Take the quiz: Which Laguna Beach Character are You? Stephen You are a chick magnet! Not AS rich but hella hot and very popular. You like spending your extra time hooking up or at the beach... or hooking up at the beach.
Take the quiz: Which Laguna Beach Season 2 Cast Are You? Stephen You're Stephen. You're hot and can get anyone that you want. Except, you want your ex back and you can't stop thinking about them. You're really down to earth and you love to have fun.
Take the quiz: What Specific Sport Are You? Football YOU ARE FOOTBALL! You are americas MOST FAVORITE SPORT! You Kick ass and you kno it, you are feared my many, Have Fun!
Take the quiz: what alcholic beverage are you? Beer you are a party animal. you are full of life, you tend to get others in trouble even when its always your fault. You are beer! Plus you just love to be the absolute babekiller of your group. Face it...Youre wicked awesome and getting drunk just helps you realize your full potential as the raddest mutherfucker on the fuckin planet...bitches
You appreciate a good beer, but you're not a snob about it.
You like your beer mild and easy to drink, so you can concentrate on being drunk.
Overall, you're a friendly drunk who's likely to buy a whole round for your friends... many times.
Sometimes you can be a bit boring when you drink. You may be prone to go on about topics no one cares about.
You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration.
People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!
"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space"
You're a total go getter who will scrape and crawl to get to the top. And your lucky green underwear will help you get there without a struggle.
A fast learner, you enjoy a good mental challenge - whether it's getting your law degree or running a successful business.
Sometimes you push too hard to succeed, alienating friends and wearing yourself out in the process.
If you want to reach your goals while still maintaining a full life, put on your green underpants. They'll help you slow down and enjoy life.
You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.
While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions
For you, love is the ultimate rollercoaster
And you love to hold on tight and enjoy the ride
Every time you fall in love, it feels like the first time
And while it's exciting and exhilarating...
It's also stressful and scary!
You're beyond seductive, you're downright magnetic!
You life live and approach seduction on a grand scale.
You have an inner self confidence and energy that most people lack
It's these talents that make you seem extraordinary - and you truly are!
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Mayday Parade...has taken over my life. Their song "Three Cheers For Five Years- Acoustic" has been played on my computer at least 20 times a day every day since I first heard it. It's like an addiction, I can't function without hearing it. ~Taking Back Sunday~, Brand New, Angels and Airwaves, Blink 182, Boxcar Racer, The Used, Senses Fail, Chiodos, Panic! At The Disco, All-American Rejects, The Killers, Underoath, Finch, Silverstein, Green Day, Yellowcard, My Chemical Romance, Matchbook Romance, Senses Fail, Hawthorne Heights, Story of The Year, Sugarcult, Fall Out Boy, Anberlin, Brand New, Maroon 5, Lost Prophets, Coheed n Cambria, Oasis, Something Corporate, Weezer, All Time Low, The Starting Line, Rookie Of The Year, Boys Like Girls, Four Letter Lie, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Dashboard Confessional, Secondhand Serenade, Skillet, Linkin Park, Atreyu, Cute Is What We Aim For, Relient K, This Providence, The Paper Exit, 30 Seconds to Mars, John Mayer, Jack Johnson...
Jay-Z, Ying Yang Twins, Lil Jon, Usher, Ludacris, Jamie Foxx, Kanye West, 50 Cent, The Game, Joung Jeezy, Chamillionare, Mike Jones (Who?), Paul Wall, T.I., Twista, Chris Brown, Lil Wayne, T-Pain, Lupe Fiasco, Bone Thugz n Harmony...
Dierks Bentley, Brad Paisley, Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw...
Aerosmith, Gunz n Roses, AC/DC, Queen, The Eagles, Journey...etc, i'll try anything twice...
Movies
American Pie(s), Napoleon Dynamite, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Waiting, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Van Wilder, Big Daddy, Mr. Deeds, Waterboy, Little Nicky, Billy Madison, 50 First Dates, The Wedding Singer(Anything Adam Sandler), Old School, Night At The Roxbury, 40 yr Old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, Friday Night Lights, Varsity Blues, Remember the Titans, Bad Boys 2, Pirates of the Carribean, Shrek (& Shrek 2), Sorority Boys, Training Day, John Q., Finding Nemo, Monsters' Inc., Ocean's 11 & 12, Mean Girls (shut up, the bitches are fine, and it's funny as hell), anything with a plot, some humor, and some explosions...Like I said, movie buff...The list goes on and on...
