MAC!

Who I'd like to meet:

I'd Like to Meet covers a lot of ground, and it's pretty generic, so, instead, I will go into the specific activities I would like to engage in with the laundry list of people I would like to meet.

A full night of drinking pints, smoking, having a laugh, and getting completely pisht:

The Boondock bunch- Troy Duffy, David Della Rocco, Sean Patrick Flannery, Norman Reedus, and last, but certainly not least, Billy Connolly... he would be in charge of the laughs.

Next!

The Snatch squad- Guy Ritchie, Jason Statham, and Vinnie Jones... I would love to have Nikki and Teena Collins there as well, but I think we would all be cock-blocking each other to talk to them, which would distract us from drinking, and create bad vibes all around. Also, Madonna can't come because I think she would cramp Guy's style.

And...

The Trainspotting tribe- Irvine Welsh, Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner (who is also in Snatch), Jonny Lee Miller, and Robert Carlyle... would go out of my head to have Kelly MacDonald there, but, again, fights would ensue, and we need to focus on the task at hand: getting pisht.

Next Activity!

The consumption of absinthe while spouting philosophical, spiritual, and possibly political ramblings, with a mix of glamorized personal accounts and tales of adventure:

Bruce Lee - Probably wouldn't partake of the absinthe, but would give deep and enlightened philosophy, as well as techniques on fighting... as an added bonus, he could provide security to the rest of us in case a fight breaks out... as I'm sure we'll all be incapable in our condition, you see.

Jim Morrison - We would all have to watch him to ensure he doesn't drink all of the absinthe, but would be a gas to listen to as he trips out spiritually, you dig?

Dr. Hunter Stockton Thompson - Would be perfect for this scenario, because he would almost certainly bring along his own private stash of chemicals and alcohol, which I'm sure he would share, giving him even more value, because this would distract Morrison from the absinthe... and the great Dr. Gonzo would be...well... great for political conversation.

Ernest Hemingway - Having done and seen more in his life than anyone I can think of, Hemingway would provide fantastic yarns of action and romance... I just wouldn't look him in the eye for the first hour... he looks like he could bite the head off a bull, wear it as a hat, and freak the rest of us out with cries like: "You are lost in the Labyrinth of life, and I am the Minotaur!" And we would probably believe him, because we'd be zonked out of our heads.

The biggest problem with partying with these chaps is: they're all dead - R.I.P. - and zombies frighten the shit out of me... with absinthe in the mix, I'd be sure to lose my mind, and we can't have that... but damn it! I would have liked to have known them.