My English Class was all Jörg Kaier's idea, pending legal inquiry. Jörg is an actual English teacher but that doesn't stop him thinking that "vegetable" rhymes with "navel" or that you can buy a "bar" of butter. Bless his strong, hairy fingers. Jörg is the musical one.
If Jacinta Nandi had had her way, My English Class would have been called Fetish. It would have been a metaphor, right. Jacinta is a single mum who lives in Friedrichshain and flirts with the homeless outside Plus. They're not punks, Jacinta, they're tramps. Jacinta is the desperate one. Go and read Jacinta's blog at http://bitchslutcuntgirlwoman.blogspot.com/
When Ben Knight first performed at My English Class in May, he read a story so dark and claustrophobic that we all thought we'd been locked in a darkened sauna with Hitler. We liked the feeling so much we asked him to join us and read a new story every month. He said okay. Come and listen - that sensation of stickiness and total Fascist conviction can be yours too. Ben is the quiet one.
James Harris is a poet, comedian, teacher and translator - is there anything this boy cannot do? Yes, but it involves anal beads and runaway Romanian teenagers. He's had fiction published in Bordercrossing magazine and a story in the new magazine NUTS, and some people think he looks sexy when he puts a cap and tracky pants on. He hates tomatoes and is prepared to fight to defend this view. James also runs another English-German comedy night - Kafka comedy. James is the savvy one.
Influences
Our greatest influences would have to be all the wonderful and incredibly talented guests we have had on My English Class:
AL Kennedy was our guest in September, and she was a storm. You can read the Berliner Zeitung review in the blog.
Legs Akimbo from Team Plastique and Andy Snelling were our guests for June's My English Class, and very educational ones they were too. I don't wanna give too much away, but I think when Legs got the horse porn out it might well have been the happiest moment of my life. And when Andy's done lecturing you on the ins and outs of the English language, no-one will ever be able to tell you that you don't know shit....EVER AGAIN, right.
Fiona Mizani, otherwise known as the editor-in-chief of Bordercrossing, Berlin's first English-language literary magazine, was our first ever guest. Fiona's short stories are more English than a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits. And I am talking Earl Grey and M & S digestives here.
Moon was our second guest, and we liked him so much we invited him back the next month. His funny, angry, clever poems made us laugh and ponder wistfully at the same time. Plus we wanted to fuck his girlfriend. She was so fucking fit. You should have seen her. Jesus Fucking H. Christ.
Melissa Holroyd performed a sketch at the third My English Class. Melissa is an Australian actor living in Berlin. She has been in numerous films and plays and has toured throughout Europe and Asia. One of those films had Susan Sarandon in it. So now we want to fuck Melissa, too. Well, you know. We would.
Chris Walshaw is a man from New Zealand who has been living in Berlin for four years. His production company Megafalcon has put on shows such as 'Balkonstrasse 5', most of which he wrote, and 'Jam Sandwich' at the English Theatre Berlin. He also writes short stories and poems. There are rumours that Chris might be Ben's real dad. He does like his mum a lot.
Michael O'Hanlon was born to Irish parents in London and lives in Zehlendorf with his wife and children. He is a great admirer of the German healthcare system.
Naomi Christie comes from Stubbington in England, a town no-one has ever heard of. Not even people who live there. She's a teacher, comedian and photographer - our profile picture is an example of her excellent photographic skills. She loves tomatoes, and has a soft spot for Cameroonian refugees.
Sounds Like
A STEAM TRAIN EXPLODING SOFTLY ONTO AN ANTELOPE'S FACE
“[My English Class] have outdone themselves with "The Prison Sex Show. ... Dolphin-porn-lover and pineapple-poker Ben from Wedding (filthy, brilliant: Ben Knight) sells his new-born child to an alien. His wife Jacinta (glowing: Anna Fin)... threatens a sex strike if Ben doesn't get that baby back. .... For an hour and a half, the dry comedy sparkles.” - Der Tagesspiegel
Watch these hilarious bits from one of our earlier shows "Jam Sandwich" at the English Theatre Berlin, April 2007.
Süp… Abschiedskonzerte! You are invited to our last gigs in Berlin! We‘re moving to England for at least a year, so let’s all have some fun times before we go!
Donnerstag 24. Juli im ROOM 77 um 21:30 Graeferstr. 77, Kreuzberg. (U8 Schönleinstr.)
Samstag 26. Juli im PRIMARIA um 21:30 Boxhagenerstr. 26, Friedrichshain (U5 Samariterstr.)
Calling all maniacal sound'n'visionary performance and post-new-art lovers: Berlin's sadly no longer secret cult venue Wallywoods at Weissensee is one year old this weekend. Be there or miss Berlin's freakiest party on Saturday (starting with a wee freaky party on Friday) featuring the opening of our biggest exhibition yet, 23 artists from 20 lands, umpteen music & nutter acts including Isondu Tribe's light-jugglers dropping in from Argentina, the 10 Kaput Pianos Orchestra (open jam sessions), performance piano-painters, a new theramin, an old local bugger who won't leave us alone, and no doubt the odd surprise or VIP. Love to see you. Alive and well. Wally. (Free entry Saturday for everyone, especially naked people with money to spend. )