Television
Chapelle's Show, Family Guy, Drawn Together, South Park, Mind Of Mencia, Old SNL, Lost, Real World, Real World/Road Rules Challenges, Laguna Beach, Smallville, One Tree Hill, Jimmy Neutron, Poker Competitions, College Football & Basketball Games, ESPN, etc...
Books
Bleachers, Harry Potter (Dude, I started reading them when I was like, 12...I can't stop now...), John Grisham, Um....I don't really read THAT much, and I forget really easily...I used to read Animorphs all the time, and this series called "Remnants"...that was a pretty pimp series, and "Everworld"....I wish i had more time to read more books like those...
Heroes
Superman, Drew Brees, Mike "The Miz", Suzi Statezny, Hugh Hefner
Your Superhero Profile
Your Superhero Name is The Masked Alien
Your Superpower is Divine intervention
Your Weakness is Stuttering
Your Weapon is Your Radiation Saw
Your Mode of Transportation is Camel
About me:
My Slideshows...
********!!! DISCLAIMER!!! THIS IS A VERY VERY LONG "ABOUT ME". PRETTY MUCH THE LONGEST I'VE EVER SEEN IF NOT THE LONGEST IN EXISTENCE. IF YOU CAN'T FINISH IT ALL IN ONE CRACK, DO NOT WORRY, WE WON'T CALL YOU A PUSSY (AT LEAST NOT TO YOUR FACE). BUT SERIOUSLY, I KNOW IT IS LONG. AFTER ALL, IT TOOK A FEW TIMES OVER THE PERIOD OF 4 MONTHS OR SO TO WRITE IT. IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY NUMBNESS OR TINGLING IN YOUR EXTREMITIES, THEN KEEP TRACK OF WHERE YOU LEFT OFF, TAKE A BREATHER, GET A CHICKEN SANGWICH PERHAPS, AND RETURN ONCE YOU'RE FEELIN UP TO PAR AGAIN. THIS APPLIES FOR ANY EXTREMITY (SUCH AS YOUR ARMS, LEGS, OR NECK) BESIDES YOUR PENIS...IF YOU FEEL TINGLING THERE THEN YOU COULD HAVE 1 OF 3 PROBLEMS: a.) YOU HAVE AN STD AND SHOULD GET THAT CHECKED OUT, b.) YOU ARE EITHER GAY YOURSELF, OR "NOT STRAIGHT", OR c.) YOU HAVE A MAGIC TINGLING PENIS, AND THAT IS JUST HOW YOU ROLL. EITHER WAY, THIS FUCKIN DISCLAIMER IS GETTING LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE'S "ABOUT ME"S, SO I'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY...I PROMISE YOU THIS STUFF IS ABOUT ME AND MOST OF IT IS INTERESTING. IF YOU WANNA KNOW ME, THEN THIS IS A LOT OF INSIDER INFORMATION. ALL THAT ASIDE, HAVE FUN AS I, BROCKADIAH, GIVE YOU A PEAK INSIDE MY LIFE.******** I played football, golf, did drama and wrestled in High School. Love gettin together with the guys, crackin beers, lightin some cigars, and whoopin ass in poker. ..Love any music worth listenin to, and I’m a huge film buff. Love the movies...Lifelong goals are to A) Be on the Real World, B) Go to UW-Madison, C) Direct or act in a movie, D) Get piss-drunk and see lotsa...lovely young ladies at Mardi Gras, E) Go on a cross-country road trip to nowhere in particular and film the whole thing, F) Going to the Warped Tour (If a chick got me tickets to the Warped Tour, I would propose right then and there...hint hint).. So far we got 1 and a half down. (All of B, half of D) I love partyin n meetin new people, I love playin practical jokes, I love my summer job, I love summer period. I would live on a boat if i could (big boat, not a speed boat). i love the lake, the ocean, the sea, the river, the pond, the puddle...Water is my backdoor lover, and I don’t care who knows it...I don't understand people that can't swim and have no desire to learn...I even love the lake when it's frozen...maybe even more...I love trucks...a brand new, Leather interior, wood grain, pimped out with all the bells n whistles Toyota Tundra would be my ideal vehicle, but i've always dreamed of becoming a gangsta just so i could have a shiny white Escalade with ruby rims, and a blood-red interior...I miss my childhood, i only remember bits and pieces...I can remember highlights from living in Okinawa, Japan; Osan AFB, Korea; Tucson, Arizona; and Crandon, Wisconsin... I used to be a pretty popular guy in elementary and middle school and lookin back, i have no reason why...i used to get a lot of girls as the short chubby bastard with glasses...but i spose when u consider all of the 2-week middle school relationships, a girlfriend wasn't the same...i used to think it was so hilarious when, in middle school, a guy could go out with a girl and be the funniest, cutest, sweetest, best guy in the world...........and then once they broke up he was an ugly, smelly dickhead...Ya gotta love the maturity of it all... Personality goes a long way, and when it comes to girls, i'll break it down for ya...A personality is ultimately what holds a relationship together...but if u don't have the physical attraction first, then the relationship is doomed from the start...Our appearance is supposed to be a reflection