopi Goldberg, Cary Grant, Goldie Hawn, Susan Hayward, Rita Hayworth, Bryce Dallas Howard, Kate Hudson, Rock Hudson, Anjelica Huston, Angelina Jolie, Grace Kelly, Deborah Kerr, Hedy Lamarr, Heath Ledger, Viven Leigh, Jack Lemmon, Carole Lombard, Sophia Loren, Lucy Lui, Shirley MacLaine, Matthew McConaughey, Bette Midler, Alyssa Milano, Kathy Najimy, Paul Newman, Maureen O'Hara, Mary-Louise Parker, Parker Posey, Debbie Reynolds, Julia Roberts, Mickey Rooney, Rosalind Russell, Meg Ryan, Susan Sarandon, Jimmy Stewart, Lily Tomlin, Lana Turner, Denzel Washington, Bruce Willis, Natalie Wood, Steve ZahnBehind the Scenes:
Jodie Foster, Ron Howard, John Hughes, Kevin Smith/View-Askew Films, John Waters,
"This is you, eyes closed, out in the rain. You never thought you'd be doing this. You never saw yourself this.. I dunno how you describe it, one of those people who look up at the moon, who spend hours gazing at the waves, or the sunset. I guess you know the kind of people im talking about, or maybe you don't. Anyway you kind of like it being like this, fighting the cold and feeling the water seep through your shirt and getting to your skin. The feel of the ground growing soft beneath your feet, and the smell, and the sound of the rain hitting the leaves. All the things they talk about in the books you haven't read.
This is you! You guessed it... you."
Television
Books
*Something's WRONG here. You can't call a piece of fruit an apple when you want to eat it and a dandelion when you don't want to eat it. It's the same sort of fruit no matter what your intentions towards it are - Susanna Kaysen*
"I have this problem. I can confess to anything but it doesn't affect me. I have the ability to tell the truth while, internally, making it feel like fiction." - Patrick Moore Tweaked: a crystal meth memoir
"Suddenly, all at once, she knows, knows that he doesn't understand her, that he never will, that he lacks the power to understand such perverseness. And that he can never move fast enough to catch her." - Marguerite Duras The Lover
"You can’t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage." - Terry Pratchett Witches Abroad
""Perhaps we don't fully recover from our first loves. Perhaps, in the extravagance of youth, we give away our devotions easily and all but arbitrarily, in the mistaken assumption that we'll always have more to give." - Michael Cunningham A Home at the End of the World
"I am afraid of becoming nothing too", I said, "but I have a friend who says she shudders at the thought of her having been nothing for millions of years before she was born." - Kenzaburo Oe A Quiet Life
"Boredom is the bastard baby of Broke. I'm used to Broke living here, but when Boredom comes 'round for those weekend visits, things get a little crazy." - Angela Nissel. The Broke Diaries
"Brilliant people never think of the lives they smash, being brilliant." - Don Delillo White Noise
Heroes
"Damn the apostrophes at the end of forgiveness, black rain on your house and merry little dancing men on your front lawn. Let them leave their dumplings in your pathway." - Self Quote
"I will wash this salty mess of the revolution and anarchy of the soul off myself and find a clear patch of sky to look upon" Self Quote
I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind.
"I don't know what your odds are for the whole population, but as far as this car goes, you're a variable Mack Daddy."
What can I say I am just a little ol me in a little ol box.. a complicated circle with many corners.
I am a lover of people, of minds and intelligence. I adore people who think outside the box and aren't afraid to stumble over their own words to get to the other side with their own new way to put things. I am a survivor. I am screwed up in the head, but not afraid to admit it. I am learning new things about myself and others everyday. I am the leader of my own internal battle, but the first one to give my warriors pep talks. I am always trying to improve who and what I am, never satisfied with all that I am, there is always something else to learn or to grow to.. something better I can be. I am all I can be and nothing quite as good as what I could be. I am a soul seeker.
"All that you want to be , you already are. All you have to do is more your awareness to that place and recognize the reality of your own soul." - John Rogers
"Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no one's ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream? ...Green mouse ice cream was the worst. I didn't like that at all." - Delerium, Neil Gaiman's The Sandman
Some Wisdom from Alice and her friends:
"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"
"Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction."
"I have an excellent idea, LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT."
"It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change."
"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws."
• ALICE IN WONDERLAND •
Look upon the body as unreal,
an image in a mirror,
the reflection of the moon in water.
Contemplate the mind as formless,
yet bright and pure.
Not a single thought arising,
empty, yet perceptive;
still, yet illuminating;
complete like the great emptiness,
containing all that is wonderful.
I do not know if I exist... it seems possible to me that I might be someone else's dream... I might be a character in a novel, moving through the long waves of someone else's literary style... — Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
Your Result is: Blue
You are highly intellectual, loyal, confident, and faithful and you always seek the truth. You never jump into conclusions. You are very calm, and sincere. You are health conscious and you are a very serious person. You are very understanding and always seek knowledge.
Fate is like a strange unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.
Who I'd like to meet:
Id like to get to know you, but you must actually talk to me, otherwise how will I know you.
You find a flower half-buried in leaves,
And in your eye its very fate resides.
Loving beauty, you caress the bloom;
Soon enough, you'll sweep petals from the floor.
Terrible to love the lovely so,
To count your own years, to say "I'm old,"
To see a flower half-buried in leaves
And come face to face with what you are
Chan
If you could only see, how happy we could be.
If you could only know, I've in love with your soul.
If you could only give in, we would both win.
You are the one, and without you i'm undone.
Beating my head against a box, slamming into the wall
walking around invisible, like i'm nothing at all.
Ghostly form taking no shape, struggling, lost without a face.
Come back to me, let me warm your skin,
find yourself within my arms,
just open up and let me in.
If you could only see, how happy we could be.
If you could only know, I've in love with your soul.
If you could only give in, we would both win.
You are the one, and without you i'm undone.
*hangs head in shame*
i know, i know...3rd time's a charm?
i was wondering how long it would take you to catch on...we've at this for about 2 mnths now...*sigh*
wish me luck anyway?
Hi April! I'm happy to see your status message. Glad things are looking up for you. You seem to be doing well! Me? I'm great! Looking for a place to live sucks, tho. Keep your fingers crossed for me, -k? *kisses*
It was so nice to see you yesterday Friend!! It was for sure the highlight of my day!!! You look great!!! I love the picture you have right now as your profile pic. You look HOTT!!!!!!
Hi April. I just wanted to come by and give you a big **HUG** Please don't hesitate to call or text me. Day or night, ok? Hope you are well...considering. I'll be thinking about you.
hey im not hiding ANYTHING ok i mean its not like i miss u or anything.. haha lol yeah right i freaking love u dude! ok well who is making u aggravated?!?!? b/c if i have to i will.. nah nvrmd haha ur a big girl u can do it...all night long! haha wow barbara wow.. omg im sorry im just so AHH i could like just skip to washington and lick ur face or something.man idk i have problems thanks april u gave me problems! ok wel i love you and i miss u and i cant wait to see u... kisses and hugs ♥Barbara Ann...take my hand barbara ann, u got me rockin and a rollin....and ok im done...
