About me: The Phoenix New Times has all your information for what's hot in the Valley - and we don't mean the weather. Look for bulletins from us telling you about upcoming events and parties or amazing giveaways. Want to meet up with the Street Team and get your chance to have your picture in the paper and also grab some free goodies? Check out our calendar below - it'll list where we're going to be! We're glad to have you as our friends! And remember... you can pick up a new copy of the New Times every Thursday for free all over the Valley.
The service fee free 4-packs & 6-Packs are available for the following Cricket Wireless Pavilion concerts:
- Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival featuring Marilyn Manson & Slayer – July 17
- Aerosmith with ZZ Top – July 27
- Toby Keith with Trace Adkins – August 14
- Def Leppard with Poison and Cheap Trick – August 29
- Brad Paisley with Dierks Bentley & Jimmy Wayne – October 1
New Times is hooking up one lucky reader with 4 FRONT ROW tickets to the Son Volt and Cowboy Junkies show at Mesa Arts Center on Tuesday, July 14th. Click the flyer above to register for your chance to win!
I wanted to tell you all about tonight! Its in the West so if you can make it, great! We want you to come have some fun with us! Its Always a great time with Dj Marvelous and the Fast Times Fam! And dam they are some cheap drinks!!!
It all begins this week... This is THE spot for house music on Friday nights in Phoenix.
The best in deep house, tech house, Chicago house, funky house and progressive house every Friday night @ Incognito from 9pm to 4am!
Join us on our opening night as we welcome Phoenix's legendary Pete "Supermix" Salaz!
SOCIAL residents Brian Pfirrman & dk.strickler will get it all started.
Hope to see you there. Together, let's lay the foundation of this new house!
SOCIAL (1st and 3rd Fridays) with resident DJs Brian Pfirrman, dk.strickler, Jacob Delph, Maji, Matthew Hinman, World Famous Rani "g" and Steve Edwards.
UNITY (2nd and 4th Fridays) with resident DJs RMC, D Anthony, Raul Riena, Byron Fenix, Donald and E House.
FREE before 10:30, $5 after $2.00 UNITY shots! 21 bar w/ ID. 18+ after 2am.
No dress code, come to sweat and connect with the music. FREE parking and cold AC to help you escape the summer heat! We'll be serving up something for your mind, your body, and your soul.
LOVE THE MAGAZINE. KNOW YOU GUYZ ARE REAL BUSY..JUST WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF WE CAN GET A REVIEW OR SOMETHING THANK YOU ..LOVE THE MAGAZINE GET IT EVERY WEEK FOR THE INSIDE SCOOP ON THE TOWN..
If your psychiatrist is your best friend, you are fucked. If your psychiatrist is your only friend, then you are totally fucked. Sure, it's great lying on the Doc's $25,000 Siberian elephant leather couch recounting your hole in the head life, starting with that train wreck of a childhood of yours and culminating with today's water cooler event, which ended when the last of your marbles finally fell out of your skull and onto the floor. Something your co-workers had anxiously anticipated, having had a pool on the exact date of your implosion, it being that obvious. But no one guessed it would be today.......... the day you closed your bank account and turned in the keys to your empty apartment, then headed to work on foot with the last of your belongings in a grocery bag and your life savings in a change purse. Your co-workers ignorant of the expense and the lengths to which you had crawled to actually lie on a garage sale Ikea leather couch. Having to sell everything........ your car, your furnishings and 97% of your cloths just to feel an empty ounce of acceptance. Not forgetting that your life savings included the rare stamp, coin and butterfly collections your grandfather left you. All of it, just so you could feel that someone at least, cared about you, if only for an hour a week. Christ, a hooker would have been cheaper and a lot more therapeutic. Some co-workers.They wanted to tell you about the couch yet couldn't, the pool's predicted time outcome, but mainly the vulgar water cooler banter and violent texting it generated, being just too plain attractive for the pseudo-intellectual in each of them to resist, the weak bastards that they are.
So now, there you are.......after the episode, after work and rushing, lying in the stench of your own melted life listening to the Doc, who now goes by his trademarked celebrity Dr. Ask Me, say that you are out. And your 259 previous sessions? Well sir, they have accumulated absolutely no points with him, adding up to Absolute Zero no matter how much money you have fed his meter. He concluding with "No tickie...No laundry", which you understand to be an unintentional metaphor, seeing now he is simply too stupid for an intelligent quip, appropriate or not. Besides he hates Asians. Christ, Vegas would have at the very least comped you a broad and a room full of booze to put her in, after a run like you'd just had pal. And yah, yah, yah........the recorded sessions are your life, belonging to Dr. Ask Me and always have. But who gives a fuck, because in that unfolding instant of sudden realization you understood.....that makes it your ex-life. Sure, with the help of a scribe he has churned your sessions into a book and is taking your ex-life to the top of the New York Best Seller List, marked #1 with a bullet. Copyright 2009 Dr. Ask Me. All Rights Reserved. Which leaves you thinking, so fucken what he can have it, as your back bleeds lead for the bastard.
You feel release not panic as you lie there, the couch having lost its allure, smelling exactly like sweating fear cured leather blended with the hint of an occasional female and a dab of day old pizza sauce. Wondering if he was treating some poor ex-Siberian detainee and fucking her on the side or whether he was just plane Jane fucking her, thinking, fuck the treatment this is all she is worth anyway, as he gives her one more for the team and sends her packing with 3 pieces of unwanted cold pizza lounging in the oily cardboard box it was delivered in. That, and seconds before the receptionist was booking your hour with some clipper, even before the Doc closed his office door behind you. Your time going to a guy with another run of the mill hard luck story but with a bank account. Tuning out the unusually talkative Doc's endless drivel, you realize for the first time that you, yes you, were merely his interactive television to play with. A television he could control with a premeditated movement or cough directed at your subconscious or if the Doc was feeling exceptionally energetic and charitable, with a question. Seeing that he is nothing short of a voyeur who gets his jollies by listening to a patient's poor excuse for a life or hearing about the sexual escapades of the bold, as he imagines himself a viral participant on the receiving end. As you lie there, surrounded by a room clinging to the stench of stale fear, you feel your own life for the very first time and leave as if on cue. Ask Me too lazy to notice as he focused on the sound of his own voice practicing his spiel for your slot's replacement. The same spiel you heard the first time you hit the couch and now again, as you leave, but this time hearing it as his graduation gift to you. Johnny Transistor, June 21, 2009 Copyright 2009 Johnny Transistor All Rights Reserved
Thanks for being on our friend's list, YOU rock!! If you haven't already come check out the tunes on our page...Sure we're a bit cocky and we can't stop droppin f bombs but we write str8 from the heart!!!..lol
Leave us some comments and let us know what you think our best song is.
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