of ourselves, and if u dont take care of ur appearance, then how do u think that reflects the type of girl you are? It is my belief that the ugliest girls wear the most make-up...I don't wanna put my arm around a girl while wearing a white shirt and have an orange smudge afterwards... No offense, ladies, but i speak the truth...I hate madonna, gwen stefani, Fergalicious and most female country singers. Nothing really against them, I just don’t like their music. It’s almost too easy to write...I love putting "..." (i think it is called an "ellipsis") between/before/after anything i write...One period just isn’t enough (same doesn’t apply for people). When I don't talk a whole lot in public, most of the time it’s because my mind works twice as fast as my mouth...I think that in certain situations, i will play out a conversation with someone in my head, so that i can eliminate the need to talk to them altogether...I love dreams that u wake up and have to take a few minutes to get ur bearings on whether it really happened or not...I hate the dreams that u kno its a dream at the end, so u start to try n change it but then u wake up neways...I love the dreams that ur so mad at someone or something that u wake up and ur punching the air...I have deja-vu all of the time...I've had too many moments of singing a random, un-popular song in my head such as "Jeremiah was a bullfrog", and then having that song come on the radio/band/jukebox/karaoke machine a minute later to be a mere coincidence...Ok, ok...i'll admit that I've done the thing where u really wanna be psychic so u try to move stuff with ur mind....or try to blow a candle out by pointing ur hand at it and then staring really hard until ur eyes screw up...I used to think that Shredder from the ninja turtles was hiding behind my door if it was cracked halfway open when i was five...I used to think that i was so smart when i was a little shit and nobody else believed me....now i don't think im that smart, yet everyone else tries to convince me of it... Ok, so I got Valedictorian in high school... But (unless it's fatla) I don't sit there and try to rub it in or impress neone with it...especially down at Madison. Nobody cares. I would much rather be known as the "funny guy" or the "party guy" or as a "real good shit" than as the "smart kid"... I believe i have shown by example that there is a way to balance getting shitfaced on weekends and getting A's on weekdays... and it's not that i study hard or buckle down and try to learn.. i just understand the material quickly and i have somewhat of a photographic memory where i see something once and I can memorize it forever... (Example: I don't kno who the fuck Natasha Bedingfield is...i don't really care...but when "Unwritten" blasted in the speakers at a party this summer, and someone asked who sang it, I blurted "Natasha Bedingfield!" in a split second, and I have no idea how I knew besides the fact that I've seen her name and that song together somewhere)... I am seriously a procrastinator to the extremes, and I spent a lot of last-minute-oh-shit-oh-shit nites staying up til 3 trying to finish my homework in high school. Now, that’s more like 5 or 6 am. I love to write, i love to write...i love writing movie scripts, and i loved writing little plays for Spanish class and i love writing stories and dialogue and all that shit...but i hate writing poems unless i have to...poems suck... I wanna write a movie or a book or something someday that'll be produced or published so that other people can see n enjoy n that's how i feel i will benefit society... I just don't wanna go so far as to saying im a "GOOD" writer or a "GOOD" actor...because there's always gonna be haters that could prolly do better than me, and more power to them...I hate how people judge others without saying a word to them....I hate how a girl in my high school class could see a goth kid and say "eww" when i see a goth kid and i think "I wonder what he's thinkin, I wonder what he would be like to talk to, i wonder what kind of music he listens to"...I think that some of the "scariest" looking people in high school have some of the best taste in music... I'm not saying im an absolute music genius, because everyone should have their own taste...when it comes to Emo or Screamo or Punk, i think that screaming is fine as long as there's singing to back it up...i can't stand the "RAWW RAWW LAWW RAWW RAW NAWW RAWW RAWW WWAR HAWW HARRWWRWAH GARRR MARR FAARR!!!!" type music where all u do is bang ur fuckin instruments around and sound like u have a turd the size of a cat coming out of ur ass the entire fuckin song...I wanna be able to listen to punk rock and emo without being labeled as a poser just because i wear collared shirts and don't have black hair or wear pink and i play sports...I think i let magazines, tv, and movies influence my life way too much, yet i'm still addicted...I could spend all day on the couch watching TV and not feel like the day has been wasted (which usually happens after a night where I was wasted)... TV teaches a kid a lot of things when his dad is in the Air Force and doesn’t stay at home much. I love interacting with people, talking, laughing, bullshitting, telling way too long of stories.. Yet i can go days without any outside contact and still be fine...I love weightlifting and seeing n feeling myself get stronger....i hate running for the hell of it, especially in small circles like the gym...I wish i could do a backflip, even on a trampoline, just because people who do backflips are so cool...I use my cousin Zack as somewhat of a role model for what to do and what not to do sometimes, and i credit him greatly for my taste in music...I dont like shopping but i like getting new clothes...i like to look n feel and smell and carry myself in a good way, even if being labeled a Prep comes with that territory...I have such big dreams with no idea of how i'll reach them...I wanna be on TV more than anything, but im self-concious as to how i look...I don't think i take a very good picture... yet I've gotten compliments after my first night of my play that my facial expressions are "too much"...and the mayor's wife called me and told me that i should really pursue acting in the future... i just don't like getting my hopes up because its a lot of work to be a truly good actor...and there's so many other pretty-boys out in hollywood waiting tables and sending in head shots... I look at myself in the mirror and shoot myself a "Blue Steel" look automatically... I put a lot of sentimental value into the little things in life...I prefer comfort over anything...I keep momentos of the big events in my life tacked to my wall, yet my parents never look at it (such as my pizza box from football camp, my receipts from the dozen boxes of jello and the kiddy pool i bought for jello wrestling, or the detention i got for drawing a picture of a guy peeing on the blackboard my high school freshman year...) I wish i would have more pictures of all of the fun times i've had with my friends...we've made some fuckin memories, and the fact that time is running out for us all to be together kills me...When i have to graduate, i'll prolly be smiling while cryin on the inside...I hate the thought that i have to eventually leave all of my friends behind and move on, and i hate accepting the fact that NO MATTER WHAT, they will find new friends and boyfriends/girlfriends and they will change even if i refuse to notice their new selves...I love playing halo with the fellas just because i kno that we'll never have times like that again after this year...I try to make the best out of any situation and i like to add life to any party...I hate the sitting around n waiting for parties to start, i love the feeling you get from starting a party and having everybody talk about it for months afterwards...I feel so bad for breaking into my bar to serve drinks to my friends and party until dawn, but i had one of the best times of my life when i did it...I hate the feeling that u get when u wanna call someone ur friend but ur not even sure if they would call u theirs...I think that i'm the worst person to talk to on the phone because i have such a short attention span and am so easily distracted, yet i love it when i get a phone call...I like to jam out in the shower n make as much noise as possible...I love makin my dad proud of me even tho he never tells me outright... I wish i could just grow a goatee but its not as easy as it looks for some people...i wish i could do some crazy magic tricks that no one else knew how to do....I remember certain things that people tell me randomly forever, like when RC told me (while we were playing pool) that as long i was good at SOMETHING (like pool, cards, magic tricks) that u can show off at, the girls will be all over you... and i've taken those words to heart...Sometimes i wish that i could be a male stripper just because i like the idea of drunk chicks throwin dollar bills at me...i think that a male stripper is the most useless "job" in the world....for girls, u have to pay them to take their clothes off....guys will do it ne time, ne day, for ne reason for free....yet girls pay them anyway...not smart, ladies... Anywho, I think that everyone with the name Dan, no matter how cool or loserish he might be, he should always have the nickname "Dan the Man"...This doesnt apply to other names, like "Brock the Cock", or "Ty the Guy"...only "dan the man"...I am a seriously deep sleeper...i love my bed, and once I'm facedown in my pillow, I never wanna leave...I never thought that I'd be a good person to actually sleep with someone else (as in, actually sleep next to) but it’s worked out a few times before…usually my feet hang off the bed, though, unless I’m snuggling...Any kisses are sweet and appreciated, but "good" kisses are the best...I already have my wedding song picked out, thanks to Adam Sandler...If i have a son, i think i'll name him Owen, just kinda like the name n all...Wrestlin my senior year really took a toll on me...My shoulder is still pretty fucked up and i didn't do the stretches and exercises the physical therapist gave me, so I can’t really throw a baseball that well... I don't like bringing up injuries over n over again...I believe 100% in working through ne pain...I was accepted to this Frat House at Madison...n I was genuinely scared that the other guys would either be dorks or wouldn’t like me at all...(more to add later).I think generally i'm an easy guy to get along with tho...i think i can contour to other people's views...I really dont ever have a problem with neone who doesnt have a problem with me...Then again, i wont sugarcoat nething to protect someone...being fake grates my nerves...it's in the top 5 of emotional turnoffs...it's up there with baggage...i hate emotional baggage... I mean, i can understand someone who's had a rough life, had a bad family, lost a best friend (because i've been there), or had bad luck with relationships...but i don't like the girls (n i spose dudes too) that use that shit as an excuse or a crutch...i like to think i'm a good listener, but once they bring up the tragic shitpile their life is, a switch turns off in my brain to really honestly care, because really I can't do nething to fix the past... another turn off is a girl that is so dependent on me...i do like being told i make someone smile and happy, but i don't like being the ONLY thing that makes them happy...It’s a dick thing to say, but i don't like to be the knight in shining armor to save a girl from a depressing life every minute of every day... everyone has their problems, so everyone should learn to deal with them and move on... i dont wanna be "that guy" that has to make life better because the pressure mounts and pretty soon i end up having to sacrifice saying or doing certain things just because that's what's expected...and what happens if one time, im not there? now i've just added to their list of drama... DRAMA is an overused, bullshit term, especially to describe Crandon, Wisconsin... if you can't fix it yourself by thinking and doing something to make it better, don't fuckin pin it off on someone else or expect them to fix it for you... i'm all for giving advice on what i would do or what would make things better, but i dont want to get too involved... there are a lot of physical turn-offs...i wouldnt say im picky, but i dont like Unibrows, or really pale eyes...i dont even like MY eyes when they're realyl light blue...I would call myself a butt man...that's usually where my eyes choose to rest involuntarily...until i snap out of the haze and realize where i'm staring...I found out the hard way that I'm lactose intolerant and every time i try to test it, the results get even clearer...and it sucks because chocolate milk is my favorite drink...i love chocolate shakes too...Mcdonald's may be a fuckin fatty-maker, but their shit is pretty good when u have the munchies, and their triple-thick milkshakes (i recommend the chocolate banana) are absolutely tits... I love drunk-dialing...i think every one who is drunk should drunk-dial...because nothing really makes sense even tho ur trying ur hardest to be serious and philosophical. I just kno that when ur sober and you GET a drunk dial, sometimes its not so fun... but i still live for the chance to find out just who is up at "4 o' clock in the fuckin morning!!!" (The Taste of Ink- The Used...download it, good tune, guaranteed)... I’ve had relationships anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months ..and as it looks from here, im not gonna have a really serious relationship for a while... I’m not outright declaring that my goal is to get random ass, I’m just saying it's gonna take a LOT for me to settle down with anyone just because i need to have that perfect girl...im not saying the girl has to be perfect, because that's impossible, but she has to FEEL perfect for me... I was so stoked to head to Madison, and so far, it’s surpassed my expectations. Seriously, anyone I kno is welcome to room with me in my House and come to a game with me if u ask me in advance...I think i'll take out a good credit account or something and pay for everything with that, because i expect to make it big someday, n you gotta spend it to make it... I hate borrowing money to people… Right up there with Liars and Thieves are friends that don’t pay back what they owe. I’ve prided myself on never becoming one of those people..I can go on forever and ever but if u really wanna kno more than all of that (i know you're all thinking "There's fucking more?" but i've lived a full 19 years and got a lot to show), just talk to me...I'm open about nething, I'm a very good liar but i have a very guilty conscience, and I probably, most likely, will not bullshit u....So just contact me with ne question or comment and I'll do my best to answer....Take er easy, if she's easy, take er twice...and remember folks, Life's a garden...Dig it...(insert "rock n roll!" hand gesture here)
***Howdy, bitches. It’s been awhile, and a lot of the stuff in my About Me needed to be edited because, quite frankly, it was shitty writing or it just didn’t apply anymore now that I’m a college-made man. So far, I’ve survived through my Freshman UW-Madison College experience. It’s been a journey and a half, and I’ve come out of it with a lot more infinite wisdom, much like the shit up there^^^. Therefore, I’ve decided to make this shit even longer, have a scrolly bar the size of a termite’s dick, and just roll with it. Besides, who needs to study anyway? Enjoy.***
First of all, to respond to some of the stuff up there, I did live in and join Alpha Delta Phi, the Frat. It’s relatively small, which means girls can’t get lost in our house like they do in the bigger ones (even though some girl was crying into her cell phone in the corner of our pitch-black kitchen one nite after partying)… I would go on record as to saying that this frat isn’t like any others (“We Pop A Lot of Things, But Our Collars Aren’t One Of Them” is the unofficial motto). We haven’t had any roofie or rape allegations. Speaking of, I’m still confused as to where people FIND Roofies. Is there some drug dealer out there that sells Crack and throws in a couple Georgia Homeboys as a promo deal, or what? All of the guys weren’t dorks, and while I wouldn’t go so far as to saying they all like me, we get along for the most part. (Brotherhood, “Xaipe”) Xaipe is a greek word, and yes, we did have to recite the Greek alphabet during our initiation week… I like to do handstands when I’m drunk or sober. Maybe I just like to be upside down. I also like to streak or skinny-dip at any chance I get. Maybe I just like to be naked. However, I haven’t tried a naked handstand….hmmm, the possibilities. Anywho, I’m a big advocate of the shampoo Mohawk, and I’m thinking a lot of the guys know what I’m talking about. I’m a bit of a bitch when it comes to long hot showers, and mot of the time I lean against the wall and pass out….good song just came on the Itunes. Speaking of, I love my ipod, even though it has died twice. After it’s reborn again (twice), It will have beaten Jesus. Sorry JC, but Steve Jobs got you on this one. Speaking of Jesus, I’ve been to a bunch of concerts lately (gotcha…admit it, you were thinking “what does that have to do with Jesus?!?”). So far, I’ve seen The Drive Back, The Paper Exit, Cold War Kids, Cute Is What We Aim For, This Providence, The Used, 30 Seconds to Mars, Senses Fail, Ben Kweller, Rookie of the Year, Making April, Apparently Nothing and a shitload of opener bands, along with a Battle of the Bands. Not too shabby. And Yes, yes yes....I finally went to Warped Tour with Fatla this last summer, and it was a fucking experience and a half. Not even the 115-degree weather could keep our spirits down. So let's add to the list of concerts: Chiodos (again), Cute is What We Aim For (again), Four Letter Lie (again), Hawthorne Heights, Motion City Soundtrack, Autumn to Ashes, Killswitch Engage, Boys Like Girls, All Time Low (again), Jurassic Force 5, Amber Pacific, The Starting Line, Straylight Run... and a few others I can't think of. But the whole "whatever girl gets me Warped Tour tickets will get a proposal deal" is still up for grabs. Speaking of relationships, college freshmen year didn’t really go my way. A lot of first dates, like out to dinner… Not a whole lot of second…(as the Mexicans would say “Cero.”). A lot of the girls I’ve met here in madison (I’m saying MOST I’VE MET, not all. There’s room for surprise) either found their dorm guy before I got to them, or they’re opportunistic alcoholic skanks that use their good looks for free beer (and maybe even free sex). It’s not a surprising revelation, but it’s unfortunate nonetheless. I have yet to find someone genuine. You’d be surprised at how many Jen’s there are out there. Congrats on being the most popular name in my phonebook… I don’t smoke a lot, and I would like to not drink as much, but the Frat lifestyle has fully enveloped my life, and it really does boost the social aspect of college. Anyways, I usually only smoke after I’ve had a few. Not because the tobacco or nicotine affects me whatsoever, but because I grow calm by breathing slower. When a girl smokes, it’s a bit of a turn-off… That smell and taste doesn’t come off with just one gum stick… Backrubs are like….well…sex for me. (there’s a quote behind that). I mean, I’m not gonna blow in my pants or grow horny off of one, but you really can not beat a good massage after a long, stressful day. I mean, offer me sex, and that’s cool…and I might think you’re a slut. Offer me a massage, and you become the sweetest person alive for that 5-10 minutes. Back to music, I got what has to be my favorite job so far (yes, it even beats blacksmithing). I work security for a concert venue/theatre/nightclub. Basically I get paid $10/hr to watch concerts, watch for people breaking the law, like with pot or underage drinking, and kick them out. I really think i've only kicked out 1 underage kid, and it was only because i beat one of my coworkers to him. I'm not the asshole that's going to pick on kids trying to have a good time, because that would be entirely hypocritical, but I have to make it look like i'm doing my job every now and then. So far the shows have been kind of lame. Ben Lee and Elliott Yamin were pretty sweet. I got to be a bodyguard for Elliott, to protect him from the middle-aged ladies and their pre-teen daughters... Shit can get rowdy in a heartbeat, though.
And now for the stuff that I'm sure nobody wants to be brought up again, but it's been the most important turning point of my life so far... On Oct. 7, 2007, a date that has burned itself into everyone from crandon's mind... Tyler Peterson took the life of 6 people and himself. I don't need to go into details. Anyone who turned on the 20 news channels covering the story will know. And while neither of them deserved it, one name in particular hits me the hardest...and that was Lianna. I met Lianna when she rode home on my lap from a party. From that point on, we spent the rest of the night talking. About everything. She even made me tell her a secret that absolutely nobody knew. I'm not gonna call it love at first sight, but there was definitely something about her that kept me wanting more. She was finally filling the hole that Carly had left a year and a half earlier. I can't explain how she made me feel, but I know i was falling in love with the girl. She tried to pull the "just friends" speech right before I left for school, and I told her that I wasn't ready to walk away. I talked to her that Friday night...told her she'd be the first one I'd call when I got into town. When i called her later and woke her up, before i could hang up, she said "Hey...I miss you." The last thing I said to her was "I miss you too, babe. I'll call you tomorrow." She mumbled a "..kay"...and I finished with "Sweet dreams." I wish I could have said goodbye, and let her know how I really felt about her. I wish I would have called her Saturday night. There just wasn't enough time for us to be something. But I'm so glad I got to know her for as long as I did.
When I got the phone call, it was so hard to breathe, so hard to focus, so hard to believe it. I have never cried so hard and so long in my entire life. I went 2 straight weeks, crying every day. I had one day with tears in my eyes, but not down my cheeks. The next day I broke down again. Even now, the tears are rolling out. It's been so impossible to accept for me. I couldn't concentrate on school, so i dropped two classes. Work was just stressing me out and getting in the way, so as of today, I quit subway. I need some time to heal, I need some peace in my life....but all I want is to talk to her. Friends and family provide all the comfort and distractions that they can, but in the end, nothing will soothe me like the sound of her voice...to hear that "hey...i miss you" one more time. Because I miss her so much. Every day, every time I'm left alone, every time my mind is allowed to wander.
I can put on a brave face. I can laugh, and drink, and hang out, and even be with another girl, but it's not the same. It can't be, it won't be. Like I said, she was starting to fill a hole in me, and now that hole is closed off, walled off, and nobody will ever come close to it again.
Now I do my best to not take advantage of any friendship that I have, with anyone. I tell people how i feel. I end more conversations with "I Love You" and it's not just a joke anymore.
I love all of my friends. At time it seems like we're all we got left after this. I can't imagine losing anyone else. I'm not ready for another funeral. 6 straight days of wake after funeral after wake is enough for a lifetime, let alone the start of my adulthood.
I stumbled across an old quote one night while I was walking home from work. "Que Sera, Sera"- latin for "What Will Be, Will Be". I'll probably turn it into a tattoo one day.
I'm so emotionally drained from all of this. I need to get some sleep.
One Last Word To My Friends: If ever today is the last day you get to see or talk to me, know that I loved every one of you until my last moment. Without you, there is no me. And your love means the world to me. Some memories will fade, but I will never forget about you guys. I will never leave any of you behind. Que sera, sera. Let's make each day last as long as it can, be together as much as we can, and make the rest of life as easy as it can be. We owe each other that much. Let's take pictures, let's laugh more than we cry, let's fight and make up. Let's love each other until we die. I love you guys.
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Who I'd like to meet: Rob Dyrdek, Mike "The Miz" from Real World, Kate Beckinsale, Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Any of the guys from Jackass...The Creators of this comic strip...
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
and maybe these guys too...
Tomorrow's Nobody @ TomorrowsNobody.com
oh. shoulda drove out there. no one was out there like all day... yeah that's fine. i wish you were still the blacksmith. joe is annoying and dumb. okayy..haha i will blame it on him.
Sounds like a fun class to me...of course I'm alive...if i would have died you'd be devastated, and i doubt you've been devastated lately..lol. Any plans for spring break?
well im still here. this is the first time i have been on here in a while. and im at lanes. umm... i have homework that keeps me up until midnight and i still dont finish it completely. i work everyday. i get half days sometimes but i go in right after school. and school sucks and so does work. i cant wait for work to end so i can go home and do all of my homework. SUCKS. sooo im trying. even if i gotta stay up until 12:30 one night i will. maybe soon. how are you? take care.
hahaha lol... I still have that pic of you two in a frame at my house i think actually from that day... lol i won't dilly-dally.... and tell brian i've been collecting chicago apples for two years so he's in for quite a retaliation... lol miss you both a lot... will see you soon, will be in florida next week but will probably be up in two weeks
HEY... SO YOU JUST HAPPENED TO BE WANDERING BY MY LAKEHOUSE...AND SAW MY CARS THERE... LOL HEHE GOING TO GRANNY'S HOUSE? ☺ YEAH THEY WERE UP, BUT NO I WASN'T I WAS WORKING, SO I COULDN'T GET UP THERE.... i DID MY FIRST PROMOTIONAL MODEL GIG THIS WEEKEND... IT WAS PRETTY FUN... DON'T WORRY I WILL BE UP THIS SUMMER FOR SURE... BUT WHAT IS UR NUMBER... CUZ I DON'T THINK I HAVE THE RIGHT ONE... I HAVE... 17158892576 IN MY PHONE, BUT I THOUGHT THAT WAS UR MOM'S NUMBER, CUZ I REMEBER AT ONE POINT YOU BROKE YOUR PHONE, SO YOU HAD UR MOM'S I THINK... WELL ANYWAYS... U'LL KNO I'M GOING UP THERE BEFORE I GO CUZ I'LL BE MESSAGING YOU BEFORE I LEAVE TO TELL YOU WHEN I WILL ARRIVE... DON'T WORRY... I TOLD YOU I'D NEVER FORGET YOU... AND I MENT IT.
okay so i checked my inbox and well there they were a bunch of unread messages. so i read them and i havent had time to get back to you yet but i will! right now it is freaking late and i need to sleep... i hate school. alrighty ill get back to you as soon as i get the chance. ♥ Marissa Marie
im getting very frustrated with you... lol well that long message you supposedly sent me, i never got it. sooo you prolly have to re-type it or something... kk.. ttyl. hopefully.
